I hate when I run out of everything. I drove around all weekend marking items off my list, filling my trunk and watching my bank account dwindle. Super fun! All of it was necessary stuff. Well, except for the toy sushi. That was just for fun and I think I can justify spending 88¢.

See that box in the lower right hand corner. That box contains an ultrasonic, cool mist humidifier but you can call it by the name I've given it: THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE.

That humidifier was my main reason for shopping. With the dry air and my ever-shrinking sinuses, I am in desperate need for some nighttime hydration. Humidifiers are pretty common so you'd think they'd be easy to find.

WRONG.

Well, strike that. WRONG unless you want one shaped like a penquin, a frog, a cow, SpongeBob Squarepants or Hello Kitty.

My top three requirements were 1) cool mist and 2) ultrasonic and 3) not meant for a nursery. Seems simple enough. WRONG. After going to (count them) nine stores I was this close to getting one of the kiddie humidifiers, but I could just picture this future scenario.

Me: Take off your pants.
Him: What is that?
Me: Oh, that's just HumidiPig. Ignore him.

Apparently, the entire Valley of the Sun is sold out of adult cool mist, ultrasonic humidifiers. (Well, unless you want to pay $300+ for one. The beyond in Bed, Bath & Beyond stands for "beyond my means.") So I compromised and bought one that has a fake aquarium with colored lights.

Once I got home, I set it up and promptly feel asleep. But, at least the air was finally cool and moist.

What do you see?

My friends, those are the wild, crazed eyes of one pissed off cat.

I'm not sure who hates going to the vet more. He makes this AWFUL howling noise when I put him in the carrier. He's so loud that my neighbor came over to find out if he was being sawed in half or giving birth to a Tyrannosaurus.

Of course, at the vet's office is no better because OMG WHAT ARE THOSE SMELLS and OMG WHAT IS SNIFFING MY CAGE, which is followed by the ever popular GET ME THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!

I was more unnerved by some of the pet owners in the waiting area, most of whom I would have chosen to spay or neuter. You know, to control the ick population.

The doctor was very nice and said overall, Elliott's very healthy after checking his vitals and examining him. After vaccines were administered came the most unpleasant part: the return to the mobile prison. That cat has never clung to me for dear life before. Ugh, it was a chore getting him back in that thing. I have the scratches to prove it.

He cried all the way home. It just breaks my heart to hear him in that cage.

At last night's Yelp event, I asked Korina why everyone's name tag had their first name and last initial. It is because that's how you are identified on the site, but I think there is something deeper there. It's to prepare you for your first meeting at Alcoholics Anonymous.

So, yeah. I had a little to drink last night. For the record, I feel perfectly fine this morning. In fact, I had an awesome night's sleep. I may have to give this getting wasted thing a try again.

And if you are curious about these Tidy Bowltinis, here is a photo of one I took just before pouring it down my gullet. And yes, that is the Tootsie Roll representing poo at the bottom of the glass.

Ah geez... I drunk commented on this picture last night. I was a very busy boy.

To all the people who received drunk dials, drunk voicemails, drunk text messages, drunk instant messages, drunk twitters and other forms of communications technology has enabled drunk people to use, I apologize. None of you seemed to mind. And yes, I do remember them all. Mostly.

Phone call to Julie.

Julie: When you are sober, I need to talk to you about something important.
Me: Yeah. Now would not be the time for that.

Instant messaging with The Greg®

Me: who was eleminated from a merica's next top model
The Greg: Uh, you're asking the wrong person.
Me: drunk twitterin ftw

Phone call to Deek who is moving across the country in two weeks.

Me: I love you and am going to miss you. And I'm not just saying that because I'm trashed.

Homer says "That's discgusting."

HE also says i can't edit this post to crroect anything.

THIS is wy i don't drink.

I love you all.

xxxoo

We made Hope Notes that will be distributed to girls living in Rwanda. You can read about how hopeREVO got involved in this here and here.

If you have time to make your own Hope Notes and get them in the mail by Monday, May 5th so they can be compiled and all mailed on May 14th, that would be awesome.

Also, if you could keep Odette and her daughters in your thoughts during this very difficult time, that would be equally awesome.

Do you see what I put up with? Gah.

Last Friday was Thomas's birthday. We have this little tradition of exchanging gifts in the most girly, feminine gift bag we can find. Usually in a public setting.

My favorite was when Thomas met me at Pita Jungle for my birthday a couple years ago and gave me a gift bag that looked like a purse. I'm not ashamed to admit I reused it.

One reason is because of work. I've been pretty busy lately. That's not a complaint. Busy Brian is Creative Brian. But the problem with that is by the time I get home, the last thing I want to do is open Photoshop.

Whenever I ask my friends for tag line ideas they always latch onto the "theme" of the month based on holidays and traditions. That rarely speaks to me unless I can be a smart ass about it.

Krystyn had a great suggestion:

plain white, black courier font: "no inspiration for this month's banner"

I was this tempted to do it. Then, the elusive muse finally visited me. She brought with her the bright sun. And after all the recent entries posted in the Depression category, I think this place could use some brightening up.* Don't you?

Along with the new banner, comes a new mix of songs to get your toes tapping for May.

* I'll feel very differently about the sun when it's 122° out. Which will probably be any day now.

I love this photo of Kristin. Isn't she adorable? So happy about IKEA's lingonberry drink.

And that's some smile... right? I love that smile! That smile has lifted many a mood and made many a day for me. That smile has brightened up many a room.

What I also love about this photo is you can see Kristin's amazing progress since she started eating better and exercising. This photo was taken just six months ago. Quite a change, huh? I am so proud of her.

On Mother's Day, Kristin will be participating in the Walk to Empower organized by Y-ME. Y-ME is a non-profit dedicated to providing resources, information and emotional support to those fighting breast cancer from breast cancer survivors who have first-hand experience. The best part? They do all of this absolutely free-of-charge.

You can read about Kristin's decision to walk on her blog, Healthy or Bust.

If you are able to donate to this wonderful cause and support Kristin in the Walk to Empower, I would be very grateful and I know Kristin would be very appreciative too.

You can donate for Kristin here.

Thanks.

PS - Also, if you'd like to leave her a supportive comment on her blog, that would be ultra-cool too.

Or worse yet, they hit the button three times rapidly. Tap, tap, tap.

Oh boy, I guess it will get here three times faster now. Thanks (Dumbass.)

I don't get it. Why?

Why does my cat decide to cough up a hair ball on my bed RIGHT AFTER I just returned from the laundromat for that week.

And why the bed? Why ALWAYS the bed?

Argh! Why?

Why, when you are getting busy with a guy, do you have to stop and say, "Don't put your hand there," which should be pretty clear since you've MOVED IT every time he's put his hand there.

"You don't like that?"

"Nope." Isn't the fact I've purposely placed your hand elsewhere — to a place I DO like your hand to be — indicate I don't want it where it is currently?

"But, why don't you like it?"

"Because I don't."

"But why?"

Am I suddenly making out with a toddler? Why do I need to give you a specific answer? I said I don't like it, so therefore STOP DOING IT.

Grrrr! Why?

What better thing to do when you're strapped for cash, than look at stuff you can't afford to buy!

• The new album by The Weepies is out today and you can get it for $5 at Amie Street! Now this I can afford!

• Totally rad graphic artist Frank Chimero opened a store for his awesome illustrations of the states.

• I never wear jewelry (or a watch) but I love this pendant.

• These and these make my head spin with design possibilities for banner ideas.

• I want to fill this with iced cold lemonade. Or iced tea. Or margaritas. Yeah... that last one.

Baseball is so freaking boring.

Seriously, I was nodding off in the first several innings. It is a sport of sitting and waiting for something — anything — to happen. It's like Waiting For Godot only with beer. And rednecks.

Oh and people worried about your eternal damnation.

That being said, what I LOVE about baseball is the over-saturated advertising the minute you step into the stadium. It's everywhere. Normally, I'd balk at this commercialism but I embrace it because it brings me the sheer joyous entertainment known as the Taco Bell Food Fight!

They pick three people and put them in these cumbersome costumes — a taco, a burrito and a Pepsi® — and have to run from one side of the field to the other, sometimes knocking each other over.

It's like something the Japanese came up with. And you know how brilliant they are.

It. Is. Genius!

When later happens, your site goes boom.

So. Not. Fun.

07:09

Ouch. And I have a tiny car. At least I didn't have to fill the whole tank.

07:44

This is Amy. We used to work together. She's awesome in so many ways. Years ago she started her own volunteer organization called Charity Chicks. Every year she leads a team for Make A Difference Day. This year her team cleaned out a child care center at a shelter for women and children, and I helped. After that, there was a literacy fair where we gave out sugary treats and books to the kids living at the shelter. It was really cool.

Be sure to check out Amy's blog, One Girl, Two Dogs and a Mission.

10:19

One of the rooms I helped clean. All toys are now disinfected with bleachy goodness.

11:22

That's me!

13:12

Deek's dog is very camera shy.

13:15

I had to trick her.

13:33

I had lunch with Deek today. He'll be moving far away this summer. I'm kinda bummed about it.

13:50

I loves me some hummus.

After lunch, I came home to take a short nap. 3 hours later I woke up and it was 7:10 pm. Eek!

19:49

Hrm... nothing but cheese and olives. Time to go to the store.

20:26

This is so wrong.

20:52

This is so right.

20:55

Movie night. 28 Days Later, Volver and For the Bible Tells Me So.

Initially I was going to title this post, "Drowning," but then I thought, "Oh THAT'S melodramatic, Mary. Dial it back a few clicks." Next thing you'll know, I'll start quoting Virginia Woolf and taking long, solitary walks down by the river.

You can stop rolling your eyes now. I have.

My head is full of thoughts lately. Bobbing up and down, colliding into each other. Bouncing on the surface. There's so much going on in there and yet it feels like so little.

So many things I don't want to think about.

Not yet.

And then a little treasure pops on my screen and reminds me it's not so bad after all.

And here's a little something something for you to say thanks for visiting my blog, even when I have very little to say.