Since coming off my anti-depressant a couple months ago, I've noticed something is different about me. I think some sort of physical change has occured. Remember when I said I don't easily cry? That's not quite the case anymore.

A few weeks ago, I was sitting in my living room, playing my guitar along with the latest Patty Griffin album, trying to figure out the chords of one of the songs. There we were, Patty, I and my cheap blue guitar, strumming and singing together. And then it happened.

I felt a lump in my throat.

I cleared my throat and hit the rewind on the remote to go back a few bars and picked it up where I left off, but the words wouldn't come out. I was officially "choked up". I couldn't sing and barely could strum. The words were stuck in my throat and I couldn't see clearly because tears were welling up in my eyes. DAMN YOU PATTY GRIFFIN FOR MAKING ME CRY AND INTERRUPTING MY CHEAP BLUE GUITAR PLAYING!!

I put down my guitar and turned the CD off. "Okay," I thought, "THIS does not happen to me. What the fuck?" I mean, I could not continue playing or singing. It was very strange.

Flash forward a week. I'm watching Joan of Arcadia. Androgynous Grace has been secretly dating Joan's brother, Luke. Via instant messaging, she confided in him her mother is an alcoholic. That morning at school, when he finds her, the look on her face, just the look...no words were spoken, TORE right through my heart and got to the chewy center. I was a mess.

The same thing happened two weeks ago with the same program only this time it was Adam who was watching a video of him with his mother who later committed suicide. Slowly his face started to morph into a complete sob and I was RIGHT there with him. DAMN YOU JOAN OF ARCADIA FOR MAKING ME CRY...TWICE!!

Today was no exception. I was watching Camp, possibly one of the dumbest movies ever made but DAMNIT if I don't like it for what ever inexplicable reason. Two scenes just rip me up and the first one is the very first scene of the movie when you see the three main characters for the first time. One shows up to his junior prom in drag, only to be refused admission and then get the shit kicked out of him. This happens while the song "How Shall I See You Through My Tears" is being sung. Those Camp fuckers let you know right off the bat they mean business. From the first frame they declare, "We are going to be overtly melodramatic and over the top and GAWDAMNIT you will cry mutherfucker, so get ready!"

The other scene is during the final big show for the camp, when the plus size girl who's father had her jaw wired shut for the summer in an effort to lose weight ("That's right! We said we'd be over the top!") is asked to sing the finally number because the girls who were going to sing it got into a petty cat fight and can't perform. (Predictable? So what!! Get your tissues ready fool!")

One of the staff finds a pair of wire cutters to free her from her fortress of locked jaw. ("Implausible you say!? Oh. You just get ready for the water works dude. Get ready!")

She enters the barren stage and sings some song which OBVIOUSLY was created JUST for this scene. The song is basically her chance to bitch slap her father and say, "I'm a big girl and that ain't gonna change. You got a problem with dat. Then BRING IT!"

As she belts it out, I slowly start to well up and get all lumpy throat. By the end, I was sniffing and wiping tears off my face.

("Yeah...you thought you were immune to it, didn't ya? I just got you to SHED TEARS at a movie about kids at drama camp produced by Danny DeVito. DANNY DEVITO! DRAMA CAMP. Yeah...that's it. YOU are my bitch now! Go ahead. Wipe those tears away. There will be more, you pathetic little girl!")

By the way, my version of the film's commentary doesn't appear on the DVD. Only in my head.