Far be it from me to begrudge any heterosexual couple any iota of happiness
they may have on this commerce fueled holiday, however I don't think I should
have to be assaulted with their brazen public displays of affection.

I didn't even remember it was Valentine's Day until someone
reminded me. I then figured all my friends who are coupled (it sucks
being "the single friend" among a multitude of couples sometimes) would all have
plans, so I declared this evening a party for one. And what party is complete
without cereal based party mix?

I drove to the nearest grocery store to buy the necessary ingredients. As
I entered the store, I was immediately struck by the more than usual number of
people there.

Husbands and boyfriends making their last minute flower and
candy purchases for their loved ones. Couples shopping for wine and fine
cuts of meat for their special dinners. I didn't mind. I was on a
mission. With list in hand, I grabbed a cart and started heading down
aisles, searching for what I needed.

I was there probably only 15 minutes. In that short time frame, I saw not one,
not two, but three different men grab their female companion's asses
directly in front of me. Three!

I'm not talking a gentle pat or a
hovering above the back pocket of their jeans. I mean a "let's give
this a good squeeze and see if it's ripe" kind of grab.
Three...different...couples! One of them actually looked back at me as if
to say, "That's right. She's mine."

I only came down this aisle
for cereal, Dude. Trust me.

Now, before any of you non-gay readers go off on me and say "gay people can be just
as bad." Yes, I know that is true, however most gay people I know
would be less inclined to do so at Albertson's. It's not always "your
store".

In line for the bathroom at a gay bar?
Sure. But on aisle 7 next to the pretzels? Not likely.