I hate when I run out of everything. I drove around all weekend marking items off my list, filling my trunk and watching my bank account dwindle. Super fun! All of it was necessary stuff. Well, except for the toy sushi. That was just for fun and I think I can justify spending 88¢.

See that box in the lower right hand corner. That box contains an ultrasonic, cool mist humidifier but you can call it by the name I've given it: THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE.

That humidifier was my main reason for shopping. With the dry air and my ever-shrinking sinuses, I am in desperate need for some nighttime hydration. Humidifiers are pretty common so you'd think they'd be easy to find.

WRONG.

Well, strike that. WRONG unless you want one shaped like a penquin, a frog, a cow, SpongeBob Squarepants or Hello Kitty.

My top three requirements were 1) cool mist and 2) ultrasonic and 3) not meant for a nursery. Seems simple enough. WRONG. After going to (count them) nine stores I was this close to getting one of the kiddie humidifiers, but I could just picture this future scenario.

Me: Take off your pants.
Him: What is that?
Me: Oh, that's just HumidiPig. Ignore him.

Apparently, the entire Valley of the Sun is sold out of adult cool mist, ultrasonic humidifiers. (Well, unless you want to pay $300+ for one. The beyond in Bed, Bath & Beyond stands for "beyond my means.") So I compromised and bought one that has a fake aquarium with colored lights.

Once I got home, I set it up and promptly feel asleep. But, at least the air was finally cool and moist.

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What do you see?

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My friends, those are the wild, crazed eyes of one pissed off cat.

I'm not sure who hates going to the vet more. He makes this AWFUL howling noise when I put him in the carrier. He's so loud that my neighbor came over to find out if he was being sawed in half or giving birth to a Tyrannosaurus.

Of course, at the vet's office is no better because OMG WHAT ARE THOSE SMELLS and OMG WHAT IS SNIFFING MY CAGE, which is followed by the ever popular GET ME THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!

I was more unnerved by some of the pet owners in the waiting area, most of whom I would have chosen to spay or neuter. You know, to control the ick population.

The doctor was very nice and said overall, Elliott's very healthy after checking his vitals and examining him. After vaccines were administered came the most unpleasant part: the return to the mobile prison. That cat has never clung to me for dear life before. Ugh, it was a chore getting him back in that thing. I have the scratches to prove it.

He cried all the way home. It just breaks my heart to hear him in that cage.

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At last night's Yelp event, I asked Korina why everyone's name tag had their first name and last initial. It is because that's how you are identified on the site, but I think there is something deeper there. It's to prepare you for your first meeting at Alcoholics Anonymous.

So, yeah. I had a little to drink last night. For the record, I feel perfectly fine this morning. In fact, I had an awesome night's sleep. I may have to give this getting wasted thing a try again.

And if you are curious about these Tidy Bowltinis, here is a photo of one I took just before pouring it down my gullet. And yes, that is the Tootsie Roll representing poo at the bottom of the glass.

Ah geez... I drunk commented on this picture last night. I was a very busy boy.

To all the people who received drunk dials, drunk voicemails, drunk text messages, drunk instant messages, drunk twitters and other forms of communications technology has enabled drunk people to use, I apologize. None of you seemed to mind. And yes, I do remember them all. Mostly.

Phone call to Julie.

Julie: When you are sober, I need to talk to you about something important.
Me: Yeah. Now would not be the time for that.

Instant messaging with The Greg®

Me: who was eleminated from a merica's next top model
The Greg: Uh, you're asking the wrong person.
Me: drunk twitterin ftw

Phone call to Deek who is moving across the country in two weeks.

Me: I love you and am going to miss you. And I'm not just saying that because I'm trashed.

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Homer is telling that i need to blog while i am drunk. I went to a Yelp event tonight with Korina and have a few cocktails. The cocktails were called Tidy Bowltine8...i mean tidy bowltinis. they were bluw and had a tootsie rool in them to look like POO.

Homer says "That's discgusting."

HE also says i can't edit this post to crroect anything.

THIS is wy i don't drink.

I love you all.

xxxoo

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Last night I arrived at Thomas's for our ritual Friday Night Dinner® (Just like the Gilmores, only with less judgement) and SciFi channel palooza. I walked in with a canvas bag filled with markers, stickers and index cards. I held it up and exclaimed, "I brought us something to do!" He looked a little worried.

We made Hope Notes that will be distributed to girls living in Rwanda. You can read about how hopeREVO got involved in this here and here.

If you have time to make your own Hope Notes and get them in the mail by Monday, May 5th so they can be compiled and all mailed on May 14th, that would be awesome.

Also, if you could keep Odette and her daughters in your thoughts during this very difficult time, that would be equally awesome.

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Do you see what I put up with? Gah.

Last Friday was Thomas's birthday. We have this little tradition of exchanging gifts in the most girly, feminine gift bag we can find. Usually in a public setting.

My favorite was when Thomas met me at Pita Jungle for my birthday a couple years ago and gave me a gift bag that looked like a purse. I'm not ashamed to admit I reused it.

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All month long I've been thinking about this month's banner. I batted around many of ideas and sifted through tons of stock images looking for some inspiration. I kept coming up with zilch.

One reason is because of work. I've been pretty busy lately. That's not a complaint. Busy Brian is Creative Brian. But the problem with that is by the time I get home, the last thing I want to do is open Photoshop.

Whenever I ask my friends for tag line ideas they always latch onto the "theme" of the month based on holidays and traditions. That rarely speaks to me unless I can be a smart ass about it.

Krystyn had a great suggestion:

plain white, black courier font: "no inspiration for this month's banner"

I was this tempted to do it. Then, the elusive muse finally visited me. She brought with her the bright sun. And after all the recent entries posted in the Depression category, I think this place could use some brightening up.* Don't you?

Along with the new banner, comes a new mix of songs to get your toes tapping for May.

* I'll feel very differently about the sun when it's 122° out. Which will probably be any day now.

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Permalink | File Under: Banners