I hate coming home.

When I walk up to my apartment, I know he's not sitting in the window. When I open the door, he's not standing there welcoming me home. When I go to bed, he's not sleeping on the pillow next to me.

I'd like to say it's getting easier — in some regards, it is — but the sadness washes over me from time to time. Sometimes I'm surprised when and what triggers it.

It will take some time before it feels normal again.

I've found a tremendous amount of comfort in the kind and caring comments and emails you truly amazing people have sent me over the last couple of weeks. It's very humbling and I treasure every one of them.

Thank you all.

On to the business of this month's banner. This has been something that's been bouncing around in my head for quite some time but any time I've try to execute it, it's just been wrong. By creating these banners, I've learned that sometimes they have their own time table and trying to force them just doesn't work.

It is inspired by one of the many beautiful songs written by Jonatha Brooke. You can read the lyrics here. Here's the part that leaves me a weeping mess.

And I'll still look you in the eye
It's the longest goodbye
I'll feel the air, make the catch
But I won't swing back
My timing is clear
And I'll never fear
I'll swing 'til there's no net below
Yeah, I'll swing 'til there's no net below

Enjoy.

Again, I thank you all so very much.

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Permalink | File Under: Elliott

The last week has been very difficult. Any progress Elliott's made has been so small, it's been hard to tell if he's getting better. I gave the vet an update yesterday and he reassured me that all I told him were good signs and that getting over this takes a long time.

The vet also suggested, in addition to all the other meds I'm giving Elliott, that I should give him a little Metamucil. Elliott is now my grandmother.

For the most part, he's stayed exclusive in the bathroom. Then last night, this happen.

i should be sleeping but was woken by elliott meowing. he was sitting beside my bed. he hasn't walked around much since all this started so this was kind of a surprise. i don't want to put him on my bed because he might try to jump down & he's too weak for that. so i put one of his beds beside mine and he curled up in it.

very slowly he's getting better. tonight was a good night.

- Posted to Flickr from the comfort of my bed.

Of course, when I woke up I discovered he peed in the bed, but I'll still leave this in the win column.

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I tried. I really did. I took my camera with me and everything. But I just didn't have it in me today.

Between my usual busy Thursdays at work and feeding and giving Elliott all his meds, I didn't have time to take enough pictures.

And I'm okay with that. This little guy is my priority right now.

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Elliott is home and doing well. He seems comfortable. Mason showed me how to feed him through the tube and Elliott did just fine when I fed him.

Mason also brought me a suitcase full of stuff.

Holy crap, right?

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I Flickr'd and Twittered about it on Friday but then I remember, oh right! I still have a blog!

Elliott's not doing so well. He's lost a lot of weight and last week ate less and less, eventually just not eating at all. Friday afternoon, I went with my friend Mason to the veterinary clinic he works to have Elliott checked out. They did blood tests and an ultrasound to rule out tumors/cancer.

Elliott has hepatic lipidosis or fatty liver. The treatment is nutrition which means force feeding.

Not. As. Easy. As. It. Sounds.

Especially if you are doing it alone. It's pretty difficult holding him down while trying to shove a syringe full of full down his throat. Plus, if I overfeed him, he vomits.

Fun.

Tomorrow, Mason's taking him in that have a feeding tube put in Elliott's stomach. Sounds awful, but honestly, I think it will be much better for him and for me. That way, he will get the protein he needs.

And speaking of Mason, he's my hero of the year. He's been SO awesome with Elliott and he and everyone at the clinic have been amazing.

I feel pretty good about Elliott's chances for recovery. He still has a lot of fight in him, which is good.

And now, I'll let you make whatever shaved pussy jokes you like.

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