I am convinced I have a period. Over the last couple days I have been extremely crabby and prone to unexpected mood swings. At first I thought it was because I'm broke even though I just got paid (stupid bills! stupid groceries! stupid everything!), but I think it's more than
that.

It stands to reason that men can have periods, after all, there is speculation there is male menopause, so why not PMS too? All I know is when I'm in a crabby ass mood like this, I crave chocolate and solitude and you don't want to be the one who pisses me off.

Another thing I've noticed is that The Roommate and I have lived together for so long that our cycles synced. It's a scary thought - isn't it? Last night she came home and I told her about my craptasitic day and she told me about hers and then informed me we were entering her Red Letter Days. I told her I must be entering mine too. Great! Two moody bitches and a bitchy cat under one roof. Steer clear of our house this week. During these times we sort of isolate ourselves from each other and the world and stay in separate rooms so we can ride the tide of the crimson wave until the storm passes alone.

Really, it can be quite fun during this time. Besides the binging on abundant amounts chocolate and salty snacks (our cravings swing both ways), there is also the group effort of focusing our negative energy on our enemies. We like to call this endeavor Low Brass Justice. (More on that another day.)

I have a feeling if all the world (men and women alike) were on the same cycle, that much PMS voltage could wield an awesome amount of power that could shift planets or bend the flow of time. It could be so powerful you could actually get those little sticky plastic tape things off CD and DVD packages without breaking off in little pieces (stupid CD tape!). That intensity could rid the world of movies staring Penelope Cruz and Colin Farrell. Reality television would not exist with that kind of strength. Imagine how easy it would be to clean up Washington with that kind of harnessed menstrual might.

By the way...It's already over 100° here. Not really helping The Beast Within remain calm. And so the five months of 100+° days begins.

Ugh.