Who doesn't love to laugh? Here are five guys who make me smile and LOL on a daily basis.

Recently on his show Cute with Chris, Chris Leavins said among his viewers are thirty-two gay bears. I'd like to think I am responsible for that number.

On February 3, I sent an email to Homer saying, "Watch this." Homer replied, "I'm going to have his baby."

On Tuesday, February 6, Homer posted about the Cute with Chris show and if there is anything we all know about Homer it is this: he is the Oprah of gay bears. He speaks. They listen.

So Chris Leavins, you are welcome for this unique segment of your growing fan-base.

Call me.

In February of 2004, Adam Roberts, The Amateur Gourmet, became wildly popular after only blogging for a month and he did it by simply baking cupcakes. Not just any cupcakes, but Janet Jackson breast cupcakes. Soon Adam was getting tons of traffic and being profiled in the media (CNN and The New Yorker to name two.) but he wasn't resting on the laurels of his boob baking. He was blogging about his experiences at restaurants and adventures in cooking, and doing so with a hilarious sense of humor. (One of my personal faves is his Condoleezza Rice Pudding with Berries of Mass Destruction.) AND he did all this in the beginning while attending law school, which prompted this email exchange.

Years later, Adam is still at it and now making a career of writing about food for sites like Serious Eats and Salon. Later this year, his first book is being released.

But what he's missing is a gay bear fan-base. I'll have to speak to Homer about this.

For a few months, I've been watching VH1's Best Night Ever podcast. In around three minutes they manage to skewer the previous nights tops shows with genius jabs. My three favorite podcasters are fresh-faced and fantastic Brian Faas, sly and clever Michael Cyril Creighton, Alex Blagg who brings cynicism and sarcasm to a level of art.

They are The Shit®. (Three recent clips are after the jump.)

As long as bearded duo Alex and MCC are around, I'm not too worried about their gay bear fan-base.

Call me.

Comments (1)
Permalink | File Under: Lists

Dear Thomas,

Thank you very much for the postcard from Lake Tekapo during your travels through New Zealand touring all the sites those Lord of The Rings movies were shot. While I have no idea what those movies are about (Um...jewelry?), it sure does look lovely there. I know this trip was excellent timing for you to get away, relax and have fun. I hope you had an awesome time.

I must admit, I was a little confused when I flipped the card over to see what I know is NOT your handwriting on the postcard. For a moment, I thought this postcard was meant for my new roommate from one of his friends. However upon closer inspection, I saw that, yes, it actually was addressed to me.

So I read the card to see that one of your fellow travelers, a "Deb", inscribed this card and signed.

This would be the part where I would begin my rant using your full name. However, since I value your privacy, I'll make up a middle and last name for you.

Thomas Ulysses Wallingford! Part of the joy of receiving a postcard from a friend is that the postcard actually be FROM that friend. Not some person he doesn't know named Deb.

I don't know Deb. I'm sure Deb is a lovely person — and I will say she has exquisite penmanship — however, Deb is not my friend. You are.

Also, it was sent to my old address. Not really Deb's fault. Deb doesn't know I moved.

But you do.

Don't worry Thomas. I won't stay mad long. I'm sure in no time we can both have a good laugh about this. A laugh out loud. Or, if you will, a LOL.

Actually in this case, a LOLThomas.

(I had to look it up on Wikipedia, so I could make the caption.)

XXOO,

Brian

Comments (6)
Permalink | File Under: Ranting, Thomas

Comments (4)
Permalink | File Under: Elliott

So it's been about one month with the new roommate and things are going swimmingly. Most of the time I don't even know he's home. He does his thing. I do mine. Although we've known each other for years, there are still lots to learn about each other. One thing I learned immediately after the big silver box of time suckage was installed, is he loves watching The View. LOVES IT!!! A lot. He loves it so much that it's in ALL CAPS WITH THREE WHOLE EXCLAMATION POINTS AFTER IT!!! That, my friends, is a lot of love.

I personally haven't seen much of the view since Lisa Ling was a co-host and when was that? During the Clinton Administration? Seems like a lifetime ago.

Of course I've heard a lot about it, starting with the whole Star Jones business last summer. (I saw a commercial recently that said she'd be guest starring on one of those Law and Order shows. When did that asshat become an actress?)

And of course who hasn't heard about The View since Rosie came on board. This year has been about the "hot topics" and the new roommate LOVES(!!!) him some hot topics.

He's going to wet himself when he watches today's show.

Comments (5)
Permalink | File Under: Life

Tonight Julie came over to watch the Heroes finale. I made baked pasta for dinner. It. Was. Awesome. Both the pasta and the finale.

It's good to see Julie. I miss her.

Comments (5)
Permalink | File Under: Cooking, Friends, Photos

• Today is Tuna Girl's birthday. If you haven't read her blog, you should. She's the bee's knees. Swing on by and wish her a happy birthday.

• Sunday is Kacy's birthday. She also is the bee's knees and this is one of my all-time favorite photos of her.

• My hair looks like total crap. I need a haircut bad.

• What kind of sick world do we live in where Veronica Mars is cancelled and something as stupid as Farmer Takes A Wife (which by the way, even the president of The CW couldn't say the name of the show with a straight face!) is put on the schedule? Madness.

• I hate television ranting. So sorry.

• Michael Penn writes deliciously melancholy music. I am obsessed with his song Walter Reed.

• I'm also obsessed with The Consumerist. What a frickin' great blog!

Comments (4)
Permalink | File Under: Lists

This pretty much sums up my Sunday.

Comments (5)
Permalink | File Under: Elliott

I told CB we'd kick their ass. And we did.

It was an awesome game. Both teams played well and for most of it the Carolina Roller Girls were in the lead but during the third period, the Tent City Terrors kicked it up a notch, thus kicking some ass.

Make clicky here to see more photos from the bout.

Comments (2)
Permalink | File Under: Roller Derby

I loves me some dollar stores. Sure they have limited stock of things that actually have a use and don't get me started on the food they sell (ew!) but you can usually find interesting kitschy stuff as well as a few of the basics. And hey...it's a DOLLAR.

A Dollar Tree opened up next to the pet store near where I live. After buying Elliott's food (and an endless internal debate of, "Should I buy him treats when I know he'll never eat them all?") I popped over to see what the grand opening had to offer. Ten bucks later I had a bagful of stuff I could actually use.

Have you tried Goo Gone? It's the shit! And this tiny bottle will last me forever. I've had the same large bottle for years and there's still some left. I left it with Julie and Jason when I moved out.

And guess what...it was a DOLLAR!

Those drawer organizer? Perfect for the utensil drawer in the kitchen. And the were each a DOLLAR!

Bubble mailers for possibly mailing bloggers who want a little something something. (Yes. I still have a zillion stamps.) And the best part? They were only a DOLLAR! And maybe I'll write a note on my cutesy notepad that was...wait for it...wait for it...ONE DOLLAR!

I love love love these foil sheets. The fit the toaster oven very nicely. And...say it with me...it was only a DOLLAR!

The starch is for my many plaid shirts. I realized when packing and sorting my closet that I tend to wear plaid shirts as a uniform now. I have a ton of them. I'm not sure when this started, but me thinks I need to go shopping for some variety soon.

Only, not at the dollar store. I do have some limits.

PS - The starch was a DOLLAR too!

Comments (4)
Permalink | File Under: Raving

My sleeping has been all off this week. I hate that. If it gets off one day, I'm screwed for the rest of the week. As a result, I'm slightly more irritable that usual. Might as well take advantage of the ire and put some people on notice.

• I'm tired of random people on Flickr I don't know wanting me to add my photos to some random pool. They are always some bizarrely obscure topic. I mean seriously...does there really need to be a "Food from Trader Joe's" pool?

• Hey! Maury the Old Jewish Guy at Starbucks! Button up your effin' shirt. I'm pretty sure there is a health code about your dyed chest hair being exposed around the lattes and scones.

• I hate when fortunes from fortune cookies aren't fortunes. "Your mentality is practical and alert," is NOT a fortune, damnit.

• Why do some people approach an elevator that you are waiting for and push the button that is already lit? Not only do they push the button, they push it several times in quick succession. As if the elevator will now come faster. Dork.

Rant over. What's getting on your nerves today?

Comments (5)
Permalink | File Under: Ranting

I had cable television once maybe 12 or 13 years ago. The service came with maybe 20-25 channels and it cost I think about $30 per month at the time. I canceled the service after a few months. It was an unnecessary expense and always seems like such a collasal waste of both money and time.

As a result, I watch little television. The few show I do watch are on network television and since moving to Phoenix, I was able to watch them just fine without any service. For the nine years Julie and lived together, we never once wanted cable.

So when I asked the new roommate to rent a house with me, it never occurred to me he may want cable television. And not just any cable, but digital cable. WITH a digital recorder.

The frugal part of my brain has been screaming at me since placing the order. They installed everything last week and I already find myself sitting in front of the TV much more, mainly because I'm trying to figure out how to work the remote control.

Today I got the bill. Upon reading the bill, the frugal part of my brain's hair turned white and he had to steady himself by holding the back of a chair before falling down, buckling over and wailing in pain.

I realize this is one of those roommate compromises that I just have to suck up and I'm perfectly willing to do that. I mean it is pretty cool to be able to record both 24 and Heroes at the same time. But I'm afraid the effects of having the greatest distraction and brain rotter of all time are already taking a toll on me.

Sunday night, while folding laundry, I watched an E! True Hollywood Story.

Featuring.

Kelly Ripa.

From BEGINNING to END!

I am so disgusted with myself.

Comments (8)
Permalink | File Under: Ranting

Tonight I attended the Diamondbacks game with my friend St. John. We sat so close in left field, I could smell the dirt.

They played the Mets.

The Dbacks lost.

Don't ask me what's up with St. John's hat.

Goes well with baseball.

See other photos by making clicky here.

Comments (2)
Permalink | File Under: Life, Photos

• Lettuce wraps are probably a bit too messy to be eaten at my desk.

• The only time the word fabulous doesn't grate on my nerves is when the Orbit spokeswoman says it.

• "What the french, toast?" is my new favorite thing to say.

• I don't even make waffles, yet I so want one of these.

Comments (5)
Permalink | File Under: Lists

It's been ages since I was tagged with a meme, however a rat bastard lovely fellow named Frank has done just that.

Here's how it goes. List ten random yet interesting facts about my life and tag ten other bloggers at the end of the post.

The random part sounds simple enough, however the interesting part is highly debatable. But here goes.

• When I was younger, I had a few instances of what I guess I would call clairvoyant or psychic dreams. For example, one Friday during college, I was taking a nap and dreamt I was at a big party at my mother's church and there I saw a lady from my hometown who had cancer. In my dream she was wearing a wig made of white feathers. She was only in the dream for a couple seconds, but I remember thinking later it was odd to dream of her because I didn't really even know her nor ever saw her much. A few days later, while talking to my mother, she mentioned that woman died that same afternoon I dreamt of her. It's been many years since I've had any dreams like that. I sometimes miss them.

• For two years, I worked an overnight job. During that time I became obsessed with soap operas. I watched five. (FIVE!) I read soap opera magazines. It knew everything there was to know about every single show. I knew the names of producers and writers. It was THAT bad. It really was a sickness. I've since gotten help.

• When I was a child, I fantasized that The Captain and Tennille were my real parents. I'd daydream that one day they'd find me and I'd go on tour with them. I rationalized that if The Captain and Tennille gave my parents their dogs, then my parents wouldn't be sad that I left them.

• In college, I took a class called Instrumentation. The final project for this class was something of legend about how difficult and time consuming it was. It was something all music students dreaded. I received an A on my final project with a note from the instructor saying he had never given an A on a final project before. Although I'm sure he's given A's since then, I'm still kind of proud to be the first.

• Today, I had digital cable installed. I've never wanted cable, but the new roommate wants it, so I will bend. I remember when we got cable television when I was a kid - A MILLION YEARS AGO. We got Showtime. I think I must have seen Smokey and The Bandit a hundred times or more. I had the movie memorized.

• I moved to Arizona sight unseen. I don't think I'd ever do that again.

• I listened to two CDs during my trip to Arizona. Live's Throwing Copper and The Refreshment's Fizzy Fuzzy Big & Buzzy. Other than that I listened to my cat in the back seat freaking out and meowing non-stop despite being drugged up.

• I've lived in Arizona for ten years and lately I've been giving casual thought to moving. I don't feel like my home is here. I'm not sure it's anywhere else, but I think I'd like to find out if it might be. (These failed a being interesting a few bullets ago.) I'm thinking I need to explore Northern California, Portland and Seattle sometime soon.

• When I was a boy, I visited my maternal grandmother I rarely saw. After dinner at a restaurant, I ate a piece of carrot cake. She asked if I like it and I told her I did. From that point on, carrot cake was my favorite cake according to her. The few other times I saw her, she always made a carrot cake. I never had the heart to tell her it wasn't my favorite.

• I don't have any memories of my life before age five. I'm not really sure why that is.

And the lucky tagged ones are: Homer, Patrick, Alden, Sandy, CB, Kyle, Wayne, Curtis and the lovely ladies, Geggie & Mzouiser.

Comments (5)
Permalink | File Under: Blogging

Comments (4)
Permalink | File Under: Elliott, Photos