When I sit down to write lately, my writing is either full of anger or maudlin pathos. Mostly, because that's what I've been feeling for a while: pissed, worn out and melancholy.

I know one shouldn't stifle those feelings and trust me when I tell you, there ain't nothing stifled about me lately. People know I'm going through some shit. It shows. And I also know there is a relief to letting it out, even on a blog. But right now, I don't want to be that guy. (Not that that's stopped me before.)

And really... who wants to read that kind of crap any way?

So instead I've been going through an exercise today. Today is about focusing on those moments that pull me away from that cluttered, noisy room. The moments I see light from the outside, breaking in through the dirty windows.

It can be a song on my iPod so compelling that makes me stop and listen. The combination of the warm sun and cool breeze on my skin as I walk outside. A smile from a stranger. Watching my cat sleep.

Rosie O'Donnell calls it yellow. Until today, I never understood what she meant by it. But now I get it.

When I find myself in those moments, I stop and relish it. Submerse myself in it. Let it work its mojo on me.

And for that moment, I'm no longer tired. No longer angry. No longer sad.

Comments (5)
Permalink | File Under: Depression, Drawings, Life, Sharing

What's amazing to me about this story, is that people actually STILL WATCH Leno.

Seriously? I don't get it. When has he ever been funny?

Probably the people who find Leno funny are the same ones who don't see the horror in a story like this one.

A movement has grown from Jeff Whitty's open letter to Leno (And do yourself a favor. Click on all the red links that say "this gay look," because THAT'S what this is all about) and people around the world are showing Leno their gayest looks.

Here's mine.

Comments (4)
Permalink | File Under: Ranting

The lovely Miss Geggie has bestowed me an E for Excellent award.

Thank you Geggie. I'm very honored you rate me excellent.

I would be thrilled if you gave me a M for Mediocre, since I always aim for that bar kinda low.

Sidenote: Is anyone else disturbed by the fact the award looks suspiciously like the Enron logo?

But look! Apparently this award comes with a task.

By accepting this Excellent Blog Award, you agree to award it to ten more people whose blogs you find Excellent Award worthy. You can give it to as many people as you want but please award at least ten. You deserve this! Feel free to award people who have already been awarded

Hrm... looks like an award, but smells like a meme. (Where's the air freshener?)

Oh well. On to the mutual back patting!

danielphillip.com

Daniel's very prolific when it comes to blogging. He'll blog several times a day where as I'm more of the "I'll blog when I damn well please" variety. I enjoy reading his blog even when I don't know what the hell he's talking about. I also enjoy his (albeit virtual) company. He makes me laugh and smile.

Healthy Or Bust

Do you remember my friend Kristin? Guess what she's been doing and neglected to tell anyone. Blogging.

"It's just something I wanted to keep to myself for a while."

But why? She's great at it. While her blog appears to have a singular focus — living a healthier lifestyle — it's really about more than that and you get a real sense of who Kristin is: an awesome person you want to get to know better.

So...What Else, What Else, What Else?

I don't think I've ever known Geggie to do anything half-assed. She's kind of a full throttle gal, if you know what I mean. Case in point, blogging. When Geggie blogs, she blawgs, ya'll. She doesn't just post and then call it a day. She's into blogging.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say she might enjoy the community aspect of blogging. When Geggie's at a party, she makes the rounds. Talks to everyone. Gets know them. (After all, that's how we met.) I've noticed she does that in blogging too. She seeks out other blogs. Comments. Gets to know them.

Personally, I'm glad she blogs, because it's a good way of keeping in touch with her.

Lopaka Lounge

I find Cobban to be a very interesting man who has a lot of stories to tell. Whenever I read one of his posts, I want there to be another. And another. And another.

What Some Would Call Lies

So it turns out Mike hates attention on his birthday.

Oops. My bad. Maybe he won't mind this kind of attention.

I discovered Mike's blog last year when he commented on my reader's survey last year during that awful month Daniel made me blog every day. (The bastard.)

Since then, I've been reading his blog and getting to know him and I've got to tell you... he's good. Not only is he an excellent writer, but he's very creative from his design work to his videos. He's a sharp tack that one. Keep your eye on him.

Tuna Girl

I have a confession to make. I didn't really like Tuna Girl's blog at first. I found it a little uncomfortable to read. "Oh God! She's blogging about having sex with her husband. AGAIN!"

Of course, once I kept reading and loosened up a bit, I found out what a gem her blog is. She's a brilliant writer who isn't afraid to expose her heart and let it's gooey center spill out for all of us to see. She just celebrated her fourth anniversary of blogging. I hope she's blogging for many, many more.

Puntabulous

Craig is simply adorkable. He is unabashedly himself and I love that about him. He makes me laugh out loud and I love his cartoons. His Guest Debates are genius and a great way of discovering other super bloggers.

Craig was recently nominated for Best GLBT Weblog for The Bloggies. You know...THE Bloggies. He totally deserved to win too, much more than the guy who did. Seriously, what's so GLBT about that site other than outing celebrities and drawing semen on their faces with MS Paint?

Superhero Journal

I've mentioned a few times how much I admire Andrea and her blog, Superhero Journal, that you'd think I was trying to get into her blog's panties. And I am!

But seriously, I can't begin to tell you how many "A-Ha!" moments I come way with after reading her blog. Like her mentor SARK, Andrea has built a lovely little community on her blog who share ideas, offer support and revel in the sheer joy and color of life. THAT is what I love about blogging.

The Tin Man

There have been a lot of political postings on blogs lately due to the election. More so that I remember there being four years ago. Some are stated rather thoughtfully. Some... not so much. Few are written as eloquently and respectfully as Jeff's. Jeff has a passion for not only politics, but the process of this election and its significance in our history. Jeff's a smart guy. If you haven't already, check him out.

Homer's World

How could I possibly have a list of excellent blogs and not include Homer? Highly opinionated and always entertaining, blogging is effortless for him. Over the years, Homer has developed a loyal following who read about life in the desert, archeology and pie-making. I am very lucky to have him as my friend.

Comments (7)
Permalink | File Under: Blogging

Today is Mike Lawson's birthday. If you haven't checked out his blog before, you should. He's very creative, smart and funny; all things that make for a good blog. And a good guy.

He also has a thing for limericks, so this one's for you Mike.

There once was a guy named Mike Lawson
who moved to the Valley of the Sun.
From his birthday cake did arise
A habit-wearing surprise
Because it's much more funny with a nun.

Happy Birthday, Mike!

Comments (3)
Permalink | File Under: Sharing

Dear Alden,

I bought you this for Christmas last year.

But then I kept it for myself.

Sorry.

Sincerely,
Brian

PS - Better luck this year.

Comments (1)
Permalink | File Under: Friends

My allergies had other plans for me this weekend. Those plans mainly involved sneezing non stop and being a cranky bitch. I tried Zyrtec. I didn't react to it too badly but I think limiting my exposure to it would be a wise move.

The weekend wasn't a total waste. I did manage to do laundry and get my hair buzzed.

Usually, I pass on the wearing of green on St. Patrick's Day. It's kind of a stupid thing really. But this green t-shirt was calling out to me today. I blame the Zyrtec.

Comments (6)
Permalink | File Under: Life

I meant to get going much earlier this morning, however that last item has taken top priority. Oy!

Comments (3)
Permalink | File Under: Lists, Photos

Homer gave me these little dangly drink adornments to make my iced tea a bit more festive. Party in my mouth and Luzianne is invited!

Shit ya'll. I don't know about you but the weekend can not get here any sooner. This week has been brutal and I am in serious need of a siesta. T G I Mofo F!

Comments (3)
Permalink | File Under: Life

My father was a macho Marlboro man kind of guy who lived his life according to a set of absolutes about what it means to be A Man®. Pithy admonitions such as, "Never say 'I don't know.' Real men never admit they don't know how to do something." This sage wisdom usually was delivered during an all-night, whiskey-fueled rant about why my grades were so bad. He'd ask me over and over, "Why did you make a D in Geography?"

My answer was, "Perhaps it has something to do with the fact you are keeping your son up after two in the morning on a school night badgering him about his grades while you yourself dropped out of the eighth grade and need assistance reading the word Geography on my report card. You think maybe THAT has something to do with the fact I don't know that Somalia is in Africa?"

Of course, that answer would have lead straight to a beating and I had had my fill of those already thankyouverymuch. So instead I answered, "I don't know," which lead to a never-ending argument until I could no longer keep my eyes open and the next day waking up with a pool of drool on my desk at the end of Geography class.

It's easy to make light of it now. It was a lifetime ago. And it's easy to laugh at the ridiculousness my father's circular non-logic.

My favorite was, "Never say you are sorry. It's a sign of weakness." I'd ask why and he'd say that a real man should be confident and have conviction in what he's saying is right.

"But what if you are wrong? You can't be right about everything."

This was inconsequential. It didn't matter if you were actually wrong. Just never admit you are.

In many ways, my father was a precursor to Homer Simpson.

Homer: Boy, if there's one thing you should know, it's this. There's the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way!
Bart: Uh Dad, isn't that the wrong way?
Homer: Yeah son, but FASTER!

I knew this was complete bullshit. Apologizing isn't a sign of weakness. Not admitting you are wrong about anything is just pure arrogance, which I suppose was part of my father's definition about being a "real man."

Luckily, I've never had a problem saying I'm sorry for something. However, sometimes I'm not always aware that I am wrong about something, which, according to his backwards ass principles, would probably make my father proud.

So when someone takes the time to say, "Hey. You are being a dickhead and are hurting my feelings," it makes me pause because I'm not always aware of when I'm being an dickhead. (Although I am KEENLY aware when I'm being an asshole. I have that down to a science.)

It's pretty humbling to be called out on your shit. For someone to do that, it takes great courage.

Admitting you are wrong takes courage too. Even if it's just two simple words.

I'm sorry.

That's what real men do.

Permalink | File Under: Sharing

For the uninitiated, read this.

06:44

Obviously, Taking My Sweet Ass Time Monday™ has kind of taken over this whole week.

07:56

Ain't that the truth!

I love this guy's work. Especially his illustrations of the states.

10:05

Sometimes I like staring at the glittery lights.

11:20

Creating pretty pretty for the intrawebs.

12:19

A couple more notes for the Hope Revolution.

12:40

Getting my Greek on for lunch. It was all very tasty but the rice and dolmades rocked so hard!

13:44

Dan In Real Life is a cute, funny – albeit sugary – romantic comedy. I recommend it and the Sondre Lerche filled soundtrack.

16:54

It's in the 80s this week and I already need to use a fan to cool down the apartment.

18:33

Progress?

18:53

Picking up take-out from China Chili.

19:25

Lies!

19:42

My little holistic approach to handling my allergies. Apparently Dr. Oz featured the neti pot on Oprah because HOLY COW ya'll... there are a buttload of neti pot/nasal irrigation videos on YouTube. I've weeded through dozens of them to bring you one you will probably enjoy.

Comments (12)
Permalink | File Under: 12 of 12

I should be out the door and on my way to work right now, but I'm not. Why? Because it's Taking My Sweet Ass Time Monday™* — a day when we celebrate not caring what the clock says.

Taking My Sweet Ass Time Monday™ is the little sister of I Didn't Do Jack Shit All Day Sunday® and Seriously, It's Only Tuesday? Tuesday®.

For all of you suckers lovely people still moaning and groaning about losing an hour of sleep due to Daylight Savings Time, I encourage you to embrace Taking My Sweet Ass Time Monday™.

Relax. Take a few minutes just for you this morning. The world's not going to end if you are late.† I promise.

* Apparently my server is taking its sweet ass time today too because it took forever to post this.

† Brian and cheapblueguitar.com are not responsible if you are fired over tardiness.

Comments (7)
Permalink | File Under: Life

I came home early from work because I felt like crap. I self medicated with a vigorous dose of simple carbs, Netflix and then slept it off. I woke up feeling much better.

Homer was in town for work so we went out for pasta.

The pasta was okay but kind of meh.

Homer had some cake. I declined on having dessert since I ate cookies for lunch but I had a taste. It was super chocolatey and moussey.

Our server thought it was weird we were taking pictures of our food. Srsly? She's never seen this before? The internet is filled with people taking pictures of their food.

As we left, she asked if I wanted to take her picture.

Sure lady. Whatever floats your boat.

Comments (0)
Permalink | File Under: Life, Photos

He only sits in this thing when it's on the sofa. Never the floor. Never. Srsly.

It makes sense really when you apply cat logic to it. After all I bought this cat bed specifically because the floor is concrete and the bottom padding on the bed is so thick and thus more comfortable. Right?

*sigh*

When will I learn?

Comments (11)
Permalink | File Under: Elliott

What a beautiful day! It was the kind of day that demanded you put on some shorts, pasty legs be damned, and spend some of it outside.

I aired up the tires and rode my bike around the neighborhood today. It's been so long since I last rode my bike, I forgot how much fun it is.

Comments (5)
Permalink | File Under: Life