For my birthday, my bestest gal pal at work, Mary Mo, gave me Gay Haiku by Joel Derfner (the Author formerly known as Faustus, MD) because for the last few Tuesdays, inspired by Crash, I have declared Tuesdays to be Haikuesdays.

It's been a real hit. So much so that Adam and I communicated only in haikus one afternoon on instant messenger.

Brian: you know what today is?

Adam: tuesday?

Brian: no! haikuesday!

Adam: that news brings me joy
my memory is not good
but now I rejoice

Brian: i saw my doctor
he said i gained weight again
damn chester cheetah!

Adam: adam knows what's best
eating cheetohs makes one fat
must resist their draw

Brian: adam knows nothing
he said cheetos give ass sores
no sores, just big thighs

Adam: I'm drinking ginger
the spicy sweetness bubbles
yummy for my tum

Brian: i watch my clock close
less than one hour to go
tick tock hurry up

Adam: my house reeks of shit
I tried using some incense
but it is too strong

Brian: i blame your tall weeds
they grow quite high and fester
bugs will visit soon

Adam: I need some yard men
they will incarcerate me
I'm too cute for jail

Brian: i will stage a break
and free you from your prison
on the lamb we go

Adam: hire them for me?
I will pay for all the costs
you go do it now

Brian: i have a job dork
although i may get fired
because of I.M.

Adam: do it when you leave
there is not a great hurry
save me, save me now!

Brian: you must face the facts
you live in a big boy house
please don't say F.U.

Adam: I pay my mortgage
I keep the inside cleaned up
you just hire some men

Brian: with what money fool?
i make peanuts at my job
i clip coupons yo!

Adam: I said I will pay
have them send the bill to me
you just schedule it

Brian: i know a lesbian
she is crazy but mows lawns
with her ancient dog

Adam: that doesn't sound good
it will take a lot of work
I will find someone