I'm thinking about designing a line of business cards people could leave on the windshields of jerks for various transgressions against mankind. Yeah, it's been done before, but I feel like having a good rant today.

Some ideas:

Hey Asshole! Next time you park, consider leaving a bottle of lube so I can fucking squeeze in to get into my car. www.idlube.com

Hey Asshole! This message is from your dog. Thanks for leaving me inside a car with no air-conditioning and the windows rolled up so my brain can fry. PS - I took a dump in your favorite shoes.

Hey Asshole! Traditionally in this country we parking inside the lines. Of one space. Try it next time.

Hey Asshole! You probably noticed the space you parked in said "reserved" but you obviously misunderstood because it's not reserved for you. Hopefully you are reading this in the impound lot where I had you towed.

Hey Asshole! I'm sorry you have such a tiny penis and have to compensate for it by jacking up your vehicle on hydraulic lifts making Barbie's dream ride look ridiculous. PS - You are fooling no one. We all know it's tiny.

I'm open to suggestions. Any ideas?