What Reassurance Smells Like
The exterminator came today and doused my entire home with "perfectly safe" fresh linen scented chemicals. After examining my bed and mattress, he said it's unlikely I have bed bugs, but probably some other insect was FEASTING ON MY BLOOD WHILE I SLEPT.
He asked if I was bitten any more and I owned up that I've been too chicken since I first noticed the bites and have been sleeping on the sofa, which is apparently a huge no-no if you actually do have bed bugs. But I didn't care because every time I got into bed, I could feel my skin crawl and could never fall asleep in anticipation of becoming something's midnight snack.
But now I have the reassurance of a hunky exterminator with a meaty handshake (Hello Sailor!) and a bed soaked in DDT or Raid or whatever, so I'm sure I'll sleep like a baby tonight.
Comments
if i were you, i would make an emergency call in the middle of the night to the hunky exterminator and ask him to stay the night because you suffer from arachnophobia.
or you could just give him a roofie. whatever comes easier. (hehehe! double-entendre by accident)
Posted by: danny/ink2metal | November 20, 2007 08:27 PM
So, what OTHER insect could have been feasting on you while you slept?!?
Posted by: nobugs | November 20, 2007 11:36 PM
I so know what it's like not being able to fall asleep fearing the bugs... I have slept with bed bugs for six months before actually realizing that I had those nasty bugs in my bed. They're so gross, and mean. Good for you you don't have any. There's a pretty good way to find out if your bites are bed bug bites though : they mainly bite your arms and hands, they bite multiple times at the same spot, and washing the bites with hot water makes it less itchy. Good luck with the extermination :)
Posted by: Thomas B. | November 21, 2007 01:44 AM
ugh! if it is bed bugs I do feel for you. We had them in our apartment a while back. My luggage picked them up in a dodgy hostel.
It was horrible! I had huge bites all over my arms and legs. My husband was bitten but didn't have a reaction to them at all.
We had an exterminator in but I'm not sure if we got rid of them. We moved out a month after we got them and dumped the bed at the tip.
Goodluck!
Posted by: jess | November 21, 2007 04:12 AM
eeew! I'm so sorry. I hope the treatment works!
I'm glad you opted for the DDT. I read that it works to soak your bed in it, because the pesticide is then absorbed into your bloodstream and your brain while you sleep. This has the dual effect of making your blood taste nasty so the bugs won't want to bite you, and deadening your nerve endings so you won't feel their bites anyway.
Posted by: Brian | November 21, 2007 07:47 AM
Our bug exterminator (Tony!) is hunky too! What's up with that? It's like, I don't want bugs but I want him to come over but I don't want the bugs but, oh, he's so cute...
Posted by: Cobban | November 21, 2007 08:37 AM
Face it Brian, you are just delicious.
Posted by: homer | November 21, 2007 11:22 AM