In honor of Matt Lauer's interview with Britney Spears, we had a very special dinner last night. Taking a cue from that gum-smacking mommy, the theme was decidedly white trash. The menu consisted of pigs-in-a-blanket, tater tots and for desert: cookies and creme flavored Pop Tarts. A feast fit for the king of the trailer park. Of course, now I feel sick. I may be from the land of rednecks, but my stomach sure ain't.

Can someone tell me what was up with her right fake eyelash? It looked like it was coming off and I was totally hypnotized by it thinking, "Why doesn't someone fix that?"