Thomas, who is waist deep in books and papers while studying for his PhD comprehensive exams, asks:

How would you characterise the current treatment of ambiguity in identity studies? What are the communicative implications for this treatment?

I have no idea, but maybe you can tell me what the communicative implications of this YouTube video are.

The lovely Geggie wants to know...

How did Elliott find you?

I found Elliott at work over thirteen years ago. I worked in a garden center and when I moved a pallet of lawn mowers, there was Elliott, his mama and his two siblings. I held Elliott in the palm of my hand and that was that. He had me at "meow."

Alden asks:

Sink, swim or float?

I'd like to say swim, but I know how lazy I am so float seems more realistic.

Of course, Daniel can't just ask ONE question but asks me a zillion ones. He's a demanding beyotch like that. *air kisses*

I think I'll just answer the main one.

I wanna know, or have the archive link to, your full 'coming out' chronicles.

Well, I blogged a bit about this last year on National Coming Out Day. What I can add to that is I was a bit of a late bloomer with coming out. I didn't come out until after college. The first person I came out to was myself really. I was sitting in a chair, alone in a room and I just spoke the words out loud, "I'm gay." Months later I came out to a friend of mine. She responded, "Well, why didn't you just say so?"

Kyle wants to know...

will you be my slave?

Kyle. I want to make sure you pay attention and understand my answer. Are you ready?

No.

Next, he asks:

wouldn't you agree that parker is the hottest thing running when it comes to felines?

Looking through your blog, I only find ONE picture of Parker. And she's hiding behind a curtain. This suggests to me she's not that hot.

Elliott on the other hand, is smokin'.

Thanks to everyone for your questions, your comments and for reading my posts all month during this NaBloPoMo madness. It was fun.

Comments (3)
Permalink | File Under: Sharing

Yesterday, I did some shopping for work. I gotta tell ya, spending someone else's money is awesome fun. With my own money, I have to be a total Ebenezer otherwise trivial things like electricity don't get paid. Or worse yet, my pantry full of green salsa goes frighteningly under-stocked. And that, my friends, would be very, VERY bad.

After dropping $1000 on electronics, I found myself positively euphoric. There really is an endorphin rush associated with shopping! On my way back to the office, I ran into CVS to pick up a couple things. As I left, a man asked me if I had any spare change because he needed some seizure medication. By seizure medication, I'm pretty sure he meant "booze because I have the shakes."

Still riding the wave of my shopping high, I gave him $5. Happy holidays. Have some store-brand whiskey on me.

For my last post for NaBloPoMo, I'm going to need your help. Yes, YOU!

In the comments, post a question you'd like me to answer. Sounds like one of those lame memes, doesn't it? It is and I don't care! My poor little brain is tired. I think I blogged more this month than I did all summer.

So go ahead. Ask away.

UPDATE: Thanks for your questions. Comments are now closed.

Comments (6)
Permalink | File Under: Life

Last night, I had dinner with my friend Autumn. She just returned to the states after living in Japan for almost four years. I've missed her bright smile and her company. We had a fantastic dinner. It was great catching up. Autumn's one of those people who are just so real. What you see, is what you get. She's warm, smart, funny and did I mention her smile?

I just realized there are only TWO more days of this awful totally fun month left. I'm wondering if I should do something special or different to end the month with a bang, or something. Hrm. But what could I do?

Any thoughts?

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Permalink | File Under: Friends

Every once in a while, someone will ask me why Thomas and I aren't dating. Usually this comes from a straight person. For some reason some straight people think the only thing two gay men need to be a couple is to be gay. Once a coworker told me her roommate wanted to set me up with someone she works with.

Co-Worker: She says you two are perfect for each other.
Me: I haven't even met her. How would she know?
Co-Worker: Well, she's heard me talk about you.
Me: And what about this guy makes him so perfect for me?
Co-Worker: Well... he's gay.
Me: I'll pick out the china pattern immediately.

It's funny how they never apply those terms to other straight people. You're a guy and she's a girl. Isn't that enough? For their own, they know it takes common interests, attraction and lots of other stuff.

But Thomas and I get along famously. So why is it we aren't boyfriends? Simple. There are two main reasons.

Reason One: I am not Matt Damon.

If I were Matt Damon, I would probably be blissfully in love with Thomas, have a restraining order against him or be locked in his basement. It could really go any way.

Reason Two: Thomas is not a masochist.

If Thomas and I were dating, a typical conversation would go like this.

Me: What are you wearing?
Thomas: What? It's a vest.
Me: You look like Tyne Daly.
Thomas: It's very warm. I got it at the Renaissance Festival.
Me: Oh. My. God! Where's my camera? I need to blog about this!

End scene.

Thomas gets enough abuse from me as it is. I'm not sure he could handle it 24/7.

PS - I'm putting the banner up a few days early to ring in the holidays. You may need to bypass your cache to see the changes and not see it all wonky-looking.

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Permalink | File Under: Banners, Thomas

Take a look at this sweater.

It's a nice sweater...yes? But there is one slight problem with it.

It's brown. I'm not really a brown guy. But what's a guy to do?

I know!

I'll use some Puntabulous Spray!

*cough* *cough* *cough*

That's better! Goes much better with my eyes.

Craig is a part of the Gay Bloggies. You should vote thumbs up for him. And better yet, vote thumbs down for the other guys. Except Dan Renzi who totally cracks me up.

Comments (9)
Permalink | File Under: LOL

Comments (0)
Permalink | File Under: Elliott, Friends, Life, Photos

We came. We saw. We ate.

A lot.

And as always, a bitch's corn casserole was a huge hit. Good stuff, yo.

Comments (2)
Permalink | File Under: Photos

At the dinner table on Thanksgiving

Kristin's Mom: Well, I just had my 40th year high school reunion.
Roddy: Really? Who was there?
Thomas: Moses...

Pictures of Gluttony Fest 2007 will be posted this weekend.

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Permalink | File Under: LOL

From everyone's favorite can of hearts of palm.

The can of hearts of palm also would like you to take a moment to read this. It's good reading for today.

Comments (3)
Permalink | File Under: Photos

I was looking for a notebook I kept thoughts, ideas and doodles over a decade ago. I remember writing lists of things I was grateful for and thought it might be fun looking at them before Thanksgiving tomorrow. I still haven't found it but I did find a journal I kept for a few years when I first moved to Arizona. Flipping through it I ran across this passage.

April 14, 2001

I bought a guitar today. It's a cheap one but it'll do fine. Playing's been sort of like riding a bike. It's all coming back to me. It's a good feeling.

I've been thinking a lot about gratitude lately with the holiday approaching. Of course I'm grateful for the big stuff: loved ones, roof over head, food in my belly, job doing something I love, etc. But what really stands out to me are the little things that punctuate my day-to-day life that make me smile, laugh or touch me. The morning sky. The taste of root beer. Seeing a little old lady in the grocery store smile. Laughter. Even having a cheap, blue guitar to play, just because it feels good.

I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving tomorrow. Or just a great Thursday, depending on where you live.

Comments (1)
Permalink | File Under: Life, Nostalgia

The exterminator came today and doused my entire home with "perfectly safe" fresh linen scented chemicals. After examining my bed and mattress, he said it's unlikely I have bed bugs, but probably some other insect was FEASTING ON MY BLOOD WHILE I SLEPT.

He asked if I was bitten any more and I owned up that I've been too chicken since I first noticed the bites and have been sleeping on the sofa, which is apparently a huge no-no if you actually do have bed bugs. But I didn't care because every time I got into bed, I could feel my skin crawl and could never fall asleep in anticipation of becoming something's midnight snack.

But now I have the reassurance of a hunky exterminator with a meaty handshake (Hello Sailor!) and a bed soaked in DDT or Raid or whatever, so I'm sure I'll sleep like a baby tonight.

Comments (7)
Permalink | File Under: Life

It was bound to happen sooner or later this month. I'm too exhausted to blog properly this evening. My eyes are heavy and I'm dragging myself to bed soon.

But before I publish this pitiful excuse of a post, I want to share this awesome video of Duran Duran shot at a concert a couple weeks ago. I've been watching it over and over.

I love that they don't try to un-80s themselves in any way. Leather suits + techo background + little drum machine = like totally rad.

And a bonus is that Nick Rhodes actually cracks a smile.

Also, John Taylor is still hot.

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Permalink | File Under: Music

During this whole NaBloPoMo (also known as NaDaCoMeInDoThsPoEvDaFoMoMo) thing, I've noticed that while my traffic has relatively remained the same, I'm getting hits from new sites and comments from new people.

Awesome! I love new peeps. But it makes me wonder, who the heck are you?

If you are inclined to oblige me, feel free to fill out this form below in the comments.

Name:
Location:
Age:
Sex:
How Long Have You Been Reading cheap blue guitar?:
How Did You Get Here?:
Favorite Thanksgiving Food:
What Are You Thankful For?:

Thanks!

Comments (14)
Permalink | File Under: Blogging

First I wanted to tell you my fortune from tonight's cookie. It's the best fortune that goes with "in bed" I've ever received.

Good things are being said about you.

I wish.

For a while now, Friday nights have been reserved for Thomas. We have dinner, go get Cold Stone Creamery ice cream,
take it back to his place and discuss the finer points and challenges of the single gay man in the Phoenix metro area. We call it Misery Loves Company Night.

While eating a sensible dinner at Sweet Tomatoes, I noticed several super well-behaved, adorable children dining around us. I pointed out one little boy to Thomas and told him that occasionally, I'll see a kid and I think for a moment that I want one.

Me: When I see a kid like that, it makes my uterus ache.
Thomas: Um. You don't have a uterus... to my knowledge.
Me: My imaginary uterus.
Thomas: Your man uterus?
Me: Yes. My muterus.

Reality check: I know that kids are not in the cards for me. I have enough trouble taking care of myself, let alone a kid. Hell, I stress about having a cat sometimes. And a plant! So, this little branch on my family tree will end with me. But I will admit, there are times I feel the nurturer in me wanting to build some kind of family.

And then the next day I'm reminded why it's not such a good idea. Like this morning when I went get my hair buzzed and there was this little boy getting a haircut. OMG you'd think he was being tortured to death with all the screaming and the crying.

After I left, I called Thomas and left him a message: "The muterus is permanently closed."

Comments (3)
Permalink | File Under: Life, Thomas

Oh hell.

Um, didn't I like do this one already?

Luckily, it's still National Daniel Coerced Me Into Doing This Posting Every Day For A Month Month, so I'm hungry for a new blogging topic.

So off we go into the sea of seven random and/or weird facts about yours truly.

• On at least three separate occasions, I've seen a guy in a wheelchair and thought, "Oh, he's hot." I'm beginning to wonder if it's the wheelchair.


• I often dream that I'm disappointing my high school band director in some way. Usually by not being where I'm supposed to be or being late.


• My most annoying habit is chewing ice cubes. I probably need to stop this for the sake of my teeth.


• The first time I got really drunk was my freshman year during college, while visiting a dry county in Texas on Matilda Bay wine coolers, a hella lot of beer and some concoction called Hurricane. I never really drank much in college. Or now for that matter.


• Why yes, I have eaten frog legs before.


• Yesterday I noticed on the Urban Outfitters website, they had a graphic that read, "Shop Bag's." I sent them the following feedback: "Every time you use an apostrophe to pluralize, God kills a kitten." While I have yet to receive a reply, I did notice they updated the graphic a couple hours later.


• I once made chicken nachos using Cheetos instead of tortilla chips. Don't judge.

• Daniel "Peaches" Phillip, because misery loves company and he owes me. Big time.


• The creature who hits things, Brian.


• A guy named Dave.


• Super Mario, er.. I mean Adam.


• I'd love any of the BFFs at fred flare to do it, but I know they are super busy this time of year. (That doesn't get you off the hook Daniel.)


• Does Puntabulous do memes? I have no idea. (Update: Duh Brian. The post you commented on was him doing it. D'oh!)


• And this one's for the ladies:. Marie B. of decadently.net

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Permalink | File Under: Blogging

I must have had a wild night last night, because I woke up this morning with a stranger in my bed and marks on my body.

Wanna see his picture?

Click here to see how cute he is.

OH MY FUCKING GOD I HAVE BED BUGS!!!

Yesterday at work, I noticed I was scratching my elbows. I looked at them and I had what looked like mosquito bites. I wondered where I go them and then I remember this picture from Aaron's Flickr.

I came home and looked around for any signs of them. Turns out they are very hard to track down.

This morning I woke up with welts on my waistline. I checked some more and found one teeny, tiny bug, who apparently died of gluttony after FEASTING ON MY BLOOD.

Icky!

Let's hope the exterminator is hot.

Comments (5)
Permalink | File Under: Life

Every time I listen to this song, I giggle like a little girl.

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Permalink | File Under: LOL

Teacher's notes from first quarter.

Brian is maturing every day. We need to work on better study habits and not visiting with neighbors.

I'm developing my social skills. Lay off me.

Teacher's notes from second quarter.

Brian isn't always the last one now.

Bitch. She actually underlined the word last.

Teacher's notes from third quarter.

Brian has been wasting time lately.

And your point?

Comments (7)
Permalink | File Under: Nostalgia

It's time for another 12 of 12, yo.

08:01

I didn't feel like cooking this morning, so I stopped at Einstein Brothers for a bagel. Then at AJ's for an iced tea. I brought my giant tackle box o' vitamins to take with my breakfast. Very important to take them with food. That's a lesson you only need to learn once.

08:39

I had some very important design work to do this morning adding Cute With Chris style laser-eyes animation to a photo I saw on my friend's Flickr stream. Laser eyes make it all better.

09:47

Time for a refill. Brewing some tea to pour over ice. I LOVE having an ice machine at work.

After that I checked on...

09:48

...my not-so-secret stash of food. I brought in some cocoa for time when I don't want to use the coffee bot.

12:16

I had lunch today with my friend Rebecca. We used to work together at the Monster Bank. We haven't seen each other for a couple years. Isn't she just the cutest? It was great seeing her.

14:19

Making my shopping list in my ultra manly pink notebook. Notice I wrote down "eggs" and "egg stuff," when what I mean to write ONCE was "Egg Beaters type egg substitute." Concerned about cholesterol AND senility. Getting older is fun!

16:12

Catching up on some very important reading at work.

17:41

My after work errands. I love Trader Joe's but there's not one near the ghetto I live, so I go to the one near my work.

18:24

I had a wicked headache after work. So bad, I couldn't take a non-blurry photo of my hand.

18:28

Because of my headache, I didn't feel like cooking, so I got an easy to microwave meal at Trader Joe's. I love this vegan Kung Pao noodles dish. It only takes two minutes to heat in the microwave and it's delicious. But like most things, I like to add a little sumptin sumptin to it to make it even better. I now share my secret ingredient to make Trader Ming's vegan Kung Pao Noodles & Sauce better.

18:29

Grilled chicken strips.

18:51

The last bucket of cat liter I bought had some free cat treats inside. Elliott normally refuses to eat cat treats but for the last several nights, he's been consistently interested in them. It's very odd to me when my cat decides to act like a cat.

Bonus: Grateful

I am grateful for the opportunity to reconnect with old friends.

Comments (10)
Permalink | File Under: 12 of 12

My father was a veteran. He was in the Vietnam War. The thing was, while he talking about being in the army from time to time, he seldom talked about the war. In fact, I don't remember him saying much of anything about it ever.

When VCRs became more commonplace, my grandparents bought one and started a membership with the only local video store in town. One of the most popular movies out at the time was Oliver Stone's Platoon. My grandparents and aunts and uncles all watched it several times one weekend.

My father couldn't get through the first fifteen minutes.

This Veteran's Day, I think about my father and all the other men and women who have and are putting their lives on the line for this country. The sacrifices they make are immeasurable.

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Permalink | File Under: Thinking

I met John tonight and introduced him to the culinary delight that is Chino Bandido. In return he showed me his iPhone and I tried my best not to lick it in lust.

That's not a euphemism. I may have to get over my hate of AT&T for one of those bad boys.

I decided to try new things off the menu since I tend to order the same thing each time I go. I ordered the Chile Relleno which they describe as a fresh Anaheim chile stuffed with two kinds of cheese, crispy breaded exterior. Those two kinds of cheese are Cheese Whiz and Cheez-Its for the crispy, breaded exterior.

It was still nummy.

John is funny and cool and has an infectious smile. And he gets bonus points for wearing Chuck Taylors. We chat about bloggers, bears, Macs, food and Anthony Bourdain. And really — when you think about it — what else is there after that?

Comments (3)
Permalink | File Under: Life

This posting every day thing is for the birds. Srsly. I don't know how some bloggers do it. It's not that I don't have anything to say every day. It's that I don't want to say something every day.

Like today.

Today wasn't anything special. Went to work. Came home and watch old episodes of ANTM on MTV while I ate chicken and hummus. First thought: what is with that judging panel? I look forward to seeing smug Nigel Barker's hot bald head every week. All I kept doing was staring at that Baby Phat lady and trying to remember where I'd seen her before. (Beauty Shop!)

For most of the day, I was a Crankmeister 5000®. I snapped at a couple people at work and then promptly apologized. But apparently I'm not THAT nasty when I'm in full crank mode. One coworker said, "your cranky is some people's pleasant."

So take that.

Nine down. Twenty-one to go.

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Permalink | File Under: Life

Last night, I took a couple benadryls because I was feeling a tad allergy-ridden during my still-not-feeling-100% phase.

You know, there was a time when I could operate heavy-machinery just fine on allergy medicine. Bring on the power tools, boys! Papa's on a diphenhydramine high!

But those days are long gone. That shit hits me hard now. Hell, I can barely blog when I'm doped up.

And when I do fall asleep, I sleep like a ton of bricks on a log. I sleep hard and deep (dirteh!) and fall asleep fast... the second my head hits the pillow.

It's the waking up part that's more difficult. I feel groggy and sluggish. It's hard to move, but when I get moving, I eventually feel well rested.

But now for the definition of sad.

The very FIRST THOUGHT I had this morning, when I woke up was:

"At 10 PM, I can go back to bed."

Pitiful.

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Permalink | File Under: Life

Lately, I've been reconnecting a with lot of old friends via MySpace, Facebook and LinkedIn. Friends from college, past co-workers and old blog buds. It's been kind of nice getting back in touch with them. It's funny how we just sometimes lose touch with people. Our lives get busy. We forget to return a phone call. Rescheduling plans never happens. Time just slips by.

Okay, the benadryl is kicking in now. Time to wrap this up.

So I ask you this question, who if anyone would you like to reconnect with?

Comments (4)
Permalink | File Under: Friends, Sharing

Okay, let's get one thing straight. Someone is exaggerating just a wee bit the length of the security code for leaving comments on this blog. No big surprise there. Must be all the Britney Spears he listens too. Although that's forgivable. At least it's not Kylie. *spits*

Is it wrong that Daniel and I are hot for HotForWords?

And yes, we really do IM like fourth graders. Srsly.

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Permalink | File Under: Chats

All hail the healing powers of liquoring up when you are sick. I feel like a new man. I still sound like crap, but nothing a few more shots of cheap brandy won't cure.

I spent the day doing tons of laundry and clearing out the DVR. Is anyone else as bored with Heroes as I am? Yes Claire, we know you can regenerate. We watched you ooh and aah about it all last season. Stop flinging yourself onto the concrete and actually do something please.

And WHEN is someone going to kill Mohinder? Please. He mohinders my ability to enjoy this program.

And take out Ando while your at it. Clearly, the actor who plays him learned his craft from this guy.

And OMG when did I become someone who blogs about television?

Oh yeah.

I think Cobban has the right idea. Kill your TV.

PS - I've added an archive for the banners. You can find it in the footer links.

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Permalink | File Under: Life, Ranting, Raving

"Your voice sounds like a garbage disposal." — Korina

Actually, that's the best description I've heard so far. My voice has a lovely death rattle/gargling quality usually akin to a two pack-a-day smoker after he's swallowed a pound of wet, fine gravel.

It's times like these when I really should do a podcast.

My weekend has pretty much been a bust and filled with sleeping, napping and — oh yeah... more sleeping. I've been in a Nyquil-induced coma pretty much since I came home Friday. So much that even Elliott's said, "Um, hey man. Shouldn't you like get up and do something this weekend?"

That something, of course, was feed him.

I'm missing the All Souls Procession with Homer. I'm a bit bummed out about that — I love the All Souls Procession — but I just don't have the energy. I'll celebrate the dead in my own way.

By taking a nap.

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Permalink | File Under: Life

Dear E & J Brandy,

Your love is like bad medicine.

Bad medicine is what I need.

Me love you long time,
Brian

Comments (3)
Permalink | File Under: Photos

Truer words have never been spoken.

I woke up this morning with the feeling of an acid drip in my throat. My only saving grace was when I shower, I don't have my glasses on so everything is a blur, so I couldn't see the detail of the goop I was coughing up.

But I could make out the color through the haze.

It. Was. Nasty.

I'm sipping a very potent hot toddy right now, waiting for Thomas to bring me some comfort food. And I'll admit it, I'm a bit tipsy as I write this.

Lots of brandy and meat pie. What else could I ask for?

*hic*

Comments (4)
Permalink | File Under: Life

Daniel has requested that I join him for something called National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo), the bastard cousin of National Novel Writing Month. The goal is to do one post every day during the month of November.

Apparently Daniel hasn't noticed I'm a more of a casual blogger. And by casual, I mean lazy.

Normally a request to participate in something like this would have been met with a stern "Hell no!" But Daniel's a nice guy and he caught me during a weak moment resulting from a Halloween cupcake sugar crash.

Plus, he offered sexual favors.

If you feel so inclined to join us, please do so. Also, if you have a blog that dare not speak its name, feel free to join us in the Gay Boy Bloggers group where we will pontificate such topical subjects like, "Kylie Minogue: Lounge Act or Poor Man's Madonna?"

Discuss.

PS - New month. New banner. You may need to bypass your cache to see the changes.

Comments (6)
Permalink | File Under: Banners, Blogging