Something awful has happened. It's something just SO terrible it chills me to the bone.

The snowbirds are here.

Yesterday seemed like any other day in the 'burbs. The sun was shining. All was well in The Cocoon. Then, they showed up. En masse. Like within an hour they were all here having migrated from their cooler climates ready to settle in for our mild, balmy winter here in the Valley of the Sun.

Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against the elderly. They have rich stories to tell and history we can learn from. And without them, we wouldn't be here.

But do they ALL have to come here for the winter? I understand the appeal of our winters. Winter here rocks! No snow. Very little cold. I haven't owned a coat since I moved here.

But I and my fellow Arizonans have earned our right to enjoy our winters. We earn it by suffering through each and every blistering, sun-scorched, I-feel-like-my-face-is-melting-off-the-bone summer. We deserve our winters.

But the snowbirds want their cake and eat it too, in their big fat oversized cars, driving down the freeway, going 10 miles an hour, with their left blinker constantly on, sporting their W '04 bumper sticker next to their out-of-state licence plate.

Seriously, yesterday on my way to the Trader Joe's I got stuck behind a snowbird how actually STOPPED at a green light. And just sat there. Stopped. At a green light.

Then at Trader Joe's, this lovely white-haired lady waited until the cashier was scanning her items to ask if they have orange juice, thus holding up the line for what seemed lke enough time for me to be considered geriatric while she retrieved a bottle of it.

Why here? Why not Florida? That's where the Golden Girls were. And don't old people love the Golden Girls? Or is that just gays and lesbians?

It's going to be a long winter.