Two Sundays ago, I sat down to check my e-mail when I heard my cell phone beep. I picked it up and looked to see the little envelope indicating I had a voicemail. It was from my friend Autumn telling me she was leaving the country in a few days to go to Japan to teach English for a couple years.

I met Autumn about five or six years ago when I used to hang out with a group of friends every Saturday night at the same bar. I was smitten with her the first time I saw her. Big bright eyes and a smile that went on forever. At the time she was dating one of the girls in our little motley crew. Eventually they broke up, but since everyone adored Autumn as much as I did, she was still a part of the group.

Over the next year, our group started hanging out in bars less and less. I ended up quitting smoking and couldn't handle being around all the smoke. Soon, I would only see them at parties and get-togethers at people's homes. Each time I saw Autumn, she had a giant smile and a warm hug. We'd talk briefly and catch up.

Eventually, I had a falling out with one friend (let's call him D) who was my primary link to this group. After that, I couldn't bring myself to attend any gatherings, even though I was still on the guest list. I wasn't ready to run into him. I did however run into Autumn every now and then, usual at a concert or a music club. After a while, it became a sort of joke between us. See you at the next Ani concert, we'd say.

About seven months after I had my falling out with D, I was sitting in Nita's Hideaway waiting for the opening act for Melissa Ferrick to take the stage. Autumn walked up to my table and threw her arms around me.

"I didn't know you'd be here," she said.

"Well, you know...where there are lesbians, there is Brian. I'm really a lesbian disguised as a gay man you know."

We chatted for a few moments. Then she asked about him. "How's D been?"

I looked at her puzzled. "Um...I haven't talked to him since April. Didn't you know that?" I know he had told a few people. I figured the news would have gotten back to her. Maybe she didn't see the group much anymore either.

She got this ah-ha look on her face. "That explains it." She told me that she ran into him at a party I didn't go to in July. She ask him about me and he looked away and changed the subject.

"He didn't tell you what happened?" I asked. She said no. I gave her a brief overview. "Wow. That's so weird. I always thought you guys would be friends forever," she said. Friends Forever, I thought. It sounds so high school yearbook. I told her I did too, but apparently it wasn't meant to be. I told her I still care about him and always will, but I didn't think we'd ever be friends again

We talked some more and then she left to tend to her new girlfriend and I joined my friends for the show. A few month later at Pride, we ran into each other again. "He's here," she said.

"I know. I saw him walk by earlier."

"You didn't talk to him?" I told her no and said there is nothing to say.

"Wow. You guys really aren't friends anymore."

It struck me that she had held onto the prospect that one day he and I would patch things together and pick up where we left off. I told her that while I was sorry for the way things went down between us at the end, the awful things I said to him via email (a coward's device), I wasn't sorry for the outcome. Our friendship had expired a long time before we actually stopped being friends. Not everyone who comes into your life is meant to be a part of it forever. It took me a while to learn that.

(I started this post wanting it to be about Autumn and how much I will miss her. Funny how it got turned around and became about him. Time to pull the reigns.)

I listened to the message. "I had a going away party last night. I'm sorry you weren't there. I guess you didn't get the message." I didn't get any message.

She went on to say that I was very special to her even though we haven't spent much time together. She said that even if we were to ever lose touch, she knows that if she ever went to an Ani concert in Arizona or even in some other state, she knows she'd end up running into me there. It was one of those messages that you save for the allowed 28 days and hope you will remember to re-save it before it erases permanently.

I called her the next day and told her I was sorry I missed her party and the chance to see her before she left. We made sure we had each other's email and said our goodbyes. I told her the next concert I go to won't be the same.