Things I Won't Miss About My Current Crack Pad Apartment

The fragrant combination of dog feces and cat urine the entire outdoors seems to
be bathed in.

Getting a contact high from my neighbor's open window.

Having an apartment facing the pool.

The toothless-in-need-of-a-shower pool guy.

Watching the morning news and seeing images of my apartment complex with a
report that 6 buildings (none were mine of course) were evacuated during the
middle of the night so police could arrest someone building a pipe bomb in their
apartment.

Uni.

Morning/evening traffic.

Things I Will Miss About My Current Crack Pad Apartment


*insert sound of crickets chirping.