Me: my fortune cookie says "you will inherit a large sum of money"
Kristin: ROFL
Me: what?
Kristin: ...in bed!!! LOL!!
Me: LMAO
Me: OMG! i totally didn't think of that.
Remember this bitch?
Valentine's Day* Voicemails for Wendy: 2
Valentine's Day Voicemails for Brian: 0
I hate Wendy so hard right now.
*Yeah...I broke my own rule. What of it?
Last night was Roller Derby. Apparently because of some code and inspection problem with the city they were ejected from their usual indoor location by da man. Of course I didn't know that until I got there but I was informed by the lovely and bewitching Sick Girl (I totally dig her bangs.) of the new location.
Now when she told me where it was gonna be, I was all, "Oh yeah, I know where that is." Turns out I didn't and let me tell you something: Union Hills and 40th Street is like a universe away from The Cocoon™ I call home. DAMN far away.
So I shlepped my ass across town. The new location was an outdoor venue, which was kind of fun. It had that high school team spirit kind of feel. Even though it's February and been in the 80s here, I didn't think it would be that cold. Oh...but I was wrong. It was chilly for sure. I was jealous of some people I saw sipping from a flask. They know how to stay warm.
I didn't have a camera with me except my camera-phone so no blurry over Photoshopped pics for you, but I did snap (and screw with) this one of my losing raffle ticket.
Sigh. No Ladmo Bag for Brian.
NEWS FLASH: This just in. Ouiser's getting hitched! Apparently she had the winning ticket! Go wish her congratulations or something.
I've bitched about it before. I'm gonna bitch about it again.
Hell. Even Homer's bitched about it AND coin the the word for it.
People...listen up! There is absolutely NO reason to have casual conversation in the bathroom. NONE whatsoever. Except for maybe when some guy wants to blow you in the bathroom, but that's usually communicated without words.
Today, this dude made small talk with me while I was attempting to pee.
"How's it going?"
I'm trying to pee while you are breathing down my neck. How do you think IT'S going?
But that's not the worst. Not only did this dude try to make small talk with me while I was attempting to pee, but he was doing so with the bathroom door open with the urninal and I in FULL VIEW OF EVERYONE WHO PASSED BY.
Seriously.
The other day I was talking to Homer and I says to the guy, "Have you seen that four things meme going around on The Internet™?"
"Oh gawd. I hate memes," he replied.
Yeah me too, but this thing I've noticed about this one has many high-profile/high-traffic bloggers were doing it. The Dooces. The Mighty Girls. The Powazeks. The Internet Royalty if you will.
These are people who'd rather cut off their own arm than participate in a meme. It's just so common. They probably don't even forward chain emails about Friendship Week or removing your phone number from Google or that one called "Things to do to coworker on vacation" that has pictures of cubicles in aluminum foil, stuffed with packing peanuts, etc.
They certainly don't need the incentive to come up with content. We will still read them no matter what they post. Dooce could post about being constipated for a week during her kid's breast-feeding stage and that her bra smells like yogurt and The Internet™ would have a collective belly laugh.
So I wondered when it would trickle down to the peons of blogging such as myself.
Today, my friends, is that day thanks to this kind gentleman. Hang on to your hats kids. Prepare to be FASCINATED with my mediocrity.
Four jobs I've had
1. Building proctor. This was one of my jobs during college. My job was to sit in a chair in the music building for five hours and watch people walk in and out. That's it. I suppose if something were to go wrong like a fire or terrorist attack, it was my job to do something about. But I'm not sure what, because that never happened. So I'd sit and do homework, practice or pull out a portable TV and watch it. For a minimum wage job, it was pretty sweet.
2. Recital attendance taker. When you are a music student at my college, you were required to attend so many recitals a semester. Pretty much all of them really. It was my job to get to the recital early and take attendance. I would give the student a card and they'd have to return it after the recital was over. Another sweet minimum wage job AND for college credit.
3. Pizza delivery boy. Wrap your fantasies around that one boys.
4. McDonalds lackey. I did this for one summer between college semesters. I never felt so greasy in my entire life.
Four places I've lived
1. Weatherford, Oklahoma
2. Tempe, Arizona
3. Mesa, Arizona
4. Scottsdale, Arizona
Geez. Looking at that list kinda makes me feel sedentary and that it may be time to move again.
Four TV shows you like to watch
HEY! I just noticed there are MORE questions on the one that Dooce did. Is that what this is about? The Internet Royalty gets ALL the questions while we bottom-feeders get the snack-size version? Much like Oprah®, I feel duped. I wanted to list four movies I could watch over and over. I'm gonna break the rules and do that one.
Four movies I can watch over and over
1. Amelie
2. Party Girl
3. Strictly Ballroom
4. 9 to 5
Alright. Back to the other one.
Four TV shows you like to watch
1. Gilmore Girls
2. Lost
3. 24
4. Freaks and Geeks (RIP)
Four sites I visit daily
1. flickr friends
2. Google Reader
3. Merriam-Webster Online
4. My bank's website. I got my mind on my money and my money on my mind.
Four places I'd rather be
Well after seeing the appalling list of the places I've lived, I would say anywhere but here, so here goes.
1. At the Austin City Limits Music Fesitval
2. Browsing CDs at Bleecker Street Records
3. Two Boots Pizza
3. The Bay Area
Four people to tag
1. Homer. Just do it Homey!
2. Mark. I'm sure you've been tagged a zillion times already Shug.
3. Secret Simon
4. Tuna Girl. Whom I'm also sure has been tagged about a zillion times.
Well that was relatively painless. Thanks Greg.
Eventually this blog will be retitled: Shitty Camera Phone Pics of My Cat.
He's hella cute.
I was surprised to find a message waiting on my phone this morning since there wasn't one when I went to bed last night.
I was even more surprised to hear it was a 2 AM booty call.
Unfortunately the message was for Wendy — the previous owner of my cell phone number — not me.
I am sick of getting this bitch's calls.
Not only is Wendy apparently a slut, but she also doesn't pay her bills. I know this because for the first three months I had this number, I received daily phone calls from Cox Communications and various creditors looking for her.
The creditors eventually stopped calling, but now I guess I'll be getting late night booty calls from lonely drunken straight guys.
Maybe there is a silver lining to this.
Hmm.
I wonder if that slut Wendy and I have the same taste in guys.
