The Universe? & I
When The Universe? is trying to tell you something, you should listen. I know this to be true. However, lately The Universe? has been a yackety mouthy bitch and sometimes I wish she'd just shut the fuck up once in a while.
On my way to work this morning, I stopped at Starbucks for something to drink. I ordered a donut. Okay...two donuts. It wasn't until after I'd driven off that I realized I never got my donuts. I was bummed because I wanted some chocolately goodness. What I realized was The Universe? was telling me, Brian...you are already a fat fuck and don't need any gawddamn donuts full of sugar and trans fat. The Universe? is right so I sucked it up and begrudgingly forgot about my wasted two dollars.
There is a boy I like but he is being weird. What was once cute playing-hard-to-get-ism, is now just annoying game playing. The Universe?
says, Brian...this guy is playing games and you know you don't like games and therefore don't play games.
"Yes, The Universe?. I know, but I kind of like this guy."
Too bad. You are smarter than this. You don't have time for his shit.
"But...I..."
Zip it fat boy and get your ass back to the gym. And stay away from those fucking donuts!
*sigh*
The Universe? can be cruel at times.
Comments
somehow methinks the Universe's voice is getting cross-wired with some Mystery-Science-Theater yo-yo...the message may be there, but the messenger, now that's another story :-)
Posted by: zenchick | August 17, 2004 03:47 PM
Maybe just a smidge. :-)
Posted by: The Other Brian | August 17, 2004 04:10 PM
Umm, Brian, I copywrited the word "The" recently, so you need to put that little 'TM' symbol every time you use "the." I'll be waiting at the mailbox for my royalty checks.Personally, I'm all done being patient with game playing boys and if I want to eat luscious, scrummy chocolate donuts I just go ahead and do it. Of course I don't fit into some of my pants, but hey, tight pants are coming back in style, aren't they?
Posted by: homer | August 17, 2004 06:46 PM
The Universe is right about the boy, but I don't believe in denying yourself a doughnut now and again...
Posted by: daniel | August 17, 2004 11:25 PM
Personally, I think that The Universe should...mmmmm donuts! What were we talking about again?
Posted by: pua | August 18, 2004 01:08 AM
I agree with pua...mmm...now I want donuts too. What were you blogging about again?
Posted by: jimbo | August 18, 2004 11:21 AM
Tell the universe to go to hell. :)
Posted by: mark | August 18, 2004 11:46 AM
The Universe is vast and cold. Donuts are good - but still bad for you.(that's my haiku for you)
Posted by: Scottie | August 18, 2004 01:02 PM
That's a pretty mean universe you're dealing with there...just cut it down to one doughnut and you'll be fine.
Posted by: Mick | August 18, 2004 03:18 PM