Five years ago, I was emailing back and forth with a friend of mine from high school, getting reacquainted. I asked about her husband, whom I hadn't met, and she said, "If you want to know more, check out our family's blog."
My response? "What's a blog?"
Five years later, here I am.
I've often questioned, mostly to myself, why I keep maintaining this blog. I often think about closing up shop. But on Monday, I read something that made it very clear to me why I keep blogging.
"What I really want to say is that each of these connections matters. In the same way that those ladies at the post might be my first human contact of the day, I might be theirs too. They remind me that we all matter. Everywhere we go we matter. And that we take that for granted. We think, "Oh, I won't go to the meeting/ the party/ the class. No one will miss me anyway."
But the truth is, we all matter and we are all missed.
Even here, on this blog."
From Superhero Journal
This post really brought it home to me. Over the last five years, I've made some amazing connections with many people. Some have developed into strong friendships. All have had an impact on my life in many ways.
When I was going through the worst of my depression a couple years ago, I shut so many people out. I felt tired and irritable and just wanted to be left alone. I worked from home to avoid seeing my co-workers. I made excuses to not see my friends. Getting through each day felt like a chore. A dull, colorless chore.
And then there was this blog, staring back at me with maybe two banal posts a month about nothing in particular. Nothing about who I was or what I was feeling. I was ready to pull the plug on it permanently and walk away.
And then an unexpected thing happen. New people started reading my blog and commenting. While I had no desire to connect with anyone I actually knew, starting a conversation with a faceless stranger felt safe enough. So emails were exchanged and eventually instant messenger screen names. Slowly, connections were being made.
Meanwhile, my blog roll started to grow. My site traffic went up a bit, but more importantly, new friendships were forming. That — along with lots of time on the couch and some choice pharmaceuticals — set me on a path to recovery...or whatever you want to call it.
There are many people who've touched my life in many ways, but here are a few I'd like to give some mad props.
- Mark for making that first connection all those years ago. Thank you, hon.
- The Zenchick. I learned a lot from this woman. She opened my eyes and heart to a new way of seeing the world. For that, I am very grateful. I wish her well.
- Adam being a good friend, awesome tech support and letting me mercilessly mock him in images and song.
- Dyanna for graciously hosting this website and being as sweet as dulce de leche.
- And finally for Homer, who is smart, funny and makes me laugh every time I talk to him. He is a wonderful guy and a super friend to have.
And to the rest of you...of all the people who read my blog, you are my favorite.
Here's to the next five.
Peace,
Brian
Monday I recieved an email from the 
