[The phone rings.]

Me: "Hello?"

Her: "Do you know who this is?"

[This is when I started to get annoyed.]

Me: "No."

Her: "Well, what does your Caller ID say?"

Me: "I don't have Caller ID."

[This is when I made a mental note to order Caller ID.]

Her: "Oh. Well, I'll give you a hint."

Me: "Why don't you just tell me who you are and save us both time?"

Her: "You don't want to guess?"

Me: "Not really."

And so began a call from someone I haven't seen or heard from in over ten years,
and quite frankly, didn't expect to. I probably wouldn't have minded even if the
call had begun on a less irritating note, but then she kept
talking. She grilled me on my job ("Well, I don't see you
doing that."), where I live ("So you don't plan on ever coming back
here?"), who my friends are ("So you moved away and made a bunch of
new friends and forgot about the ones you had here?"), etc. She said
she was surprised I didn't recognize her voice because she recognized mine when
I answered the phone. "Well, you knew who you were calling."

When she mentioned that she ran into my mother that morning and asked for my
phone number, I made another mental note to coach my mother on the proper
procedure when confronted with this situation again. "Gee. I don't
have his number on me. Why don't you give me your number and I'll
give it to him the next time I talk to him." My mom said that would
make me look like a snob when I don't call them back, to which I replied,
"Which is worse: looking like a snob for not returning their call or being
a bitch when they do call?"