• The shirt I purchased two weeks ago for $25 at Old Navy is now $10.
• Birds Of Prey. The lead character is called Huntress. More like Bad Actress.
• My white trash neighbor wearing a shiny purple blouse and white spandex stretch pants. *Footnote
• The optometrist who performed my eye exam was in his twenties. I have crossed a threshold where my health care providers are now younger than I am.

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Permalink | File Under: Lists

...here is a short list
of some things for which I am thankful.

• The Roommate. We have lived together for
  what seems forever. She let's me call her The Roommate and The
  Wife and doesn't bitch too much about it.
  
  


• The Cat, even though he seems to love The
  Roommate more than he loves me, yet I'm the one who cleans the litter box.
  
  


• I haven't died yet. (Well...I haven't.)
  
  


• Amy Sherman Palladino for making me smile and
  laugh every
  Tuesday evening.
  
  


• My new glasses that make my big head look
  smaller.
  
  


• The way my friend Kristin says "Hello
  there." after I tell her it's me on the phone.
  
  


• Ty
  Braxton for revolutionizing the way I think about my job.
  
  


• My coworker who lets me call her Buttercup (as
  in "What's up Buttercup?" The proper response is "The rent and I'm
  not paying.") and reminds me to consider "What would Ty Braxton
  do?" (WWTBD?) when I get stressed at work.
  
  

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Reading

Margaret Berry on The
Morning News. Smart, sensible and witty. My
favorite is her series on etiquette titled Don't Be Rude.

Utne (formerly known as Utne Reader). (Rhymes with
chutney.) They call is a guide for "balanced living" (whatever
that means). It has articles about social change, environmental and
gender issues, etc. I'm pretty lazy and selfish most of the time. At
least this magazine makes me think about being a better person.

Listening

The
Galaxy Kings by Bob Schneider
and The
Instigator by Rhett Miller. I
still haven't unpacked the boxes with my CDs, but the other day I tore through
one to get these albums out. They make the day go by easier. I think
Rhett Miller's Come
Around is my new theme song.

Watching

Coupling. Sure it's
the BBC's blatant clone of Friends. Who cares. This bawdy comedy has
two things going for it. 1) I can understand what the hell they are saying
unlike most of the mumbled BBC comedies, and 2) It makes me laugh out
loud. Not just laugh, but guffaw, cackle and howl.

Bowling For Columbine. Michael
Moore's new documentary about America's obsession and love with firearms is
extremely thought provoking, eye opening, humorous and clever. This will
be on my 2002 Top Ten.

Questioning

Diet
Vanilla Coke. It's gross. I tastes like soda and cake
batter. Bleah.

Anticipating

Receiving Prozac For Lovers from CD
Baby.

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Permalink | File Under: Lists

Tomorrow is The Roommate's birthday. She is turning 29. She is
falling into the same "my youth is coming to an end" mindset that most
people do.

To celebrate "the end" of her youth, she has been having a series of
parties all week. One night out with the girls, one night out with
co-workers, etc. At tonight's gathering, she is having a contest for the
best haiku written about a woman on the verge of turning 30. Here are my
submissions.

kicking and screaming
i will not go quietly
into my thirties

crow's feet are marching
to battle my youthful face
oil of olay helps

i am so sorry
i can't hear over my clock
biological

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Permalink | File Under: Sharing

For about a week now, I've had this extremely annoying song stuck in my head.

I heard it in a store last week. I don't remember which store or which
day, but I remember the song. It plays over and over in my head. Once I think it's
gone, it comes back.

If I could remember where I heard the song, I'd probably go back there and hurt
someone.

It's one of the more annoying tunes of the Eighties. You may remember
it. It's by the family group The Jets. It's called "Crush On
You".

Actually, I don't remember the whole song. Just two measures. Over and over and over and
over and over.

"The words you read, my heart?s been displayed / You found out I?ve
got a crush on you"

Until I looked up the words, I didn't know the first ones, just the "You
found out I?ve got a crush on you" part. So my version sounds
like this:

"Blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah / You found out I?ve
got a crush on you"

This must be hell.

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Permalink | File Under: Music