I love this photo of Kristin. Isn't she adorable? So happy about IKEA's lingonberry drink.

And that's some smile... right? I love that smile! That smile has lifted many a mood and made many a day for me. That smile has brightened up many a room.

What I also love about this photo is you can see Kristin's amazing progress since she started eating better and exercising. This photo was taken just six months ago. Quite a change, huh? I am so proud of her.

On Mother's Day, Kristin will be participating in the Walk to Empower organized by Y-ME. Y-ME is a non-profit dedicated to providing resources, information and emotional support to those fighting breast cancer from breast cancer survivors who have first-hand experience. The best part? They do all of this absolutely free-of-charge.

You can read about Kristin's decision to walk on her blog, Healthy or Bust.

If you are able to donate to this wonderful cause and support Kristin in the Walk to Empower, I would be very grateful and I know Kristin would be very appreciative too.

You can donate for Kristin here.

Thanks.

PS - Also, if you'd like to leave her a supportive comment on her blog, that would be ultra-cool too.

Comments (2)
Permalink | File Under: Friends

My friend St. John invited me to Saturday's Diamondbacks game. I like the idea of baseball. It's all American like apple pie, afterall. But every time I go to a game, I forget one thing.

Baseball is so freaking boring.

Seriously, I was nodding off in the first several innings. It is a sport of sitting and waiting for something — anything — to happen. It's like Waiting For Godot only with beer. And rednecks.

Oh and people worried about your eternal damnation.

That being said, what I LOVE about baseball is the over-saturated advertising the minute you step into the stadium. It's everywhere. Normally, I'd balk at this commercialism but I embrace it because it brings me the sheer joyous entertainment known as the Taco Bell Food Fight!

They pick three people and put them in these cumbersome costumes — a taco, a burrito and a Pepsi® — and have to run from one side of the field to the other, sometimes knocking each other over.

It's like something the Japanese came up with. And you know how brilliant they are.

It. Is. Genius!

Comments (8)
Permalink | File Under: Friends, Photos, Raving

Dear Alden,

I bought you this for Christmas last year.

But then I kept it for myself.

Sorry.

Sincerely,
Brian

PS - Better luck this year.

Comments (1)
Permalink | File Under: Friends

Today is Dyanna's birthday. Go wish her a happy birthday because she rocks.

Go on... I'll wait.

Are you done? Good.

Are you impressed with my gift wrapping skills? Frankly, I am. Usually when I wrap presents, they look like someone wrapped them with their feet. Or I just throw it in a gift bag with a handful of tissue paper spilling out from the top. Little did I know, you can actually look up very helpful instructions online for such a task.

I thought adding the big honking rock was an inspired touch. After all, what's a birthday with out a little bling?

Comments (5)
Permalink | File Under: Friends

There were a whole lotta bloggers at Homer's holiday party.

Cobban, Homer, me, Sandy, Frank and Jim.

There were a whole lotta cookies to be decorated and pipe cleaners to torment Homer's kittehs. And a whole lotta digital cameras going off.

Comments (5)
Permalink | File Under: Friends, Life, Photos

I received an email from Sandy this afternoon. He's in town for a couple of days before heading to Tucson this weekend and asked if I was free. For international bloggers? Of course I am!

We had dinner at Cafe Istanbul which never disappoints. (Mmm..shwarma!) It was great meeting him and learning about his life in Sydney. We'll see each other this weekend at Homer's too.

Comments (8)
Permalink | File Under: Friends, Photos

Last night, I had dinner with my friend Autumn. She just returned to the states after living in Japan for almost four years. I've missed her bright smile and her company. We had a fantastic dinner. It was great catching up. Autumn's one of those people who are just so real. What you see, is what you get. She's warm, smart, funny and did I mention her smile?

I just realized there are only TWO more days of this awful totally fun month left. I'm wondering if I should do something special or different to end the month with a bang, or something. Hrm. But what could I do?

Any thoughts?

Comments (5)
Permalink | File Under: Friends

Comments (0)
Permalink | File Under: Elliott, Friends, Life, Photos

Lately, I've been reconnecting a with lot of old friends via MySpace, Facebook and LinkedIn. Friends from college, past co-workers and old blog buds. It's been kind of nice getting back in touch with them. It's funny how we just sometimes lose touch with people. Our lives get busy. We forget to return a phone call. Rescheduling plans never happens. Time just slips by.

Okay, the benadryl is kicking in now. Time to wrap this up.

So I ask you this question, who if anyone would you like to reconnect with?

Comments (4)
Permalink | File Under: Friends, Sharing

Dear Kristin,

We've been friends for a long time. Such a long time that I'd say it's been a LOOOOOOOOOOONG time with capital letters and extra vowels. Usually this type of friendship garners some loyalty. Some through-thick-and-thin-ism.

So why is it you won't watch America's Next Top Model with me?

I know you say you have enough television to watch, and I would tend to agree with that. You do after all record Paula Dean. (Really? Is that necessary?) But I'm sure we could trim your current scheduled programs to make time. ER, for example. I didn't even know that show was still airing. Surely they've gone full circle with all the possible ailments and injuries they can fix. What about Vintage WBNA? C'mon. The WBNA isn't old enough to be vintage.

But just like Jello, there's always room for America's Next Top Model. Hell. I only started watching it when The CW launched last year, and damned if that Tyra Banks didn't sink her meat hooks in me.

You should want to watch it because it's JUST. SO. BAD. It's awful and THAT'S why everyone loves it. And this season is the worst by far. They really scraped the bottom of the reality show contestant barrel for this cycle.

Some of what you've missed:

• They had a contestant named Spontaniouse. You read that correctly. SPONTANIOUSE. You can't make that stuff up.

• Tyra's gone green this year. Eco-Friendly. Non-Smoking. You love that stuff.

• Bianca. She's got a twenty-five dollar weave and is chocked-full of ghetto attitude to boot.

• We could be having thoughtful debates if it's called "AH-SPERGER'S" Syndrome or "ASS-BURGER'S" Syndrome.

• Last cycle's winner, Jaslene. Can't spokes model her way out of a paper bag and sounds just like a deaf person speaks. Her Covergirl commercials hurt to watch, but in a good way.

All this and SO much more await you Wednesdays at 7 PM. You don't even need to DVR it. Just walk next door and watch it with me. When was the last time we had Kristin And Brian Fun Time®? (Saturday at Crapplebee's doesn't count.)

So just suck it up and do it!

XO,
Brian

Comments (5)
Permalink | File Under: Friends

A few weeks ago when I asked Homer if he'd go see Josh Rouse with me, his response was, "I don't even know who that is." But being the good sport he is, he agreed to go any way.

We had dinner at Grill and once again, I had the most health conscious item on the menu.

Looking at this photo I took of Homer last night, I realize he's wearing the exact same thing he wore the last time we ate at Grill in April. Weird.

How is it that I've lived in Arizona for ten years and never been to Club Congress? I've been by it plenty of times and attended a few concerts across the street at the Rialto, but never even set foot in the door. What a shame that is, because I now have a favorite venue for seeing concerts. The show was awesome. Small, intimate but not dive-y or gross. And the stage is beautiful. Josh and his band did a great set of songs and played all of my favorites, including Love Vibration.

Comments (5)
Permalink | File Under: Friends, Music

I called Homer this morning to sing "Happy Birthday To You." I've always thought that song was public domain, but Homer pointed out it is in fact protected by copyright.

WTF? It's the effin' birthday song? And people are making money off it? Inconceivable!

Any who, be sure to pop over to Homer's World and wish him a happy (non-copyright infringement) birthday.

Permalink | File Under: Friends

Homer took time away from his busy schedule of ferreting out fake bloggers to let me take him to lunch for his birthday. His birthday isn't for a couple of weeks, but I wanted to give him his gifts early so he could start baking.

We had Indian food for lunch.

Then we went to the Sweetwater Wetlands which is a fancy way of saying "sewage treatment plant."

Then we went to the Presidio Park, which I saw two years ago when Homer was excavating it. It looks a little different now.

Afterwards, I drove back home and crashed, enjoying having the house to myself by watching the Doctor Who marathon on BBC America.

Comments (3)
Permalink | File Under: Friends

One of the advantages to not having one big birthday celebration, is having many smaller ones. It feels like all month long I've been celebrating my birthday with various lunches, dinners and one very spontaneous day trip to Portland.

This morning I had breakfast with the lovers former known as The Roommates. Not only did this mean I would get a temporary reprieve from the ghetto I now call home, but also I'd get to eat at one of my old haunts, Orange Table.

I have mentioned my love of certain fictionalized terrorism here and here. The three of us used to stop whatever we were doing to watch Keifer Sutherland kick terrorist ass every Monday until we became more interested in saving the cheerleader and the world.

However, after my gift, 24 may be the winner.

No. The tits aren't real. I'm on South Beach, thank you.

This box contained all kinds of awesome. There were many envelopes with my instructions to complete a secret mission.

Click each pic to see the larger view.

I have some seriously great friends. (Having Elliott as "Jack Meower" is an excellent touch.)

To see the whole photo set, make clicky here.

Now, if you'll please excuse me, I have some missions to accomplish.

Comments (2)
Permalink | File Under: Elliott, Friends, Life, Raving

Yesterday Adam and I flew to Portland for the day. We went to the Portland Saturday Market, ate delicious lebanese food, walked around Old Town Chinatown, took lots of pictures at the Portland Classical Chinese Garden, shopped for books at Powell's and then went back to the Market to eat vendor food. I even ate an Elephant Ear. (Carbs don't count when you're out of state. Did you not know that?) After all that, we went back to the airport and went back home.

It was an awesome time. I'm completely exhausted and a little sunburned, but I want to do it again.

Click to see the Panoramic view.

Make clicky here to see the entire photo set.

And check out Adam's photos too!

Comments (5)
Permalink | File Under: Friends, Life, Photos

Today is Kandy's 30th birthday. On Friday, Kristin threw a huge surprise party for her. The biggest surprise was her mother and grandmother flew in from Ohio for the party.

Mom Jeanie, Kandy and Grandma Shammie

Her mom, grandma and aunt cooked all day in Kristin's kitchen and mine making a huge feast for about forty people. There was so much food. And so many carbs.

Mmm...tasty carbs.

The dinner was at my house. Kristin really wanted this to be like the parties Kandy grew up with in Ohio, so the party had theme colors and everyone came dressed in white, navy blue, denim and silver.

Well, almost everyone.

Aunt Patti and Kristin

After dinner, we went next door to Kristin and Kandy's house for the after party. More food, lots of drinks and dancing in the backyard.

The Electric Slide: Bridging the gap between races since 1976.

It was an awesome time and if anyone deserves a huge party like this, it is Kandy. She is an amazing friend and we all love her very much.

To see the entire set of birthday photos, make clicky here.

Comments (1)
Permalink | File Under: Friends, Photos

My friend Gayle is in town for work. One of the things on her agenda was to stop by the station to shoot a segment. (Check it out here.) But after that was her most important duty: having lunch with me.

Gayle is a hoot. She's one of the most fun people I know. It was great catching up with her. We had a great lunch filled with good food and fun gossip.

Comments (3)
Permalink | File Under: Friends

Yesterday, Dyanna came over and we decorated cookies for the hell of it. Dyanna is by far a mos def better cookie decorator than I but I gave it a good shot.

While we were listened to the 80's music station on cable, head bopping to Wham and Richard Marx, I realized that I think my high school reunion was this weekend. I decided a few months ago not to go. Since moving, I don't really have it in my budget to afford any traveling right now. It would have been nice to see some folks I haven't seen in a long time, but it's also nice to pay for air conditioning since it is 147° outside.

I know this is Pride weekend for many of you. So just for you, I made a very special cookie.

Comments (4)
Permalink | File Under: Friends, Music, Photos

Tonight Julie came over to watch the Heroes finale. I made baked pasta for dinner. It. Was. Awesome. Both the pasta and the finale.

It's good to see Julie. I miss her.

Comments (5)
Permalink | File Under: Cooking, Friends, Photos

Thomas and I are having a two-night concert-going-palooza. Tonight we are going to see Nickel Creek, which is good since they are taking an indefinite break following this tour and they were such a hoot last time.

Tomorrow, we are driving to Tucson to see Andrew Bird, who is purely sublime. Seriously, if he's ever in your town, go see him. It's amazing to watch him perform.

I'm going to try to talk Thomas into stopping at the ostrich farm on the way. I told him it was mainly so I could post more mocking photos of him on The Internetz®, as if I don't give him enough crap as it is.

I give Thomas a lot of shit and good-natured ribbing. It's purely out of love. He is one of my best friends. Out of respect for him, I decided NOT to post his birthday ecard for all The Internetz® to view on his birthday.

See Thomas, I can show restraint some times.

Of course...

Today's not his birthday, so the man who saw the first Lord of the Rings movie a total of TWENTY-ONE times IN the movie theater back to being fair game. (The ecard is after the jump.)

Continue reading "Tix & Thomas" »

Comments (5)
Permalink | File Under: Friends, Music, Thomas

Megan during her second trimester.

Yesterday Megan called to cancel dinner plans we had for tonight. Apparently giving birth takes precedence over social time with Brian.

You know...some people are just so selfish.

Megan and Travis are kickin' it old school and don't know the sex of the baby. I don't think I could do that. I'd want to know like right now!

Now doubt, Megan's going to have the coolest, most stylish baby ever. (Although it's too bad she's not having twins because this rocks so hard.) But let's hope it doesn't take after its father and have a 'stache. (Which I'm happy to report is long gone.)

UPDATE: Megan had a girl!

Comments (1)
Permalink | File Under: Friends

Usually the first thing I do when I get home is look through the mail. Today I received a newsletter from AIDS Arms in Dallas. Guess who's picture was in it?

Every year, Mark of Zeitzeuge, participates in and raises money for their LifeWalk. And every year he surpasses his goal. Last year Mark placed first as the individual who raised the most money. This is just one of the many reasons Mark rocks so hard is so many ways. He's good people.

AIDS Arms is a great organization. Mark has seen firsthand how they can help and all the good they do. Although the walk isn't until October, fundraising has already begun. Donating is easy, quick and secure. Please consider supporting Mark. I know he, as well as I, would appreciate it. Click here to make a donation.

Thanks!

Comments (2)
Permalink | File Under: Friends

Winners Glenn, Patrick & Brady with their Non Denominational Baskets

Yesterday was Homer's Non Denominational Boiled Egg Decorating and Backyard Egg Hunt. A Homer party isn't complete with an activity of sorts. It was a fun time. I got to meet a lot of his friends (including the visiting Glennalicious) and got dye all over my fingers. I didn't fare so well in the egg hunt. I think I was fourth from last. Next year, I'll have to employ more of a strategy than "wander around and look for eggs."

Pics of the party are on Flickr.

Comments (4)
Permalink | File Under: Friends, Photos

This is Deek. Today is his birthday. He is one of the bestest friends a guy could have. He is super smart and has a very generous heart and spirit. He is also wickedly funny. We often end up giggling like little school girls. Plus, for sixty-four, he doesn't look half bad. Happy Birthday Deek!

Comments (0)
Permalink | File Under: Friends

Last night, I went over to Megan and Travis's for dinner. This was the first time I've been to their house. I knew they lived far north of me (waaaaaay North Phoenix), but didn't realize just how far until I mapped it out.

Holy Cow! That's a long drive!

When Megan opened the door I said, "So this is Flagstaff, huh? It's nice."

Dinner was very nice. Megan's an awesome cook and their house is uber-cool. They are also having their first child.

"These are just finished, but I still have a bun in the oven."

While in the kitchen, I noticed a scan from her recent 3D ultrasound posted on the refrigerator. Being polite I said, "Cute."

Travis and Megan looked at each other and said, "Really? It looks kinda gross to me. Like an alien."

"Well yeah," I said. "Cute concept, I mean. But yeah...totally an alien."

Comments (0)
Permalink | File Under: Friends

Straight guys should not be left to their own devices. Period.

I received an email from Megan sent to all her friends pleading them to convince her husband Travis to shave his recently grown mustache. She's threatened to grow arm pit hair. She even implemented a "kissing embargo" in protest.

Megan and Travis put the vote to the people.

Here was my response.

I expect a new Gilette will be used very soon.

Comments (6)
Permalink | File Under: Friends

Holy crap! Check out those eyebrows!

Scary, huh? They look like they need their own zip code.

I think Mary said it best. "You grew into your eyebrows."

Nice.

This is my friend Kimberly. Kimberly, not Kim. Isn't she adorable? I miss her and her husband Todd so much. They just had a kid. It completely blows my mind to think that they have a kid. He is as adorable as they are.

I'm cleaning out a bunch of closets and boxes and stuff and finding a tons of nostalgia to OD on. I found a picture of one of my friends who died this year. She is so happy and smiling in this photo. I'm glad I have found it.

Comments (1)
Permalink | File Under: Friends, Nostalgia, Photos

For Thanksgiving this year, I showed Thomas how to make Angry Black Bitch's Corn Casserole Yumminess. Here is Thomas excited to be given the task of opening the cans of corn.

Because Thomas is a vegetarian, I had to substitute the Jiffy Corn Mix with one that doesn't contain lard.

Mmm...tasty, tasty lard.

This is what the corn casserole looks like in the bowl. Disgusting looking...isn't it. That's a sure sign it's going to taste awesome.

After I added about 10 pounds of shredded cheese to it, it's ready for the oven.

While, they were baking, I decided to take a picture of Thomas's pantry so I could ridicule him on the internet.

Here it is in its sad, sad bachelorness.

Would you look at all that spaghetti on the top shelf of which has remained UNOPENED for the last two months.

Sometimes a Costco card is just not a good idea.

Time to check on the casseroles.

Still not done. This gives me time to mock the contents of Thomas's refrigerator.

Just look at all those microwave dinner for one meals. So sad. And check out that industrial bag of french fries. What goes well with french fries?

That's right...two vats of ketchup. With a gleam in his eye he announced, "Oh, I loves me some ketchup."

To reward Thomas for being such a good sport about making fun of his sad, sad bachelor kitchen, I gave him a tasty cake named after our Governor.

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

Comments (7)
Permalink | File Under: Cooking, Friends, Photos, Thomas

Yesterday was Julie's birthday. Guess what she got? The flu. Yay!

Poor thing. She's been puking all morning. I'm not too worried about catching it because a few weeks ago, I helped myself to a heaping dose of the flu vaccine courtesy of my employer. As I told Jason, I could make out with Julie and other than the disgust and shame I'd feel for that gross act of heterosexuality, I'd be perfectly fine.

Elliott however is not fairing so well. Julie brought home a bunch of helium-filled balloons someone gave her, apparently forgetting about The Great Balloon Freak-Out of 2002. That's when I bought a bunch of balloons to take to work the next day and Elliott WIGGED OUT SOFA KING BAD. Apparently balloons defy all logic to him and freak his shit. They are hidden in the bathroom right now, but he still senses their presence so he's being VERY cautious.

At least now, he won't follow me into the bathroom.

Comments (2)
Permalink | File Under: Elliott, Friends

Five years ago, I was emailing back and forth with a friend of mine from high school, getting reacquainted. I asked about her husband, whom I hadn't met, and she said, "If you want to know more, check out our family's blog."

My response? "What's a blog?"

Five years later, here I am.

I've often questioned, mostly to myself, why I keep maintaining this blog. I often think about closing up shop. But on Monday, I read something that made it very clear to me why I keep blogging.

"What I really want to say is that each of these connections matters. In the same way that those ladies at the post might be my first human contact of the day, I might be theirs too. They remind me that we all matter. Everywhere we go we matter. And that we take that for granted. We think, "Oh, I won't go to the meeting/ the party/ the class. No one will miss me anyway."

But the truth is, we all matter and we are all missed.

Even here, on this blog."

From Superhero Journal

This post really brought it home to me. Over the last five years, I've made some amazing connections with many people. Some have developed into strong friendships. All have had an impact on my life in many ways.

When I was going through the worst of my depression a couple years ago, I shut so many people out. I felt tired and irritable and just wanted to be left alone. I worked from home to avoid seeing my co-workers. I made excuses to not see my friends. Getting through each day felt like a chore. A dull, colorless chore.

And then there was this blog, staring back at me with maybe two banal posts a month about nothing in particular. Nothing about who I was or what I was feeling. I was ready to pull the plug on it permanently and walk away.

And then an unexpected thing happen. New people started reading my blog and commenting. While I had no desire to connect with anyone I actually knew, starting a conversation with a faceless stranger felt safe enough. So emails were exchanged and eventually instant messenger screen names. Slowly, connections were being made.

Meanwhile, my blog roll started to grow. My site traffic went up a bit, but more importantly, new friendships were forming. That — along with lots of time on the couch and some choice pharmaceuticals — set me on a path to recovery...or whatever you want to call it.

There are many people who've touched my life in many ways, but here are a few I'd like to give some mad props.

• Jennifer and Matthew for getting me started. (Now, would it kill ya to post occasionally?)

• Mark for making that first connection all those years ago. Thank you, hon.

• The Zenchick. I learned a lot from this woman. She opened my eyes and heart to a new way of seeing the world. For that, I am very grateful. I wish her well.

• Robbie for sharing his love of great music. (PS - Go buy his CD. It rocks, just like him.)

• Adam being a good friend, awesome tech support and letting me mercilessly mock him in images and song.

• Dyanna for graciously hosting this website and being as sweet as dulce de leche.

• And finally for Homer, who is smart, funny and makes me laugh every time I talk to him. He is a wonderful guy and a super friend to have.

And to the rest of you...of all the people who read my blog, you are my favorite.

Here's to the next five.

Peace,
Brian

Comments (8)
Permalink | File Under: Blogging, Depression, Friends, Life

Adam and Kacy are bringing sexy back!

While the internet may be great for delivering information and changing the way we communicate, shop, express ourselves, get laid, etc. it's especially good at taking liberties with your friend's photos.

And taunting them with ghetto phone calls. (Holla!)

Long live the tubes!

Comments (1)
Permalink | File Under: Friends, Sharing

Today is Homer's 43rd birthday. Show him some love.

Comments (1)
Permalink | File Under: Friends

Buaernplatte for Two at Haus Murphy's

Last night Adam and I had dinner at Haus Murphy's in historic (?) downtown Glendale. We order the Buaernplatte for Two which has Bratwurst, Knackwurst, Weisswurst, Kassler Kotelett and Pork Schnitzel served with Sauerkruat, Red Cabbage, German Fried Potatoes and German Potato Salad.

Yes, that's a lot of food and yes, we ate much of it. Adam talked in a German accent and sounded like cross between Augustus Gloop and Dieter.

After that we went to see Cirque du Soleil's Delirum where I had a mild anxiety attack. More on that later.

Auf Wiedersehen!

Comments (4)
Permalink | File Under: Friends

I think everyone had a good time at le birthday bash o' dinner last night. It was nice getting people together and seeing the groups mingle. People from old work. Other people from even older work. Community Center peeps. (There's that word again.) And then friends who are more like family.

All my pictures looked like ass, but Adam's turned out pretty good. I'm a little scared by the one of me with giant swirl of ice cream like product.

Update: Dyanna took some pictures too. Yay Dyanna!

Adam had a little bit too much fun, knocking out the background of this photo for a Kristin Around the World montage.

Comments (0)
Permalink | File Under: Friends, Photos

Homer came over to crash on the couch since his flight to Vancouver was leaving Phoenix at the crack of dawn. Elliott was very happy to see him.

Elliott was also more than happy to inspect his duffel bag for signs of Homer's cats.

I forgot that all the good places to eat are closed on Monday nights in Old Town Scottsdale, so I made us pizza with tomatoes and spinach.

Comments (3)
Permalink | File Under: Friends

Last night, I had just taken a shower and was comfy in my pajamas when I got an instant message from a guy craving sushi and asking if I'd grab a bite with him. Rather than let my instincts take over and say, "No, I'm old, curmudgeonly and anti-social," I said sure and got dressed to meet him at a sushi bar near my home.

I forgot to tell him that in Old Town Scottsdale on weekend, there is always a 45 minute plus wait for the trendy places. Probably why I don't frequent them. So after trying to get into a few of them, we gave up and had pizza instead.

He told me he was going to go to a couple bars after and asked if I wanted to come along. He knew I wasn't much of a bar person. In fact, I can't remember the last time I went to one. There was a time when I was at the bar EVERY Saturday night tossing back Long Island Ice Teas like they were going out of style, but those days are loooooong gone along with my hair and smaller sized jeans. But I recognized that this was an opportunity to break out and try something different and since I was already being spontaneous I decided to join him.

One of the bars we went to was a new bar in town, The Eagle. I guess there are other Eagles in other cities. I think it's fair to say leather is not my scene. I must have stuck out like a sore thumb. Hopefully I kept a straight face among the sea of ass-less chaps.

Speaking of ass-less chaps, I saw someone I knew there. Kristin's high school boyfriend. I wanted to say hello but he was otherwise occupied shoving his tongue in the mouth of one of the ass-less chaps boys.

And apparently, nipple tweaking is the new handshake. Who knew?

Over all it was a fun evening. It's nice to shake things up a bit and do something different.

On my way home, I noticed I had a voicemail from Homer. He's in DC visiting Jimbo and having a great time.

Thanks to the magic of technology, I am happy to present his voicemail for your listening pleasure.

Comments (6)
Permalink | File Under: Friends, Life

I give him a lot of shit because, well...he makes it so easy. He's pretty good at taking it...and dishing it out as well. Happy Birthday Adam!

Comments (3)
Permalink | File Under: Friends

Monday is Adam's birthday. I took him to lunch today and gave him his present: the new DVD edition of Mommie Dearest with commentary by John Waters.

I made the wrapping paper myself. :-)

Comments (0)
Permalink | File Under: Friends, Photos

One of the things I've always liked about Homer is he's not afraid to speak his mind. He's pretty vocal about his opinions. I also like that he's a letter writer. He writes letters a lot. I mean, like...lots.

Today, the New York Times published one of his letters AND it's at the very top of the page. How about that!

Yay Homey!

Comments (1)
Permalink | File Under: Friends

Homer is hitting the world wide web on a webcam.

Not like that. Gah. Get your minds out of the gutter Bitches.

Per his request, I called Homer while he was at work so he could wave to the nearby traffic webcam.

They say the camera adds ten pounds but clearly this one is rather slimming.

Actually, I tried to do this yesterday during my last day of work at my old job — since I was so freakin' busy — but I couldn't get it to load on the computer I have been cursing for months. Good riddance to that POS.

Comments (1)
Permalink | File Under: Friends

Homer popped into Scottsdale yesterday morning to take me out for breakfast. I don't think that makes him my Sugar Daddy® but it definitely makes him my Omelette Daddy®. It's always nice to see Homer. We once laugh about wildly inappropriate things that will no doubt secure our place in hell, if there were such a thing. Silly myths.

After that I puttered around the house pretending to do chores. Load of laundry here. Wash some dishes there. Work on a website for a bit. Uploaded photos.

Throughout the course of the day I could feel myself getting moody and cranky dreading the next morning. It is currently The Thing I Shouldn't Blog About™ which really frustrates me because this is suppose to be my outlet for getting shit out...therapy on a web server. But for many months, I don't feel like I have the freedom to do so here and THAT truly sucks.

So for the meantime, I hunker down and listen to Loverboy's "Everybody's Workin' for the Weekend" on the radio in my head and eventually my thoughts turn to tight, red leather pants and that makes me giggle. Aw, the Eighties. So much tragic excess accompanied by a Roland synthesizer.

Permalink | File Under: Depression, Friends, Music, Ranting

I give my friend Adam a fair amount of shit and good natured ribbing. Luckily, he's a good sport about it and very adept at dishing it out as well as taking it. He's also pretty good at self deprecation.

So when I realized I could alter his podcasts in GarageBand, there was only one thing to do.

Make the hottest frickin' dance track EVAH!

This one's for all the boiz out there. Turn it up and shake what ya mama gave ya!

Comments (1)
Permalink | File Under: Friends, Mac, Music, Sharing

The Dynamic Einstein Picture Maker [discovered via Aaron]

Comments (1)
Permalink | File Under: Friends

So a couple years ago, I was working from home and on what possibly could have been the most boring conference call in my entire professional career. The kind of conference call where you just put the phone on speakerphone and mute it and just let them drone on and on while you make grocery lists or doodle various suicide attempts.

During the call I got a fit of inspiration to make a surprise for Julie, the artist formerly known on this blog as The Roommate®. She had been having a particularly low self esteem week and I wanted to do something to cheer her up.

Julie has taken much good-natured ribbing from me about her annual tradition of making something she calls a "Success Collage" — a visual statement of her goals and dreams for each year. Girlfriend do like her magazines and glue so I decided to use that medium.

I grab some magazines and found the pictures I wanted and put it all together with tape and silly stickers. I posted it on her bedroom door and waited for her to discover it.

Here's what she found.

Fast forward to when Jason, The Boyfriend™, moved in. One day he was standing at their door looking at the collages. He said jokingly, "I was hoping once I moved in here she would have taken these down."

"Why?" I asked.

"Well not so much this one, but the one with the guys."

"Oh please, it means nothing."

"She has a vibrator named after Jake Gyllenhaal."

"It's a BACK MASSAGER!" (And yes, we taped Jake Gyllenhaal's picture to it and named it Jake. We like naming things in this household.)

He pouted but I told him tough noogies. They stay up.

So Friday, I decided the best thing to do was to make Jason feel better would be a collage of his own.

Lo and behold.

Comments (0)
Permalink | File Under: Friends

Adam, Kacy, Me & Dyanna

Comments (0)
Permalink | File Under: Friends, Photos

I went to Tucson today to attend Homer's 7th Annual Holiday Cookie Decorating and Craft Party in grand old Tucson. I really loves me some Tucson.

Sometimes I feel a tad out of place because the only person I know at Homer's parties is Homer, but fortunately all of his friends are very nice, friendly people. Tucson bloggers Richard (Panchesco) and Jim (Looking for Sam) were there. Jim's partner Chris made an impressive Christmas Shark out of pipe cleaners that I predict will be remembered for many holidays to come.

My hand-crafted ornaments now adorn our little tree here so to truly give it that third-grader decorative touch. I also made two holiday cards, one in honor of the Christmas Shark and one to give to Mary Mo, who is leaving The Company® for greener pastures which I don't want to discuss right now because it causes me great sadness. *sniff, sniff*

Comments (0)
Permalink | File Under: Friends, Life

Yesterday, I spent the day in Tucson with Homer to attend the All Souls' Procession. The All Souls' Procession is an annual community parade inspired by Mexico's Dia de los Muertos holiday. People dress in costume, pull alters commemorating the dead and hold photos of loved ones who have passed on.

LOTS of incense was burned at this event. *Ah-choo!*

It was truly a lot of fun. Homer made a sign to carry in the parade that had pictures of his mother's ancestors. At the end of the parade, Homer put is sign in the giant urn that would be burned at the end of the night is a celebratory bonfire.

After watching most of the parade, we joined it and walked among "the dead." This gave me a great opportunity to snag Homer's camera and take lots of pictures. Among my favorite costumes is the Praying Mantis Girl. PMG really got into and stayed in character all night.

My other favorites were the Dead Cub Scout who was cute as could be and of course Devo. When asked who they were by a parade watcher, they replied, "Devo." Then the parade watcher asked, "Who's Devo?"

Stunned silence. I shot that bitch a shocked expression.

So, they started listing Devo songs. Eventually Whip It! was the one that triggered Lady Amnesiac's memory.

"Are they dead?" she asked.

"No, but their career is," Devo #1 replied.

Comments (2)
Permalink | File Under: Friends, Life

If you are old enough to GROW A MOUSTACHE...then you probably shouldn't be trick-or-treating. My guess is that you are tragically geeky and aren't getting laid and for that, you have my sympathy so, yeah...I'll give you some candy anyway Oxy Pad.

But hats off to you on your costume selection of going as a business man and using a briefcase to collect your candy. Very clever. Your teenage companion Gandalf could benefit from some originality.

And now...a Halloween Joke for you.

Q: What does a vegetarian zombie say?

A: GRAAAAAINS!

Comments (0)
Permalink | File Under: Friends, Photos, Ranting

Thursday afternoon, Deek text-messaged me to ask if I want to go see Good Night, And Good Luck at the Camelview with he and Matt. Since I just got paid that day and needed to go fill my car with precious liquid gold and run some errands, I declined. Turns out Hugh Downs was there and did a Q & A afterwards. Deek asked Hugh what blogs he reads. Sadly, Hugh does not read mine.

Yeah, him and everyone else.

On Friday night, Deek, Matt and I decided to try a new Vietnamese place in our neighborhood. While eating our dinner, we noticed a distinguished, bald man enter and eventually sit in a booth by himself. Deek stared and noticed other people were checking the guy out too. "I think that's G. Gordon Liddy," he said.

"Does G. Gordon Liddy even live here?" I asked.

"Everyone lives here these days," he said.

Personally, I'm not convinced it was G. Gordon Liddy, mostly because I could give a rat's ass if it was him or not. When I suggested Deek go ask, he said no, citing that G. Gordon Liddy is a nutcase whack-job who'd probably go ballistic if approached by strangers. Apparently the guy heard this and shot us a look.

"Great! You are going to get our asses kicked by G. Gordon Liddy or his doppelgänger."

Last night, we were all going to go to the state fair, but Deek became violently ill either from food poisoning or good old fashion poisoning by a G. Gordon Liddy look-alike. So I did all the hot stuff a single gay guy does on a Saturday night. Laundry and shopping online for stuff to trick out my Mac mini.

I missed a couple calls while taking a shower. Apparently the Black-Eyed Peas were in town and were at the house of a Lady DJ® that lives next door to some friends. Yet I was comfy in my pajamas and in no condition to haul my ass across town, even for the Black-Eyed Peas.

After all, what would I say? "Hey....you know...like um...that song....you know the one...yeah...that was cool." I'm sure will.i.am would be all, "Who invited this cracker? and Fergie would flee for the hills.

Comments (1)
Permalink | File Under: Friends, Life

For my birthday, my bestest gal pal at work, Mary Mo, gave me Gay Haiku by Joel Derfner (the Author formerly known as Faustus, MD) because for the last few Tuesdays, inspired by Crash, I have declared Tuesdays to be Haikuesdays.

It's been a real hit. So much so that Adam and I communicated only in haikus one afternoon on instant messenger.

Brian: you know what today is?

Adam: tuesday?

Brian: no! haikuesday!

Adam: that news brings me joy
my memory is not good
but now I rejoice

Brian: i saw my doctor
he said i gained weight again
damn chester cheetah!

Adam: adam knows what's best
eating cheetohs makes one fat
must resist their draw

Brian: adam knows nothing
he said cheetos give ass sores
no sores, just big thighs

Adam: I'm drinking ginger
the spicy sweetness bubbles
yummy for my tum

Brian: i watch my clock close
less than one hour to go
tick tock hurry up

Adam: my house reeks of shit
I tried using some incense
but it is too strong

Brian: i blame your tall weeds
they grow quite high and fester
bugs will visit soon

Adam: I need some yard men
they will incarcerate me
I'm too cute for jail

Brian: i will stage a break
and free you from your prison
on the lamb we go

Adam: hire them for me?
I will pay for all the costs
you go do it now

Brian: i have a job dork
although i may get fired
because of I.M.

Adam: do it when you leave
there is not a great hurry
save me, save me now!

Brian: you must face the facts
you live in a big boy house
please don't say F.U.

Adam: I pay my mortgage
I keep the inside cleaned up
you just hire some men

Brian: with what money fool?
i make peanuts at my job
i clip coupons yo!

Adam: I said I will pay
have them send the bill to me
you just schedule it

Brian: i know a lesbian
she is crazy but mows lawns
with her ancient dog

Adam: that doesn't sound good
it will take a lot of work
I will find someone

Comments (0)
Permalink | File Under: Chats, Friends

To help secure my place in homodom, yesterday Kacy came over to teach me how to crochet.

It. Was. Not. Easy.

I felt like one of those poor schlu