Guess who was laid off the day before his two year anniversary.

After the woman I'd never met from corporate HR explained my severance package and services to me, she commented on my calm, relaxed demeanor.

"It's not my first time."

I mean, don't get me wrong... it sucks. Totally sucks. Especially since I really, really loved this job. It was an awesome place to work with really cool, talented people and the work was interesting, fun and challenging. I learned a lot working there and I'll miss my colleagues.

But life goes on. I do have a bit of a time crunch with how long my severance will last. My last severance package was much more generous and afforded me a few months to look for work.

So, I'll probably save my freak out for after my severance runs out but for now all energies are focused on finding a new job.

With the exception of this weekend. I think copious amounts of booze are in order.

Here's how it works: make a commitment to doing something for a non-profit organization or charity every month and then stick with it. It can be donating a percentage of your monthly income or volunteering your time. It can be the same charity or a different one each time. The main thing is sticking with it.

Actually, this gives me the kick in the ass I've been needing for a while now to get back into volunteering again. It's been three years since I quit my last full-time volunteering gig. Sadly, that experience I left me a bit disappointed, but this gives me the perfect opportunity to look for an organization I can support.

So my commitment is to volunteer at least four hours a month. I'm not sure where just yet, but this gives me the chance to shop around for an organization I like.

If you'd like to join Mike in this project, I strongly encourage to do so. It can be money or time or both. Whatever you can swing. Personally, I'm all about giving of time. I don't always have the available funds to give, but I usually have plenty of time to devote. Plus, I think I've gotten more out of volunteering than what the work I've actually given. Case in point, two of my oldest, dearest friends — Kristin and Thomas — I met them while volunteering at the GLBT community center many moons ago.

I'm going to kick this month off with a financial donation to Equality Arizona, an organization dedicated to secure, protect and defend the rights and welfare of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people in Arizona.

Be sure to visit Mike and the Benevolent Blogger Project and if you can, get involved.

PS - This is my 700th post.

06:43

While ironing my shirt this morning I noticed the bottom buttonhole used a different color thread than the other. Is this common?

06:50

This is Elliott's cat medicine. For some reason, it smells like bubble gum. Because you know cats just LOVE bubble gum.

07:22

Someone left this book in my carport.

07:36

I'm returning The Nines and The Mostly Unfabulous Social Life of Ethan Green. I really wanted to like these movies, but they make it so hard to. The Nines was very well acted (especially Melissa McCarthy) and the story was an interesting concept, but I think it was too complex for just 99 minutes. As for The Mostly Unfabulous Social Life of Ethan Green, what could have been a funny gay-theme comedy, turned out to be another crappy, unbelievably unfunny movie you'll see in the TLA Video catalog probably sitting in your mailbox right now.

My lunch is in the Petsmart bag.

09:02

We have a Nut Station at work. Jealous?

09:27

I really need a haircut.

11:18

One of the front desk receptionists has the Pot Stirrer of the Day for those people who piss her off. I get the PSOTD award today, but not for pissing her off but for stirring the pot in a good way. I showed her Etsy this morning. She's like a kid in a crack house candy store.

12:12

We have this little group at work that goes for a walk around the neighborhood a couple days a week during our lunch hour, but it's already too hot out so we have devised an indoor route that involves a lot of stairs. It's actually a much better workout that just walking.

12:40

Lunch! Grilled chicken, low-fat cheese and Cuban black beans.

13:53

Picking up the latest Buffy at the comic book store.

Shut up!

14:31

Checking in with Daniel to make sure he remembered to take pictures today.

16:58

Haircut accomplished. Much better.

I hate when I run out of everything. I drove around all weekend marking items off my list, filling my trunk and watching my bank account dwindle. Super fun! All of it was necessary stuff. Well, except for the toy sushi. That was just for fun and I think I can justify spending 88¢.

See that box in the lower right hand corner. That box contains an ultrasonic, cool mist humidifier but you can call it by the name I've given it: THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE.

That humidifier was my main reason for shopping. With the dry air and my ever-shrinking sinuses, I am in desperate need for some nighttime hydration. Humidifiers are pretty common so you'd think they'd be easy to find.

WRONG.

Well, strike that. WRONG unless you want one shaped like a penquin, a frog, a cow, SpongeBob Squarepants or Hello Kitty.

My top three requirements were 1) cool mist and 2) ultrasonic and 3) not meant for a nursery. Seems simple enough. WRONG. After going to (count them) nine stores I was this close to getting one of the kiddie humidifiers, but I could just picture this future scenario.

Me: Take off your pants.
Him: What is that?
Me: Oh, that's just HumidiPig. Ignore him.

Apparently, the entire Valley of the Sun is sold out of adult cool mist, ultrasonic humidifiers. (Well, unless you want to pay $300+ for one. The beyond in Bed, Bath & Beyond stands for "beyond my means.") So I compromised and bought one that has a fake aquarium with colored lights.

Once I got home, I set it up and promptly feel asleep. But, at least the air was finally cool and moist.

What do you see?

My friends, those are the wild, crazed eyes of one pissed off cat.

I'm not sure who hates going to the vet more. He makes this AWFUL howling noise when I put him in the carrier. He's so loud that my neighbor came over to find out if he was being sawed in half or giving birth to a Tyrannosaurus.

Of course, at the vet's office is no better because OMG WHAT ARE THOSE SMELLS and OMG WHAT IS SNIFFING MY CAGE, which is followed by the ever popular GET ME THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!

I was more unnerved by some of the pet owners in the waiting area, most of whom I would have chosen to spay or neuter. You know, to control the ick population.

The doctor was very nice and said overall, Elliott's very healthy after checking his vitals and examining him. After vaccines were administered came the most unpleasant part: the return to the mobile prison. That cat has never clung to me for dear life before. Ugh, it was a chore getting him back in that thing. I have the scratches to prove it.

He cried all the way home. It just breaks my heart to hear him in that cage.

At last night's Yelp event, I asked Korina why everyone's name tag had their first name and last initial. It is because that's how you are identified on the site, but I think there is something deeper there. It's to prepare you for your first meeting at Alcoholics Anonymous.

So, yeah. I had a little to drink last night. For the record, I feel perfectly fine this morning. In fact, I had an awesome night's sleep. I may have to give this getting wasted thing a try again.

And if you are curious about these Tidy Bowltinis, here is a photo of one I took just before pouring it down my gullet. And yes, that is the Tootsie Roll representing poo at the bottom of the glass.

Ah geez... I drunk commented on this picture last night. I was a very busy boy.

To all the people who received drunk dials, drunk voicemails, drunk text messages, drunk instant messages, drunk twitters and other forms of communications technology has enabled drunk people to use, I apologize. None of you seemed to mind. And yes, I do remember them all. Mostly.

Phone call to Julie.

Julie: When you are sober, I need to talk to you about something important.
Me: Yeah. Now would not be the time for that.

Instant messaging with The Greg®

Me: who was eleminated from a merica's next top model
The Greg: Uh, you're asking the wrong person.
Me: drunk twitterin ftw

Phone call to Deek who is moving across the country in two weeks.

Me: I love you and am going to miss you. And I'm not just saying that because I'm trashed.

Homer says "That's discgusting."

HE also says i can't edit this post to crroect anything.

THIS is wy i don't drink.

I love you all.

xxxoo

Do you see what I put up with? Gah.

Last Friday was Thomas's birthday. We have this little tradition of exchanging gifts in the most girly, feminine gift bag we can find. Usually in a public setting.

My favorite was when Thomas met me at Pita Jungle for my birthday a couple years ago and gave me a gift bag that looked like a purse. I'm not ashamed to admit I reused it.

One reason is because of work. I've been pretty busy lately. That's not a complaint. Busy Brian is Creative Brian. But the problem with that is by the time I get home, the last thing I want to do is open Photoshop.

Whenever I ask my friends for tag line ideas they always latch onto the "theme" of the month based on holidays and traditions. That rarely speaks to me unless I can be a smart ass about it.

Krystyn had a great suggestion:

plain white, black courier font: "no inspiration for this month's banner"

I was this tempted to do it. Then, the elusive muse finally visited me. She brought with her the bright sun. And after all the recent entries posted in the Depression category, I think this place could use some brightening up.* Don't you?

Along with the new banner, comes a new mix of songs to get your toes tapping for May.

* I'll feel very differently about the sun when it's 122° out. Which will probably be any day now.

I love this photo of Kristin. Isn't she adorable? So happy about IKEA's lingonberry drink.

And that's some smile... right? I love that smile! That smile has lifted many a mood and made many a day for me. That smile has brightened up many a room.

What I also love about this photo is you can see Kristin's amazing progress since she started eating better and exercising. This photo was taken just six months ago. Quite a change, huh? I am so proud of her.

On Mother's Day, Kristin will be participating in the Walk to Empower organized by Y-ME. Y-ME is a non-profit dedicated to providing resources, information and emotional support to those fighting breast cancer from breast cancer survivors who have first-hand experience. The best part? They do all of this absolutely free-of-charge.

You can read about Kristin's decision to walk on her blog, Healthy or Bust.

If you are able to donate to this wonderful cause and support Kristin in the Walk to Empower, I would be very grateful and I know Kristin would be very appreciative too.

You can donate for Kristin here.

Thanks.

PS - Also, if you'd like to leave her a supportive comment on her blog, that would be ultra-cool too.

Or worse yet, they hit the button three times rapidly. Tap, tap, tap.

Oh boy, I guess it will get here three times faster now. Thanks (Dumbass.)

I don't get it. Why?

Why does my cat decide to cough up a hair ball on my bed RIGHT AFTER I just returned from the laundromat for that week.

And why the bed? Why ALWAYS the bed?

Argh! Why?

Why, when you are getting busy with a guy, do you have to stop and say, "Don't put your hand there," which should be pretty clear since you've MOVED IT every time he's put his hand there.

"You don't like that?"

"Nope." Isn't the fact I've purposely placed your hand elsewhere — to a place I DO like your hand to be — indicate I don't want it where it is currently?

"But, why don't you like it?"

"Because I don't."

"But why?"

Am I suddenly making out with a toddler? Why do I need to give you a specific answer? I said I don't like it, so therefore STOP DOING IT.

Grrrr! Why?