No, I'm not stoned. I had an eye appointment this morning to use my eye care allowance up before my insurance expires at the end of the month.

I have a great eye doctor. He's very thorough but also explains what every test is for and what the results mean. All good information even though my brain always processes it as: YOU ARE GETTING OLD AND GOING BLIND MORE AND MORE EVERY DAY.

After my eyes were dilated, I was asked if I had sunglasses with me. I said they were in the car. So I paid and headed to my car and the minute I stepped out of the shade OMFG it's so freaking bright out! I made it to the car after almost colliding into a bicyclist on the side walk and drove home with no problem.

My phone rang but I couldn't see who it was. Usually I would let it go to voicemail, but I'm glad I answered because...

IT WAS A JOB OFFER!

In two weeks, I will once again be a productive member of society.

Again, I want to reiterate how grateful I am for all your comments, emails, instant messages and phone calls. Your support has meant the world to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Now, what the hell am I going to do for the next two weeks?

Comments (15)
Permalink | File Under: Life, Unemployment

Last night was Kacy's birthday party. (Happy Birthday Gurl!) I'd put a link to her blog but she's gone through something like EIGHTEEN blogs in the time I've known her and to be honest, I'm not sure if she's blogging anymore.

Dyanna and I gave her a super hero cape so she could finally fulfill her destiny to become Special K. The K on the cape is backwards like Bizzaro because it's special. And it SPARKLES!

Clearly her super power is having awesome hair.

Comments (1)
Permalink | File Under: Friends

First, remind me to NEVER make that face again.

Second, don't get used to this look.

The recruiter's email told me to "dress to impress," so I assumed that meant "wear a suit." I am SO not a suit person.

For your listening amusement, my thoughts on wearing this suit.

Comments (7)
Permalink | File Under: Photos, Unemployment

Oy. Looking for a job is exhausting. Srsly.

Monday I was at it from 8:30 AM to after 11 PM with breaks for eating, doing dishes and eventually showering. I say eventually because the sun was down when I finally got around to it and the cat was looking at me like, "Hey man... are you gonna like do something about that stank already?"

It has been very productive so far. I had a meeting today and have interviews scheduled for Thursday and Friday, so wish me luck.

I want to thank EVERYONE for all the great comments, suggestions and job leads. Your support has meant so much to me. I'm not sure I could adequately express how much. Every time I get a new comment, or email or phone call it reminds me what I love about this community we call blogging and I am continually humbled by your kindness. Thank you.

Comments (1)
Permalink | File Under: Life, Unemployment

Guess who was laid off the day before his two year anniversary.

After the woman I'd never met from corporate HR explained my severance package and services to me, she commented on my calm, relaxed demeanor.

"It's not my first time."

I mean, don't get me wrong... it sucks. Totally sucks. Especially since I really, really loved this job. It was an awesome place to work with really cool, talented people and the work was interesting, fun and challenging. I learned a lot working there and I'll miss my colleagues.

But life goes on. I do have a bit of a time crunch with how long my severance will last. My last severance package was much more generous and afforded me a few months to look for work.

So, I'll probably save my freak out for after my severance runs out but for now all energies are focused on finding a new job.

With the exception of this weekend. I think copious amounts of booze are in order.

Comments (14)
Permalink | File Under: Life, Unemployment

Mike of What Some Would Call Lies has started an interesting new venture called the Benevolent Blogger Project.

Here's how it works: make a commitment to doing something for a non-profit organization or charity every month and then stick with it. It can be donating a percentage of your monthly income or volunteering your time. It can be the same charity or a different one each time. The main thing is sticking with it.

Actually, this gives me the kick in the ass I've been needing for a while now to get back into volunteering again. It's been three years since I quit my last full-time volunteering gig. Sadly, that experience I left me a bit disappointed, but this gives me the perfect opportunity to look for an organization I can support.

So my commitment is to volunteer at least four hours a month. I'm not sure where just yet, but this gives me the chance to shop around for an organization I like.

If you'd like to join Mike in this project, I strongly encourage to do so. It can be money or time or both. Whatever you can swing. Personally, I'm all about giving of time. I don't always have the available funds to give, but I usually have plenty of time to devote. Plus, I think I've gotten more out of volunteering than what the work I've actually given. Case in point, two of my oldest, dearest friends — Kristin and Thomas — I met them while volunteering at the GLBT community center many moons ago.

I'm going to kick this month off with a financial donation to Equality Arizona, an organization dedicated to secure, protect and defend the rights and welfare of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people in Arizona.

Be sure to visit Mike and the Benevolent Blogger Project and if you can, get involved.

PS - This is my 700th post.

Comments (4)
Permalink | File Under: Benevolent Blogger

The 411.

06:43

While ironing my shirt this morning I noticed the bottom buttonhole used a different color thread than the other. Is this common?

06:50

This is Elliott's cat medicine. For some reason, it smells like bubble gum. Because you know cats just LOVE bubble gum.

07:22

Someone left this book in my carport.

07:36

I'm returning The Nines and The Mostly Unfabulous Social Life of Ethan Green. I really wanted to like these movies, but they make it so hard to. The Nines was very well acted (especially Melissa McCarthy) and the story was an interesting concept, but I think it was too complex for just 99 minutes. As for The Mostly Unfabulous Social Life of Ethan Green, what could have been a funny gay-theme comedy, turned out to be another crappy, unbelievably unfunny movie you'll see in the TLA Video catalog probably sitting in your mailbox right now.

My lunch is in the Petsmart bag.

09:02

We have a Nut Station at work. Jealous?

09:27

I really need a haircut.

11:18

One of the front desk receptionists has the Pot Stirrer of the Day for those people who piss her off. I get the PSOTD award today, but not for pissing her off but for stirring the pot in a good way. I showed her Etsy this morning. She's like a kid in a crack house candy store.

12:12

We have this little group at work that goes for a walk around the neighborhood a couple days a week during our lunch hour, but it's already too hot out so we have devised an indoor route that involves a lot of stairs. It's actually a much better workout that just walking.

12:40

Lunch! Grilled chicken, low-fat cheese and Cuban black beans.

13:53

Picking up the latest Buffy at the comic book store.

Shut up!

14:31

Checking in with Daniel to make sure he remembered to take pictures today.

16:58

Haircut accomplished. Much better.

Comments (15)
Permalink | File Under: 12 of 12

I hate when I run out of everything. I drove around all weekend marking items off my list, filling my trunk and watching my bank account dwindle. Super fun! All of it was necessary stuff. Well, except for the toy sushi. That was just for fun and I think I can justify spending 88¢.

See that box in the lower right hand corner. That box contains an ultrasonic, cool mist humidifier but you can call it by the name I've given it: THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE.

That humidifier was my main reason for shopping. With the dry air and my ever-shrinking sinuses, I am in desperate need for some nighttime hydration. Humidifiers are pretty common so you'd think they'd be easy to find.

WRONG.

Well, strike that. WRONG unless you want one shaped like a penquin, a frog, a cow, SpongeBob Squarepants or Hello Kitty.

My top three requirements were 1) cool mist and 2) ultrasonic and 3) not meant for a nursery. Seems simple enough. WRONG. After going to (count them) nine stores I was this close to getting one of the kiddie humidifiers, but I could just picture this future scenario.

Me: Take off your pants.
Him: What is that?
Me: Oh, that's just HumidiPig. Ignore him.

Apparently, the entire Valley of the Sun is sold out of adult cool mist, ultrasonic humidifiers. (Well, unless you want to pay $300+ for one. The beyond in Bed, Bath & Beyond stands for "beyond my means.") So I compromised and bought one that has a fake aquarium with colored lights.

Once I got home, I set it up and promptly feel asleep. But, at least the air was finally cool and moist.

Comments (3)
Permalink | File Under: Life

What do you see?

Comments (7)
Permalink | File Under: Drawings

My friends, those are the wild, crazed eyes of one pissed off cat.

I'm not sure who hates going to the vet more. He makes this AWFUL howling noise when I put him in the carrier. He's so loud that my neighbor came over to find out if he was being sawed in half or giving birth to a Tyrannosaurus.

Of course, at the vet's office is no better because OMG WHAT ARE THOSE SMELLS and OMG WHAT IS SNIFFING MY CAGE, which is followed by the ever popular GET ME THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!

I was more unnerved by some of the pet owners in the waiting area, most of whom I would have chosen to spay or neuter. You know, to control the ick population.

The doctor was very nice and said overall, Elliott's very healthy after checking his vitals and examining him. After vaccines were administered came the most unpleasant part: the return to the mobile prison. That cat has never clung to me for dear life before. Ugh, it was a chore getting him back in that thing. I have the scratches to prove it.

He cried all the way home. It just breaks my heart to hear him in that cage.

Comments (2)
Permalink | File Under: Elliott

At last night's Yelp event, I asked Korina why everyone's name tag had their first name and last initial. It is because that's how you are identified on the site, but I think there is something deeper there. It's to prepare you for your first meeting at Alcoholics Anonymous.

So, yeah. I had a little to drink last night. For the record, I feel perfectly fine this morning. In fact, I had an awesome night's sleep. I may have to give this getting wasted thing a try again.

And if you are curious about these Tidy Bowltinis, here is a photo of one I took just before pouring it down my gullet. And yes, that is the Tootsie Roll representing poo at the bottom of the glass.

Ah geez... I drunk commented on this picture last night. I was a very busy boy.

To all the people who received drunk dials, drunk voicemails, drunk text messages, drunk instant messages, drunk twitters and other forms of communications technology has enabled drunk people to use, I apologize. None of you seemed to mind. And yes, I do remember them all. Mostly.

Phone call to Julie.

Julie: When you are sober, I need to talk to you about something important.
Me: Yeah. Now would not be the time for that.

Instant messaging with The Greg®

Me: who was eleminated from a merica's next top model
The Greg: Uh, you're asking the wrong person.
Me: drunk twitterin ftw

Phone call to Deek who is moving across the country in two weeks.

Me: I love you and am going to miss you. And I'm not just saying that because I'm trashed.

Comments (1)
Permalink | File Under: Life

Homer is telling that i need to blog while i am drunk. I went to a Yelp event tonight with Korina and have a few cocktails. The cocktails were called Tidy Bowltine8...i mean tidy bowltinis. they were bluw and had a tootsie rool in them to look like POO.

Homer says "That's discgusting."

HE also says i can't edit this post to crroect anything.

THIS is wy i don't drink.

I love you all.

xxxoo

Comments (9)
Permalink | File Under: Drunk

Last night I arrived at Thomas's for our ritual Friday Night Dinner® (Just like the Gilmores, only with less judgement) and SciFi channel palooza. I walked in with a canvas bag filled with markers, stickers and index cards. I held it up and exclaimed, "I brought us something to do!" He looked a little worried.

We made Hope Notes that will be distributed to girls living in Rwanda. You can read about how hopeREVO got involved in this here and here.

If you have time to make your own Hope Notes and get them in the mail by Monday, May 5th so they can be compiled and all mailed on May 14th, that would be awesome.

Also, if you could keep Odette and her daughters in your thoughts during this very difficult time, that would be equally awesome.

Comments (2)
Permalink | File Under: Life, Photos, Sharing

Do you see what I put up with? Gah.

Last Friday was Thomas's birthday. We have this little tradition of exchanging gifts in the most girly, feminine gift bag we can find. Usually in a public setting.

My favorite was when Thomas met me at Pita Jungle for my birthday a couple years ago and gave me a gift bag that looked like a purse. I'm not ashamed to admit I reused it.

Comments (1)
Permalink | File Under: Thomas

All month long I've been thinking about this month's banner. I batted around many of ideas and sifted through tons of stock images looking for some inspiration. I kept coming up with zilch.

One reason is because of work. I've been pretty busy lately. That's not a complaint. Busy Brian is Creative Brian. But the problem with that is by the time I get home, the last thing I want to do is open Photoshop.

Whenever I ask my friends for tag line ideas they always latch onto the "theme" of the month based on holidays and traditions. That rarely speaks to me unless I can be a smart ass about it.

Krystyn had a great suggestion:

plain white, black courier font: "no inspiration for this month's banner"

I was this tempted to do it. Then, the elusive muse finally visited me. She brought with her the bright sun. And after all the recent entries posted in the Depression category, I think this place could use some brightening up.* Don't you?

Along with the new banner, comes a new mix of songs to get your toes tapping for May.

* I'll feel very differently about the sun when it's 122° out. Which will probably be any day now.

Comments (8)
Permalink | File Under: Banners