Tonight I'm going to Artlink First Friday with Kristin, Thomas and Adam. It's one of the nice things about living here. When people bitch that there is not a lot of culture here (and they do quite often. I used to as well.) it's usually because they haven't taken the time to look for said culture. There is a lot of stuff to do here, and much of it can be free. You just have to go looking for it.

I really like contemporary art. Some times it is weird or bizarre, but it is rarely banal. It evokes such strong emotions. I remember the first time I ever saw a Kandinsky, Kahlo, Chihuly or Haring in person. I remember the power they had to make me stand in awe, or puzzle me, or take my breath away leaving me speechless.

While I love modern art, I don't know much about it or art in general. I have a vague knowledge of styles and periods, but not enough to hold a conversation with.

I want to keep it that way.

When I studied music in college, I had many courses in theory learning about form and analysis. In one class taught by the department chair, he said on the first day, "At the end of this semester, you will never be able to listen to music the same way."

He was right. When ever I hear a piece of music or even a pop song for that matter, I listed for the chord structure, the melodies, the form, the timbre and texture of the instruments. While I still enjoy music and am very moved by it, a little of that pure aesthetic has been removed for me. I can't just listen to music, without analyzing it in some way.

I don't want that removed from my enjoyment of art and photography. I like not being about to convey what I'm feeling when I look at something beautiful or something that challenges me. I like just being in that moment, feeling whatever I am feeling.

I never want that to go away.

Mount Temple Update: It's still gross and scabby looking. I had to go get my photo badge for the homeless shelter today. Fortunately you can't see it in the photo, so I won't have the constant reminder of it. I can't say the same about where I got the skin test for TB. I asked my doctor when it would go away, and he said it would probably leave a mark forever. NOT the answer I wanted to hear. Every time I look at my arm, I see it. It mocks me. "Ha, ha...you have latent TB. You have to take medicine for a year. Ha ha." And then I tell the spot to shut the fuck up and the spot says "make me" and I say "I don't make trash, I just throw it away" and the spot says "Oh that's original!" and I say...

...

I'm sorry. Was that out loud?