1. If you are going to wear low-rise jeans, don't, I repeat do not wear granny panties underneath.

2. If you realize your big ol' flesh-colored granny panties are exposed, don't try to remedy it by pulling your low-rise jeans up. They are LOW-RISE...get it? (Gurrlll...tuck those big drawers in.)

3. Trying not to giggle behind a woman wearing granny panties and low-rise jeans makes me want to giggle more.

4. It's pronounced Man-e-SHEV-itz.

5. Apparently someone thinks I sound like a stuck up valley girl on her voicemail.

6. People tend to back away from you when you tell them you have been exposed to TB.

7. I am not contagious goddammit!

8. Someone else has heard of The Judybats. Not only heard of, but seen them in concert.

9. I can improvise a recipe for banana bread on the fly and it tastes awesome.

10. After having six days off from work, I've become a little too invested in the lives of the women in the Starting Over house.

11. Having six days off from work doesn't make going back to work any easier.