Prior to interviewing him, I knew very little about MAK. Here's what I knew: Many regard him as one of the sweetest people they know. He's from the Midwest and now lives in New York. He used to work as an actor.
Oh yeah...and his father's penis is very bendy.
BRIAN: Your parents seem like very funny people. Was there a lot of laughter in your house growing up?
MAK: Oh god, you start with the hard stuff already? I think there is much more laughter now than there was growing up. That's not to say there wasn't any. God knows my parents are a hoot and a half, but I think that until my siblings and I were really adults, we were still too busy trying to figure each other out and the laughter may have been more nervous than hearty, if that makes any sense.
B: You and your family seem close.
M: We are. Very much so and now more than ever. We were always tight knit. but there was a turning point ten years ago this
October, when my father had triple bypass at the incredibly young age of forty-three, when we realized that any one of us could be snatched away in a heartbeat, and that every day had to be lived and enjoyed and loved.
B: Does your family read your blog?
M: Oh my god yes. My sister is a regular commenter. She goes by her initial, L. And of course, we all know my mother is a huge fan. My brother reads it on a semi-regular basis, and I'm fairly certain my father either reads it or my mother reads it to him. It's funny. When I first began the blog, I had only told my sister about it. I thought she'd get a kick out of it. Of course, she can't keep a secret either and within two days I got a phone call from my mother saying, "Why didn't you tell me you started a website?" and there was no turning back.
B: Do you ever consciously edit what you post since your family reads it?
M: Absolutely not. Mostly because I don't want to subject my personal forum to any guidelines in terms of material. But partly because they expect the "shock value" out of me and love to see what I come up with next. I had thought my blog would be raunchier from the get-go, but it mellowed out pretty quickly, and only occasionally do I write about something and think "Okay, my mother does read this. How embarrassed will I be if she knows this?" and the voice in my head usually replies "Okay, she will say things a million times more embarrassing at some point, so just run with it."
B: (laughs) does K (MAK's boyfriend) read it?
M: Absolutely. He wasn't a big fan of the concept at first. But when I write about him, he loves it. Especially the sexually suggestive stuff. But I try to be very respectful about him. I don't talk about his work, and I very rarely write about any big fights that we may have had along the way, unless they are my fault and make funny stories. I think he prefers to remain this comical, mysterious presence in my blog and I'm happy to keep it that way.
B: Why did you start blogging?
M: I had gotten addicted to reading blogs and always thought it would be a fun way to express myself. I also thought that since I had stopped performing it might be a new way to try and express myself creatively. The first blog I had ever read was The Search For Love In Manhattan written by Faustus and I was hooked.
B: About how many blogs do you read today?
M: Lately I've been very bad in my blog reading and haven't been keeping up, but I would guess that there are in the neighborhood of ten to fifteen that I check every day and another twenty that I try to read as often as possible, even if it's once a week. I try to link to anyone who has either linked to me or who comments frequently on my site, which has made keeping up with my linked blogs nearly impossible.
B: Got to keep that good blogger karma going... right?
M: Exactly! I have earned most of my readers just by being referred from other blogs. I'm all too happy to return the favor.
B: Tell me about when you worked as an actor.
M: I was always performing from elementary school to high school. I started college as a music education major and eventually became a musical theater major. My professional stage debut came when I was twenty-one and a senior in college. I understudied in a musical revue that was playing an extended sit-down in downtown Cleveland and got to go on a handful of times.
B: Did you move to New York to pursue acting?
M: I did. Yes. For about a year after college graduation I did regional theater around the country and got into the actor's union, then did an oh-so-brief stint teaching at my old high school and finally moved here in May of 1999. I did the temp thing while I auditioned and quickly became the Lord of Callbacks for a few of the long-running, at the time, Broadway musicals. Les Miz. Miss Saigon. Phantom.
I made some good connection in the casting agencies, freelanced with an agent and got lots of callbacks. But I was continually told that I was too young for the type of roles for which I was being asked to audition and since I wasn't a dancer I was never going to be a chorus boy. So I did a few workshops of new pieces, took lessons and classes when I could afford them, auditioned as much as I could and tried to keep a positive attitude about it. But it's a rough life and it kicks your ass.
B: Did you make a conscious decision to stop acting or did it just sort slowly pass?
M: It was kind of a little bit of both, actually.
B: I'm sure that was difficult but I think it's pretty frickin' awesome that you worked at it. So many people merely dream and never take action.
M: I'm actually really proud of what I accomplished while I was working at it. Fresh off the bus, with no agent. I was getting called in for big Broadway shows and called back and called back. I was clearly doing something right. and the casting folk and directors always had positive things to say, so I'm proud of what I did even if I didn't get that "big break".
I didn't know it at the time, but my last appearance in a fully staged production was in the summer of 2001. It was a production at a regional summer theater in Cleveland, so I got to stay with my family and be paid to perform which was pretty freakin' awesome.
While I was home, my paternal grandmother's health started to fail and the focus of the summer became less about doing my job and performing and more about trying to spend as much time with her as possible. The show closed and I had to leave Cleveland. We hadn't expected my grandmother to make it much longer.
My sister's wedding was a month after the show closed and as that date drew closer, I was told that my grandmother was sort of rebounding and that she fully expected to make it to the wedding. Two weeks after I came back to New York she passed away and I found myself back in Cleveland for her funeral devastated, because I thought I would have at least one more chance to say goodbye.
I returned to the city ready to face New York again and throw myself into auditions with more fervor than ever, in honor of her. She died on August 29, 2001. So, thirteen days later...
B: I can't imagine what that day must have been like for you. I read your post about it and my heart ached for you.
M: I still haven't fully moved on. I know a lot of us haven't. When that happened, it sent me into a tailspin. I didn't want to get out of bed most mornings, much less get up at 6 a.m. to wait in line for two hours, then sing my 32 bars of music for a table of strangers. I kept thinking it would pass and I would get my enthusiasm back, but it didn't. I was horribly conflicted. In trying to explain how it all came to pass, I still feel horribly conflicted.
By the time the winter was ending and I thought maybe I could face that table of strangers again, my maternal grandmother died. I had had enough. I had enough of a bank account with a negative balance. I had enough of not knowing how I was going to get home to see my family for a joyous event, much less a funeral. I had enough of bouncing rent checks. Of living paycheck to paycheck. Of eating Ramen noodles and toast. Of not having security.
Between my grandmothers' passings and September 11th, I didn't have a lot of passion left that I wanted to express on stage or through my music. So eventually, I stopped pulling my audition binder out to rehearse my pieces. I stopped reading Backstage for audition notices. That was that. In the spring of 2002, I ended up stage managing and singing in an off-Broadway workshop as a favor to the musical director, who had been a mentor and coach to me.
I sang backup for Linda Eder in a one-night only benefit concert and that was the end of my career in the arts. It's really weird to talk about all of that. So few people know the reasons that I left acting. I think a lot of people would be very surprised and a few
would be very angry.
B: Angry?
M: Some think I've given up on my talent or didn't have the ability to see things through to a full career as a performer.
I think in particular, my grandmothers would be very disappointed in me which keeps me conflicted about my decision. But it's not a final decision. The joy of the theater is that you're never too old.
B: Absolutely. So it's rumored that you and other NYC bloggers have been known to serenade folks with show tunes after drunken debauchery.
M: I have absolutely no idea what it is you are talking about.
B: Denying it isn't going to help your case one bit.
M: Some Jewish female Baltimore bloggers should understood that drunken serenades are personal valentines and not announce them to the rest of the world.
B: How often do you and the blogger boys get together?
M: Lately, not as often as we would like. Schedules have been conspiring against us or we end up being too last minute in our planning. Usually once or twice a month, if not more.
B: GB:NY had quite an organic growth. Were you surprised it became what it was?
M: Honestly, going into it, I was absolutely horrified that it had grown so large. It started out as a conversation between Mark and I back in the winter, about him coming out sometime in May to visit and staying with me. Word slowly got out then people started blogging about it. Then came the logo and then came the event. And the drinking. Oh my! And the drinking.
B: Is your liver still recovering?
M: I'm not so sure I even have a liver anymore.
B: Sure you do. It's probably just pickled.
M: It's on hiatus.
B: Before the drunk dials began that night, Zenchick called me sober and one of the first things she said was, "Oh my god! These boys can fucking drink. They've had like 84 drinks each!"
M: She was so cute. One beer and she was buzzing, but we love her anyway. When all was said and done and the dust settled, I had met more bloggers than I had ever thought I would connect with live and in person. My link list grew by leaps and bounds and I've made some amazing friends. I think if GB:NY ever happens again, we should publicize it and get the local NYC gay publications to cover it. Just a thought
B: So I have one very pressing question. Who is Camille?
M: Ah, Camille. my darling, beautiful daughter. She is a plastic cow. Camille was given to me as a Christmas present during my senior year of college. I don't even remember why I named her Camille, but she had personality and charisma and instantly became a "project". I love her.
B: A project?
M: My best friend C. and I used to take her around town with us. To the bank where we would set her beside the window and make the tellers talk to her. To the mall where we would put her on a leash and drag her behind us. Eventually, she was a constant presence wherever we went and she became famous. Throughout the years, C. and I have maintained joint custody of Camille, and we photographed and chronicled her exploits. She's very well traveled for a plastic cow. She's been to Mexico. To dozens of cities across the United States. On a Caribbean cruise. She's been more places than me.
B: And she didn't make it to GB:NY?
M: I actually didn't have her back yet. GB:NY was the third weekend of May, but Camille was still with C. in Ohio. I didn't have my reunion with Camille until Memorial Day weekend, when I went home for my brother's wedding. She did however, make it to the WYSIWYG Talent Show reading by the gay bloggers. But the pictures turned out crappy, so I couldn't post any of them.
B: Well, she has high standards to live up to.
M: Oh, she's a very grounded and mature cow. She was the wonder of a child.
B: So here we go with the final four. Whom do you admire most? In what way does that person inspire you?
M: That would have to be my brother, Fireman. He saves lives, entering dangerous situations without a second thought. That blows my mind. He is brave and strong, yet is filled with buckets of love and has extra to spare. He's full of pride and he's not afraid to speak his mind and stand up for what he believes, even if that puts him in the minority. The path to where he is now hasn't been smooth all the time, but he has triumphed over every obstacle and has turned into an amazing man, even if he is always going to be my baby brother.
B: If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one ability or quality, what would it be?
M: I would like to be more patient and less control-freakish. I could stand to learn how to let things go and not obsess over those things out of my control. Although that only marginally beats out my desire to shoot strings of web out of my wrist. but then, I just saw Spider-man 2, and maybe it's more than I want to shoot other strands of stuff onto Tobey Maguire.
B: Oh my! For what in life do you feel most grateful?
M: For my family. I wouldn't be who I am today if it weren't for their undying love and endless support.
B: If you were guaranteed honest responses to any three questions, who would you question and what would you ask?
M: (long pause) Gosh, that's really tough. 1. George W. Bush: Tell me exactly how your marriage would be weakened if I married another man?
(after a very long pause) 2. Myself: What do you want to be when you grow up?
(another pause) 3. J.K. Rowling: How much longer do we have to wait for Harry Potter 6? Oh my god, I thought I'd never come up with three. Phew!
B: (laughs) Thanks a lot for doing this. I really enjoyed this.
M: Wait! Isn't this where we do it talk-back with the students in the audience?
B: Oh they all left while you were trying to think of your three questions.
M: Hey now!
