The Boob Store

This morning I took a friend of mine to her plastic surgeon to have some
stitches removed on our way to work. She had a lift and an augmentation
last year but apparently she needed a touch up.

We walk into the office building, a building I have driven past many times but
never noticed what it was. Entering the waiting area, I notice the very
large watercolors of nude women. The paintings showcase their breasts of
course.

Then I look to the left of the room and I see a front torso sculpture of a woman,
nipples and all, made of black metal mesh hanging from the wall. I am
looking at in in horror, not because it's of the female form, but because it
looks so tacky.

My friend notices my expression and jokes, "It's art."

"You'd think they have them be a little bigger considering their
business."

"It's the before shot," she says. "The other one's in
back." She smiles.

A few minutes later a man and woman walk in. They sign in and sit.
Then the woman proceeds to stare at us. My friend is half way facing me so
she doesn't see it. I look up and the other woman looks away. We continue our
conversation and she is staring again. Now, I realize this lady is
probably just checking out my friend's merchandise, you know a little compare
and contrast, but rude is rude so I start
glaring at her blankly until she turns away.

They call my friend to the back and I read the paper. I then notice a set
of four photo albums on the coffee table. I assume they must be before and
after shots or maybe just random shots of chests like when you go to the
hairstylist and they have magazines and trade books to help you decide on a
style.

Once the waiting room is clear (It seems this process is a couples friendly
activity, but try getting your husband to go with you for your pap smear and see
what his reaction is.), I pick up one of the albums and open it, flush with the
thought I am doing something I'm not supposed to. The album is instead,
filled with thank you cards and notes. Pages and pages of appreciation to
the doctor who "changed" their lives.

It just seemed kind of empty, sad and shallow.

Permalink | File Under: Sharing

Sunday after seeing a movie
with a friend, we went to grab a bite to eat at a place that
proclaimed it was a "tavern and eatery", however "sports
bar" is a more accurate description. As we were being seated, I was
struck by the number of families in the tavern. Families with young
children. Once we took our seats, I noticed there was a child's birthday
party in progress at the table next to us.

(A child's birthday party....at a bar....a birthday party for a 6 year old....at
a bar....on his birthday...at a bar.)

After a while, I noticed there was some guy at the bar watching a game on TV and
talking obnoxiously loud. Several tables turned to see who was being so
loud, including the birthday table. Then, it seemed a bar fight was about
to break out. Two guys, high on misguided macho testosterone, were
swaggering and doing the whole you-started-this-No-YOU-started-this routine.

It was fascinating to watch these idiots and I wondered if they would actually come to
blows over such a stupid thing. It was dinner and a show.

Then I looked around and noticed not a single staff member was doing anything to stop this.
They all looked like they were in their early twenties and had a
combined weight of 215 lbs. They went on doing their jobs oblivious to
what was going on. Finally one girl (the manager on duty?) asked them to settle down.

They did for like two minutes. Then it started again. One of them went
outside to wait for the other so they could have a smackdown in the parking
lot. The rest of the dinner was pretty mundane and when we left there was no pre- or
post- smackdown activities in the parking lot.

Permalink | File Under: Ranting

After a couple months of mental deliberation, I've decided to scrap that long list of New Year's resolutions I made at the beginning of the year. It's not that I don't think I can't accomplish them, it's just my priorities have changed a bit since I made those resolutions and I think my new goals are better ones.

Basically I've scaled the list back and decided to concentrate on the big ones that will make the most impact.

Exercise and Diet. This has, of course, been an objective since last year and I'm better at it some days than others. Lately though, I've had more better days than the others. I go to the gym about 4-5 days a week depending on my schedule and although I'm not obsessively restrictive, I do pay attention to what I choose to eat every day. Since last August, I have slowly seen changes. Last week, I decided to pull out a box of clothes that were my regular clothes before my fat clothes became my regular clothes. I tried them on and am happy to report they fit again.

Therapy. I started seeing a counselor in March. I haven't posted anything about it yet because I haven't really wanted to. It's personal and private and frankly, no one's business but my own. I will say that I am starting to see a benefit to it and am seeing some results.

Debt Management. This Friday I have an appointment with a credit counselor to consolidate my debts. For years I have hemmed and hawed when it comes to dealing with my debts. They have followed me since college and only grow and grow. I say I'm going to deal with them but never do. I always thought one day it would take care of a itself. A new job would pay more and I could pay them off faster. Once my car was paid for, I could use that extra money to make larger payments. Maybe one day I'd win the lottery (which is particularly funny because I never play the lottery). The cold hard truth is, my debt is never going away unless I deal with it, and bankruptcy is not dealing with it. My debt has a lot to do with my sense of control and my happiness (I figured that out without therapy thankyouverymuch.), so going to the credit counselor and paying it off will not only my happier but also be empowering.

There are some other minor things I am doing, but nothing really worth mentioning at this point. I think concentrating on the more important big changes will make more of a difference and will ultimately benefit me more in the long run.

Comments (2)
Permalink | File Under: Lists

I've been fighting the nastiest cold since last Thursday night. For five
days, I have been bed- and sofa- ridden, falling in and out of consciousness
(thanks in part to an arsenal of OTC medications), madly channel surfing looking
for anything to divert my attention from my inability to breathe through my
nostrils. My attention span lasted about as long the time between my
hacking coughs. TV sucks enough as it is, but TV in the summer is
especially heinous.

Fame.
So many kids. So little talent. Most of the time, I was mesmerized
by Carnie Wilson's French manicure. I laughed my ass of at this one
boy who's pants were falling down during the group dance number.
Style's a biotch sometimes.

The
Tony Awards. I hope for his sake that Hugh
Jackman is growing his hair for a role in an upcoming movie about 90's
grunge musicians and it's not his um...personal choice. (Ew.)

I
am still completely repulsed by Good Day Live but inexplicably drawn to
it at the same time.

Lily
has been kidnapped on As The World Turns. Who cares?

I
am very sad to say, I watch NBC's
rerun of its retelling of Carrie on Saturday night...in its entirety.
So, so, so very sad.

The
rest is all a blur. I think I saw some of Barbara Walter's interview with
Hillary Rodham Clinton, but for all I know I could have been watching She
Spies.

Comments (1)
Permalink | File Under: Life

I had the strangest dream last night. I was in my high school auditorium as an adult with other adults I didn't recognize. I was there to rehearse a three person play only there were four of us in the play.

I and this other guy were sharing one of the parts. He was going to play the role in the first act and I was going to play it in the second act. He was really good and knew his part. I didn't know any of my lines or what the play was about.

Here is where it gets really strange. Not only did I not know my part, but the part was written for an Asian man. (A hint for those of you who don't know me...I'm not Asian.)

To get a little weirder, the other guy was Asian. I wanted to get out of playing the part because clearly I wasn't suited for the role. Everyone including the Asian actor seemed shocked that I didn't want to do the play. I was trying to explain to them that it made no sense having two people playing the same role especially when one of them knows the part when I don't and he is also the same ethnicity of the character and it would be ridiculous, if not insulting, to have a white man playing the role of an Asian. But they just looked at me with disappointment and disbelief.

Comments (1)
Permalink | File Under: Dreams