First I wanted to tell you my fortune from tonight's cookie. It's the best fortune that goes with "in bed" I've ever received.

Good things are being said about you.

I wish.

For a while now, Friday nights have been reserved for Thomas. We have dinner, go get Cold Stone Creamery ice cream,
take it back to his place and discuss the finer points and challenges of the single gay man in the Phoenix metro area. We call it Misery Loves Company Night.

While eating a sensible dinner at Sweet Tomatoes, I noticed several super well-behaved, adorable children dining around us. I pointed out one little boy to Thomas and told him that occasionally, I'll see a kid and I think for a moment that I want one.

Me: When I see a kid like that, it makes my uterus ache.
Thomas: Um. You don't have a uterus... to my knowledge.
Me: My imaginary uterus.
Thomas: Your man uterus?
Me: Yes. My muterus.

Reality check: I know that kids are not in the cards for me. I have enough trouble taking care of myself, let alone a kid. Hell, I stress about having a cat sometimes. And a plant! So, this little branch on my family tree will end with me. But I will admit, there are times I feel the nurturer in me wanting to build some kind of family.

And then the next day I'm reminded why it's not such a good idea. Like this morning when I went get my hair buzzed and there was this little boy getting a haircut. OMG you'd think he was being tortured to death with all the screaming and the crying.

After I left, I called Thomas and left him a message: "The muterus is permanently closed."