One night while getting in the car to go to the gym, the Roommate turns to me
and asks, "Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Sure", I replied somewhat slightly perplexed. The Roommate and I
have lived together for over 4 four years and know each other pretty well and I
don't think we keep many secrets from each other.

"Top or bottom. What are your thoughts?"

If this were audio, I would insert the sound of a needle scratching as it's
ripped off the record.

Did my roommate just ask me about tops and bottoms? What the @#$%?

For a millisecond I search my mind for any possible logical reason she would
ask this out of the blue. Maybe she's asking me because of her new gay
co-worker. Maybe he said something to her and she wants
clarification. Maybe she didn't get a joke on Will & Grace.

I give up trying to figure out why she's asking and decide to be a good friend
and ambassador for gays everywhere and wax intellectually on the subject.

"Well, it happens," I begin. "Some people have a
preference I suppose but I think with today's redefining of gender roles and
stereotypes..."

"Whoa!" she says as she holds up her palm to halt my speech. Her
eyes are wide and startled looking, like I just told her I was a cannibal and
there's a head in the freezer.

"Before you go any further, I meant apartments. The top or
bottom?"

"Oh." Slight (uncomfortable) pause. "Downstairs definitely."

* onmouseout="window.status=' Footnote '; return true"
href="javascript:alert('In my defense...COME ON! You ask a gay man top or bottom, what kind of answer should you expect? Bunk beds!?');"
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