What a fun day I had today. It started early so I could make my way into Phoenix proper to have breakfast with Adam. I was soooo hungry that I inhaled my eggs while Adam was just starting his. (I really should have eaten dinner last night.)

Afterwards we wandered into the Avenues of West Phoenix. There is a real East Side / West Side division in the Phoenix area, and I must admit that after driving all the way to 90-somethingth Avenue, I am a die-hard East Valley boy. I'm not sure what it is exactly, but I'll just refer to it as the lack of Ew®.

Mid-morning we met my friends Kristin and Kandice at a bowling alley to celebrate Kristin's birthday. (See...not all lesbians play softball.) I met Kristin ages ago when we both volunteered at the local GLBT community center. When we first met, we ended up talking for four hours. It felt like we had already been friends for a lifetime. She is one of the most warm and accessible people I know. Pretty much anyone who meets her, adores her. I feel very fortunate to have her in my life.

Kristin, being the ever-inclusive hostess, invited some of her friends with small children. The children — while adorable — always seem to confirm my belief that kids just aren't in the future for me. They seem cool and all in little doses, but I'm not sure I have the patience for a 24/7 situation with one.

The trick to bowling — I discovered — is imagining the pins represent someone you detest. After a few tries, I found that Starr Jones works well for me. Before releasing the ball, I would picture her spouting off something former-lawyer-esque or gushing about her gay husband, and let the ball fly. I've never scored higher.

After bowling, we went to see Batman Begins. It was great. I didn't even hate Katie Holmes in it and I really wanted to. While the movie was great, the audience sucked. Babies crying and mothers not removing them from the theater. Electronic devices beeping OVER and OVER again. People adding their own commentary to the film. (Hey buddy...this ain't The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Shut the fuck up!)

In the spirit of trying new places to eat, we had Chinese at a wonderful, unique place near Adam's house. I've never seen a restaurant like this in Phoenix. The decor was so unusual and eclectic, like it was a movie set or something. A very dark movie. This place had no windows, which was fine until we left and we were immediately blinded by the sun when we opened the door. I think I actually hissed like a vampire. The food was also very tasty too.

All and all it was a very fun day indeed. Good friends. Good food. Christian Bale. What more do you need?

PS - I just noticed that my template is sort of wonky, but don't feel like fixing it tonight. Maybe instead of fixing this tired old nightmare code template, it's time for a new design and just start from scratch.

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Permalink | File Under: Friends

I am sooooo obsessed with Savage Chickens. Simple line drawings coupled with dry comedy. Pure genius. And who doesn't love chicken?

Not that they need any promotion, but do yourself a favor and check out Josh & Josh Are Rich and Famous. They are like a hip, new show on The WB only funny and smart.

I was shopping at Wild Oats one day and decided to explore the nutritional supplement/natural beauty care section to check out the competition. I stopped to look at the colognes. Now, I'm not a big fan of cologne. It smells nice but usually gives me a sneezing fit. But then I saw these. I remembered The Roommate™ has a bottle of this. It smells like an Orange Cremecicle. I decided to try Laundromat and Dirt and have been very happy with both. I like wearing them together. I call it Dirty Laundry.

This made me laugh out loud several times.

Around the office, everyone is obsessed with a Tomato, Corn and Basil Soup I make. I've given the recipe to many folks and they all love it. It's super easy to make and very yummy. However, I can not take credit for it. I'm only the messenger. You can find it here.

Womenfolk recently turned one. If you haven't checked it out before you should. It's got some really good stuff.

Love the shirt. Hate the color.

Papal Adam merchandise is always a sure hit. Stock up on the official memorabilia of His Holiness today. I love when people ask me about my messenger bag. I base their reactions against my barometer of cool. Sadly, some just don't get the joke. Papal Adam says they are going to burn in hell with the Religious Right®.

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Permalink | File Under: Raving

It's a simple request really.

Please close the lid to the toilet so my cat doesn't drink out of it.

And yet, I have to post a sign on the bathroom door as a reminder for the people who live here.

Sigh.

Adam asked me what the big deal was if The Cat™ drank out of the toilet. I told him I didn't want my cat drinking out of the toilet because it is déclassé.

Even though we were on instant messaging, I could feel the blank stare.

"He's a cat," Adam said.

"Yes. He's a cat and it's déclassé."

Sigh.

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Permalink | File Under: Ranting

Why is it when I meet someone and we laugh and have a fun time and enjoy each other's company and we seem to dig each other which is odd, because I rarely dig anyone but for whatever reason, I seem to dig this guy...why is it that my brain kicks in and starts over-analyzing EVERY little thing to the point that I am actually cataloguing a pro and con list, thus ensuring that I will ruin a relationship before there is even a relationship to ruin?

Oh yeah...cause I'm fucked up.

Mary Mo, the kickass graphics designer I work with and some days, the ONLY reason work is bearable, told me last week that if I were to ever get married, I would be a Bridezilla. I don't think this is true, but it tickled me enough to change my buddy icon and instant message my friends and say, "RAAR!"

This weekend I went and saw the Brangelina flick. It's a fun little summer romp with a lame ass ending but really, does it matter? It's Brangelina for Christ's sake. Also, it got me out of the sizzling heat and into a cool, darkened theater.

Speaking of heat, I heard something truly disturbing on the morning weather report today. The perky blonde newscaster was going over the seven-day forecast and uttered these words: "It will cool off to 103 by the weekend."

Cool off? COOL OFF!? 103!!! COOL OFF!

Who is this bitch trying to fool?

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Permalink | File Under: Dating, Ranting

Adam made me take this test.

According to Lifetime, I am Suzanne Sugarbaker. I think it's because I answered that I would wear a tiara to bed.

In case there was any doubt, I am most emphatically pro-tiara.

By the way, The Summer Not of Love™ is a complete bust. May she rest in peace. It was good in theory, but apparently not easy to enforce.

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Permalink | File Under: Blogging, Dating

Time to fess up. The Summer Not of Love™ didn't even last a full twenty-four hours. What can I say. Apparently I am a whore. However, I am determined to get back on the wagon. Or is it off the wagon? I'm never sure about that one.

So far this weekend has been filled with good food and fun people. Friday I met Adam, Kacy, The Greg, Crazy Amy and Trinity for a lovely Mexican dinner to welcome her cousin, Renee to Phoenix. I brought my Papal Adam Man Purse. It was a big hit with everyone.

Okay...after making this list of everyone's blogs, I have to admit I'm experiencing a bit of URL envy. Maybe it's time for me to make the jump into my own domain instead of kickin' it old skool with my Blog*Spot account.

I spent yesterday morning at the hellish outlet mall in Tempe. I find in a bit frustrating that there is not a Verizon store anywhere near me however that mall has one store and two kiosks. That's a total of THREE merchandisers in ONE crappy mall.

I find shopping a bit frustrating. One good thing to come out of the Rap Industry® is the abundance of stylish clothes for larger gents, however I just can't see myself going to work with FUBU or PHAT FARM embroidered on my chest. Plus there are just some looks, I don't think I — in my middle-aged whiteness — can pull off. I would be such a poser in a G Unit shirt.

Last night, Adam and I went to see Look at Me, the French equivalent of a long, drawn-out episode of thirtysomething. Don't get me wrong. I liked thirtysomething, but I was seriously falling asleep at the beginning of this movie waiting for SOMETHING to happen. Overall, it was a well-acted nice little flick.

So far today, I have skillfully procrastinated not going to the grocery store and the Water & Ice store, both I need to patron desperately. Yesterday I resorted to a lunch of spoonful of peanut butter and a handful of pistachios. I should probably also go to the craft store to make sure I am stocked up with supplies to ensure The Summer Not of Love™ doesn't get off course again.

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Permalink | File Under: Blogging, Dating, Friends, Life

"I like you and am attracted to you, however I don't feel a connection with you."

This is what he said to me after knowing me for just thirty minutes. THIRTY MINUTES. It wasn't even a date. It was just meeting for coffee. A get-to-know you cup of Starbucks. That's all it was.

Little did I know that I should have been putting it ALL out there and ensure there was a connection after just THIRTY FUCKING MINUTES OF CONVERSATION.

I've made a bold decision. No more dating. I've had it. My soul is weary from it. It is exhaustive and futile. The summer's here and the 100+° temperatures make it a good time to retreat indoors and bring a moratorium on meeting anyone new. I'll just remain air-conditioned and cynical. Maybe when the weather cools off — in November — I'll get back on the horse but for now I am suspending all dating and dating-related activities.

I'd say I'd just become a slut and whore around in lieu of dating, but I've done that and it's just a fruitless. And what's the point? Murphy's Law has dictated that when I find a casual relationship that seems to work, that's when the guy decides he wants more. "I don't even know anything about you," he said as I was getting dressed. "Um...isn't that the point?" I thought. Apparently while I was thinking fuck buddy, he was thinking friend with benefits. So not the same thing.

But none of that matters now, because this is going to be the Summer Not of Love™. That's right. I'll say it again. The Summer Not of Love™.

I'll take up a hobby. Plastic bead mosaics or making dreamcatchers or some shit. After all, who needs sex or companionship when you have yarn and popsicle sticks. Maybe scrapbooking. As long as there is glitter and lots of glue. And ric rac. GOLD ric rac. And fuzzy pom-poms.

I'll just spend all summer channeling my unused sexual energy into crafts. That's what most housewives do.

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Permalink | File Under: Dating