Yesterday I had septoplasty surgery to correct a deviated septum. It was the first time I've had surgery as an adult. The only other surgery I've had was when I was in second grade and I had my appendix removed. Once they cut the organ out of me they discovered there was nothing wrong with it and I didn't need to have it removed. I didn't find that last little tidbit until five years ago. I love when my mother assumes I had a full working memory at the age of seven while on anesthesia. (Gah!)

Everything went fine yesterday. I'm happy to report that advances have been made in hospital gown so my big white ass was fully covered at all times. My doctor stopped by to answer any questions I had as did the anesthesiologist who was HOT. After meeting him, the only question I had was "do I really have to be put under for this?" while I batted my eyes.

I feel asleep while being wheeled to the OR and later woke up in post op where a nice woman named Evelyn gave me ice chips. She didn't mind my tons of questions: Did they put a tube in my throat or something? What did she have done? Can I have more ice chips please? Did the anesthesiologist ask about me? She also didn't seem to mind when I hummed to myself, which I do when high as a kite on pain medication.

The Roommate picked me up, took me home and watched over me for the rest of the day. At first I thought it was kind of annoying every time she reminded me to take my meds but then I realize I wasn't remembering when to take them. So her caretaking was much appreciated.

Today, I am feeling tons better groggy-wise and pain-wise, but I feel so gross. My nose is filled with bloody ooze. I have never had such an impulse to blow my nose than I have right now. But doing so would be very, very bad. They were quite forceful driving that point home.

So for the next week I can't breathe through or blow my nose. So besides looking like hammered shit with my bloody oozey nose that is all puffy from swelling and usually has gauze taped under it, I also sound ever so sexy.

Too bad I don't have a digital camera or audio blogger to share the joy.