Neil & Laura Smith are two of my favorite people on The Internets®. Neil is a multi-talented smartypants who works in video, makes electronic music and digs comics and sci-fi. Laura is one crafty chica with mad knitting skills and cooks food that makes me want to crash their family dinners all while being about the coolest full-time homemaker around who knows how to rock a Nirvana t-shirt. She and I are like total BFFs on Twitter, ya know.

Oh yeah, and Laura really loves her some Depeche Mode. Just a teensy bit.

They are both charming, adorable and completely hilarious, Plus they have a daughter who is following in her parents' creative footsteps and will probably rule the world one day.

Together, they have an awesome monthly podcast that makes laugh out loud every single time I listen.

As if that weren't enough, they are also two-thirds of a band called The Sleep who just released their first music video for their album Never In A Million Years.

It's dark and gothy and you'll never look at steak the same way. Check it out.

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Permalink | File Under: Movies, Music, Raving

Now bend over and get ready for your spankings!

UPDATE: I forgot about this awesome version by Glen Phillips.

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Permalink | File Under: Life, Movies, Music

Saturday, I went to Homer's 4th Annual Boiled Egg Decorating and Backyard Egg Hunt," where I finally got to meet the internationally famous Henny Penny. When visiting dignitaries, it's always a good idea to present a thoughtful gift. In lieu of an Obama iPod, I presented Henny Penny with a framed embroidered chicken.

Also, to mark the occasion, I took this teensy video of her.

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Permalink | File Under: Friends, Movies

You've probably seen the ad from the National Organization for Marriage proclaiming ZOMG THE STORM IS COMIN'!!!!! now that gays can get married in Iowa and Vermont.

My first thought is they all look like zombies, which kind of delights me since the organization's initials are NOM as in BRAAAAINS!!!! NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM.

In addition to being complete bullshit, the ad is hilarious and thus deserves a hilarious response.

Hats off to film student Brian for making this.

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Permalink | File Under: Movies

Check out this graceful back stroke.

She never spilled her drink.

Happy Labor Day, ya'll.

(If you can't see the new banner, clear your cache.)

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Permalink | File Under: Banners, Friends, Movies

Note To Self: Going to see a creepy home invasion movie at 10 o'clock at night... Probably not the best idea if you want to get to sleep anytime soon.

Every time I closed my eyes, I kept seeing that creepy fucker in the sack mask. *shudders*

While the movie was pretty good with the chills and scrares, it felt a little meh at times.

Now if they REALLY wanted to make the movie better, they would have had all three strangers be Jerri Blank!

Now THAT would have been a great movie!

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Permalink | File Under: Movies

So I've started watching a few of the movies you suggested. Here are some of what I've seen. (I would have seen more but I had a pressing need to watch Season Six of Gilmore Girls. I have my priorities, people!)

Airport 75 as suggested by Homer. The real disappointment in this movie is that neither Karen Black nor Charlton Heston dies in it. Had at least one of them died, I think I would have been more satisfied.

Loggerheads as suggested by Thomas. I really liked this movie even though it was so depressing I wanted to throw a hair dryer in my bathtub afterwards. Awesome soundtrack with lots of heavenly Patty Griffin.

The Professional as suggested by Kyle. I've come to realize over the last year, that I have a sort of ADD when it comes to watching movie at home. I never sit through an entire movie at once. I more or less watch them all in 15 minutes increments, pausing the movie to do someone else that is currently distracting me. For this movie, I didn't pause it for a whole 45 minutes! That's some sort of record for me. It's a very good film that's interesting and very expertly acted and directed. And Gary Oldman is best when he's a wacky lunatic.

My Neighbor Totoro as suggested by Alden. When I told Alden I was interested in seeing Paprika, he suggested I check out some other anime starting with My Neighbor Totoro. A long time ago, Dyanna suggested I see it. I told her I would if she watched Shoes twenty times in a row, which I know she won't unless I put her in some sort of Clockwork Orange chair and force her to. Shews!

I really enjoyed My Neighbor Totoro, but I have to admit I found the Totoro and Cat Bus a little creepy.

Next up, Mzouiser's suggestion: Fight, Zatoichi, Fight!

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Permalink | File Under: Movies

I've been browsing through my Netflix account and realize that I watch a hella lot of television shows and documentaries and rarely actual movies.

Plus the movies I have rented haven't been that great. Fantastic Four for example. Jessica Alba...plays a scientist...need I say more? And while, yes, Chris Evans is very nice to look at, unfortunately he speaks a lot during the movie and that more or less negates any positive attributes.

So I'm going to put my Netflix queue in the hands of the people. Please recommend a movie for me and tell me why you think I'd enjoy it.

Pretty please with extra butter-flavored topping on top?

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Permalink | File Under: Movies

I saw this on AfterElton.com. It's a delightful short film starring Lauren Graham of Gilmore Girls and written and directed by Jenny Bicks of Sex and the City. The film was sponsored by Glamour magazine as part of a short series taken from readers actual experiences that were developed into a film by professionals. It's such a sweet, funny and well made film and totally made me smile this morning.

Of course, now I want an empanada.

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Permalink | File Under: Movies

Writing about those movies I've seen three times in the theater (three seems to be my cap) got me thinking about one of my favorite movies I saw three times in the theater: Mulholland Drive.

When I went to see it first, I hated this movie so hard. I thought it was the biggest piece of crap. It made no sense and just a big fucked up mess.

But I couldn't stop thinking about it. Its images stayed with me. It was alluring. I had to go see it a second time. Watching it again, it started to click and I saw it for what it was: visionary. It's surrealism that doesn't make me roll my eyes. It may be weird but it's totally mesmerizing.

If you are at all interested, here is everything you wanted to know about it. But I recommend seeing it for yourself first. Maybe a couple times. Maybe even three.

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Permalink | File Under: Movies

Looking through the drawers and cluttered top of my desk, I've discovered that I have a habit of not only keeping fortunes from fortune cookies, but also movie ticket stubs. Here are a few.

• Love Me If You Dare - Not a great movie, but enjoyable and interesting enough. This was when I met Adam.

• Napoleon Dynamite - I have three stubs for this one. Yes. I saw it three times in the theater. I find that this movie is much more fun on the big screen than on DVD.

• The Incredibles - I saw this with Thomas.

• What the Bleep Do We Know!? - This is another movie I saw three times in the theater. In fact, it ran for over a year in one theater in Tempe. I think the third time, I feel asleep during it. Quantum physics...very soothing.
  
  You may think seeing a movie three times in the theater is excessive, but trust me...it ain't. I don't want to name names, but a certain someone I know saw the first of those hobbit movies TWENTY-ONE times in the theater. At 178 minutes that comes to approximately two and a half days of watching the same movie. TWO. AND. A. HALF. DAYS.
  
  Thomas, please get help.

• The Bourne Supremacy - My favorite part is when Matt Damon throws Julia Styles against the wall. All Julia Styles movies would better if she got knocked around a little in them.

• Dirty Shame - You can read about that here.

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Permalink | File Under: Lists, Movies

I’m hanging out with Kristin and Kandice and we are watching TiVo’d episodes of The Ellen Degeneres Show.

Yes, they are lesbians. Obviously, they are hard-core lesbians since they are EFFING TIVOING ELLEN. That's commitment folks.

Any who...We are watching the episode that has Ellen meeting with a hypnotist to help her stop smoking. During the show she showed this video. We ROFL and rewound to watch it again.

Okay, not really ROFL…more like ROSL since we were on the sofa.

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Permalink | File Under: Movies

..but I can't resist. The fascination with Grey Gardens continues.

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Permalink | File Under: Movies

When I was growing up, Showtime showed two movies nonstop: Smokey and the Bandit and Mommie Dearest. Cable television being the best babysitter, I must have seen each about a gazillion times. I think I had every line memorized for both. Plus, I had the benefit of having a paperback of Mommie Dearest, that I read and reread over the course of a summer another gazillion times. (A freshman in high school reads Mommie Dearest a gazillion times and everyone's surprised when he comes out? What the H?) I didn't know then what "camp" was, but clearly I was drawn to its absurdity.

Now that I think about it, there was a boy in my school who was equally engrossed by Mommie Dearest and loved quoting lines from the movie. Wanna bet me a dollar he's a big ol' Mo too.

Any who...enjoy the fun.

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Permalink | File Under: Movies

I am starting to believe that YouTube is the most brilliant invention of Le Internet® ever.

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Permalink | File Under: Movies

A few weeks ago I made an earnest attempt to watch the documentary Grey Gardens, yet every time I tried to watch my interest faded quickly. I guess crazy people don't fascinate me that much.

Maybe the film just needed a kick ass soundtrack to hold my interest.

[via Homer, who told me to go check it out at Chrisafer.]

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Permalink | File Under: Movies

So last night we watched the documentary Hell House. The film takes a look at a haunted house performed by a members of a church in Texas that is seen by over 10,000 visitors each year. The "Hell House" they perform demonstrates all the "evils" in the world that will send we sinners to hell unless we give our lives to Jesus®.

While watching it, I became very uncomfortable, not because I find speaking in tongues disturbing, but because it reminded me over growing up in Oklahoma. Many of the scenarios these people present, condemn people who are the victims of others: a sexually-abused girl is raped and commits suicide, a dying man from AIDS was abused by his uncle, etc. Yet, the abusers aren't condemned. I knew people like this. It's truly disgusting and vile.

On the other hand, if I viewed Hell House as a mockumnetary á la Christopher Guest, it is rather amusing.

I didn't get to watch all of Hell House because my DVD player crapped out before the end.

Maybe it was Divine Intervention™ saving me from watching that bile-laden propaganda.

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Permalink | File Under: Movies

To quote Jill Scott, "This is for grown folks." All ya'll with kids or nazi bosses may wanna wait to view until the kiddies and your IT spies are in bed.

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Permalink | File Under: Movies, Sharing

Not only am I secure enough with my masculinity to admit I just watched Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, I am secure enough to blog about it. To spare those of you who were planning on renting it, I offer the following Cliff's Notes version.

SOTTP is about four best gal pals, Rory Gilmore, Joan of Arcadia, Blonde Stick Figure and The Curvy Hispanic One. They've been best friends since the womb, cause you know...that's just so likely. Through a dazzling montage and voiceover we learn all we need to know about the girls first fifteen years in a matter of minutes. Rory Gilmore is the shy, quiet one, Joan of Arcadia is the one who thinks having a blue streak in her hair and a nose stud makes her rebellious. (Yeah, you and every other angry tween Joan.) Blonde Stick Figure is pretty one who is athletic and a wild child and The Curvy Hispanic One is the curvy, Hispanic one.

While shopping, the Sisterhood finds a pair of jeans that mysteriously fits them all. (Apparently they've never heard of stretch denim.) Noting the curiosity, they decide the jeans are magic and they will share them all summer while they are apart. During their last night together, they make a bizarre pact of rules to accompany the jeans WHILE SITTING IN A CIRCLE WITH CANDLES ON THE FLOOR OF THE EXERCISE STUDIO WHERE THEIR MOTHERS MET BEFORE THEY WERE BORN AND OH MY DEAR GOD I WISH I WERE JOKING ABOUT THAT.

Continue reading "Jean Therapy" »

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Permalink | File Under: Movies

I drove ALLLLLLLLLLLLL the way to central Phoenix to do my usual Saturday night volunteering gig for the homeless youth outreach program, only to remember once I got there that my shift was cancelled. I really need to start writing shit down.

So I called Adam and behold he was on his way to that part of town to look for furniture. (I've been volunteering at this place for a year and have NEVER noticed there is a furniture store across the street.) We looked at (made fun of) over-priced furniture and then decided to see a movie.

We ended up seeing The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I have never read the book. If I had I probably would have wanted my $8.50 back. As a novice to the story, it was a quirky, fun romp of a film, however after reading the New Times review, I imagine fans of the book are not as kind with their comments.

On the wacky dream front: last night I had a dream where I was hosting a big community Thanksgiving meal. Mos Def was there (sans his towel) sitting across from me. The woman sitting next to me made a comment about how much better the dinner would be if a celebrity was there. Poor Mos Def looked so hurt he wasn't recognized. He didn't even touch his dinner.

One last thing, if you go see a move the is rated PG even though it's not a "kid's movie", be prepared to see a lot of fucking trailers for kid's movies. I mean A LOT! Two movies were basically the same movie (comical coach turns a team of losers into a team of winners) only one starred Will Ferrell and the other Martin Lawrence. God help us all. The trailer for The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl made me want to slit my own throat. It was enough to send Marvin the Paranoid Android over the edge.

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Permalink | File Under: Friends, Movies

Many moons ago, this guy wrote a post about his favorite movies and I've been meaning to the same ever since. When he said "I watched Lonesome Dove for like the thousandth time the other day," I could totally relate. I have certain movies that I watch over and over and never get tired seeing.

I have to say up front, there is a difference between movies I think are great and movies I consider my favorite. Schindler's List is a great film. I just don't want to see every day. These are movies that feel like old friends you don't see every day but when you do, you instantly feel comfortable and can pick up where you left off.

Party Girl - I have seen this movie what feels like a thousand times. No other movie has seeped into vernacular as this movie has, so much so that I refer to my favorite (former) co-worker as Buttercup. There is a reason the moniker "Party Girl" followed Parker Posey for so many years in the press, she's so fucking good in it. Now, if only they'd release a wide screen version of it, my life would be complete.

Nine to Five - This runs a close second to the impact it's had on my day-to-day life. To any one who's ever heard me say, "Atta girl," this is where it is from. It is horribly dated but still seems as fresh and funny each time I see it.

Le Fabuleux destin d'Am�lie Poulain or as we like to call it here in the states, Am�lie - I remember exactly what I felt when I first saw this movie in the theater. I felt like a child seeing snow for the first time. Or coming downstairs on Christmas morning and realizing Santa was real. This movie is pure magic and has hands down the best kiss in any movie ever.

A Christmas Story - I have to watch this movie every holiday. It's programmed in my DNA. The whole bit about the leg lamp is priceless and sadly, very close to home. More on that another day.

Mulholland Dr. - When I first saw this movie, I hated it...with a passion. But it haunted me and I went to see it again. And then again. Now I own it. I can't explain why I'm so transfixed on it. Maybe it's the hyper styling. Maybe it's Naomi Watt's brilliant performance. (She was ROBBED by the Academy I tell you!) Maybe it's Laura Harring breasts, which I gotta tell you, even though I like dudes, MAN OH MAN! Is she beautiful. Of course, Justin Theroux haunted my dreams for a while too. My favorite scene is one that made me laugh out loud the first time I saw it because I thought it was just sooooo over the top but now completely fascinates me, is Rebekah Del Rio's aching performance at Club Silencio.

Sweet Dreams and What's Love Got to Do with It - When you are in college, you tend to obsess about things. Two of my obsessions where Patsy Cline songs and I, Tina. Many nights were spent listening to Patsy's sad wail. (You can hear the heartbreak in her voice.) I read I, Tina so many times, my poor dog-eared copy didn't survive long. My favorite line from Sweet Dreams: "Look Charlie! A dishwasher! Queen of Sheba."

Heathers - Okay, so yeah, I know...Winona Ryder is the only one in the whole movie how looks like they could be in high school, but so what. This script was so amazing for it's time and today, it could never be made. The world has changed way too much, but back in 1989, they hit it on the nose.

Striclty Ballroom - Baz Luhrmann's first movie and the best use of Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time".

Fight Club - When the movie starts, it grabs you by the collar and doesn't let go. It's wickedly funny and so damn brilliant. Helena Bonham Carter has the best entrance when she walks into the testicular cancer support group, smoking, and says, "This is cancer...right?" Why they keep sticking that girl in corsets for movies is beyond me.

I could go on forever but I'll stop there for now. I haven't even gotten to my favorite kind of movie, really, really bad ones. I have two words for you: Disco Godfather.

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Permalink | File Under: Lists, Movies

Like all good Americans, Adam and I skipped the presidential debates to go the movies. Well, that's not true because there was nobody at the movies. I think I may have seen a tumbleweed blow through the lobby.

Our movie of choice? The new John Waters flick, A Dirty Shame. Our conversation afterwards.

ME: How awful are we? We should have been at home watching the debates and instead we went to see smut.
ADAM: Oh please! There was more substance in that movie than in any presidential debate.
ME: Huzzah!

I asked Adam earlier this week if "huzzah" was a Renaissance Festival thing since it was on Gilmore Girls the other night and the scene was at a Renaissance Festival.

ME: Did I use the reference correctly?
ADAM: Yeah. Geek.
ME: Slut. Geekslut!

This led to a discussion about the what-ever-the-hell-it-is that is happening in D.C. with the more burly and beefy queer bloggers, and of course, whom might do whom while there.

ADAM: Why weren't we invited? I feel left out.
ME: Because they don't know who the fuck we are?
ADAM: But still.
ME: If you want we can have our own blogger thing in protest. Just the two of us.
ADAM: Aren't we doing that now?

Later the discussion turned to Chris Isaak, one of the leads in the movie.

ME: Rumor has it he has a big one.
ADAM: Really?
ME: That's the word on the street.

At our respective homes, we searched the internet for confirmation.

ADAM: All I find is a rumor of him giving himself blowjobs at parties. Hmph!
ME: You are awful. Email me those articles.
ADAM: I am clearly going to the wrong parties.

After more Googling, I gave up.

ME: I am so disappointed I can't find more about his dick. The internet has let me down. It's all the
same: likes Asian women, rumors can give himself a blowjob, blah, blah, blah.
ADAM: Again...I am clearly going to the wrong parties.
ME: You know...If I blogged about this, it would soooooo increase my traffic.

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Permalink | File Under: Chats, Friends, Movies

I saw Garden State last night. Overall an enjoyable flick. I do have two problems with it. One is the ending which I won't spoil for anyone here. The second has to do with a minor plot detail. If you don't want to know anything about Garden State, stop reading now.

The movie is about Zach Braff going home to New Jersey for his mother's funeral. During the movie we find out his has been on lithium and a host of
anti-depressants since he was ten years old. He mentions at one point, that he left his medication at home in LA and hasn't been taking it since.

Miraculously, Zach experiences absolutely no side effects from coming off his meds so abruptly. Oh, he mentions short headaches, but you get the feeling he's had those already on the meds. Considering he spent the last sixteen years on heavy medication, he's got it pretty easy coming off them.

Trust me. I know.

I haven't written about this yet. A few weeks ago, I started the long and somewhat painful process of going off my anti-depressant. I consciously decided not to blog about it for one simple reason: It's my business and no one else's.

I've noticed lately that The Internet? has a lot of opinions. More importantly, The Internet? isn't hesitant to share those opinions unsolicited. While I understand usually it is from a place of care and concern, sometimes it's just plain obnoxious. I find that obnoxiousness particularly annoying, especially now that my brain is on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.

I decided to go ahead and blog about it because 1) it's my blog and I can blog about what I want to and 2) If The Internet? has something to say about it, I can tell The Internet? to fuck off.

I knew going off my anti-depressant was going to be strange and difficult, but it's time to go off it. I don't need it any more. However, nothing I read or was told could have truly prepared me for the way I feel.

It is very bizarre. At times I feel like someone else's brain is in my head and whomever's brain it is, is a total loon. The side effects from weaning myself off the drugs include painful stomach cramps, horrible headaches, dizziness and mood swings. I described my symptoms to a girl friend and she said "Welcome to PMS!"

Girl, you'll be a woman soon.

I also get this feeling of shocks, similar to mild electric ones. Sometimes my brain feels like it's vibrating at a very high frequency. And the mood swings...dear gawd!
Oy! The mood swings. The other day, The Roommate said something to me that normally I would have let slide right off. But this time I was like a crazy person, slamming doors, getting in my car and speeding off. I went to the grocery store and was pushing my empty cart around for like 15 minutes, feeling the world move at a different speed around me. I felt so crazy. So crazy that if they made a movie about me, Karen Black would have been playing me with wild hair, wide eyes and smeared makeup. That is how fucking crazy I felt.

But I did the one thing that has truly helped me through all of this. I talked myself down off the ledge. "This isn't real. These feelings aren't authentic. This will soon be over." Amazingly, that helps me keep my focus.

After seeing Garden State last night, I kept thinking about Zach going off his meds. While I'm feeling like my body is having an electroshock treatment, he's getting to hang out with Natalie Portman and drive a funky motorcycle. I kept thinking, "Where's Zach's diarrhea? Where's Zach's horrible mood swings? Why isn't Karen Black playing Zach in this movie?"

But I guess that wouldn't make a very entertaining movie, now would it?

Comments (9)
Permalink | File Under: Depression, Movies

Yesterday, Micheale emailed me to see if I wanted to see an advanced screening
of a movie with her friend Gordon. I said sure and asked what the movie
was. She didn't know, but I thought "What the hell. It will be
good to get out of the house after being sick forever."

Once we got to the theater, the Advanced Movie Screening Guy told us we'd be
seeing The Other Side of Heaven. I recognized the movie from a commercial
I saw and whispered to Micheale, "This is about missionaries." We both
looked at each other suspiciously. What I didn't tell her was that I suspected that the film was financed by
a church.

The movie started with a narrative voiceover of the lead character over the
opening titles. Then the first scene began. Its location? Brigham Young University.

EEEEEEKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!! It's a Mormon movie!

The Other Side of Heaven is basically a huge schmaltz-fest and a 2 hour commercial for
the Latter Day Saints. It was also really bad. Really bad. The writing was awful. The
plot was episodic and dull. The acting was tepid.

My favorite scene was when the lead actor, the Missionary, learns the language
of the South Pacific island people by reading a verse in his bible and then
reading the translation in theirs. He does this non-stop for several days and
when he is finished voil�! he knows the entire language, including slang terms I
am sure are in neither version of the bible. Of course, none of this matters,
because after he learns the language, the islanders have all mysteriously
mastered the English language themselves and speak it for the rest of the film.

Every time Micheale and I looked at each other we started laughing.
After about 30-40 minutes, Micheale walked out. After about 10 more,
I joined her.

Outside the theater, Micheale and I compare critiques and started
formulating conspiracy theories. What is the purpose of having this
as a film? Why were we targeted for this viewing? Why isn't anyone
else as outraged as we were and leaving?

Once the movie ended, we watched the audience file out of the theater. We
listened as many gave their feedback to the Advanced Movie Screening Guy.

"It's a wonderful movie."
"A great family film."
"Beautifully done."
"Very inspirational."

Did these crackers see the same movie we did?

After everyone left, Micheale and I asked the Advanced Movie Screening Guy, "Do
you want to know what we thought?" So we told him. He wrote our comments down and
then disappeared.

Today, Micheale and I have been scouring the net for some article, any article,
that exposes this propaganda for what it is. So far we have found nothing. This
little crappy movie is apparently flying under the radar. Or maybe Micheale and
I are both just a bit hyper-sensitive to crap like this. Or, my personal favorite,
we're just smarter than all those people at the movie.

Yeah...that's it.

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Permalink | File Under: Movies

I saw Queen of the Damned this weekend. The commercials capitalize on the death of Aaliyah
and make it seem like she is a lead in the film. She's not. The real lead is Marguerite Moreau, the dullest actress in the entire universe. Although she is playing the only "living" person in the primary cast, she was the most inanimate and uninspired of them all. Since I knew it was going to be a bad movie, I wasn't disappointed and even enjoyed seeing it. Although I think I am going to run away from anything I see Marguerite Moreau's name attached to.

I also saw In The Bedroom, the feel bad movie of the year. The actors all gave very good performances, but I really don't understand what all the hype is about. The story was pretty predictable and at times it drags. While I thinks it's a good movie, it's not a great movie.

I've been listening to Irving, Texas born singer-songwriter David Garza a lot lately. At times he sounds like Jeff Buckley. I think his music is innovative and pioneering like Prince can be. I bought a couple of his albums on a whim and liked them so I got his latest, Overdub, a few weeks ago. On Overdub there are bonus MP3s on the disc. They sound like the demos for the albums' songs which provides and interesting contrast to the finished product. One of my favorite songs is "Let Me". It's just a simple and sweet song.

Here's what I don't like. His liner notes are crappy and hard to read. One album doesn't even have any, just the packaging. On his latest album the are all printed in one big run on paragraph. That's not amusing David. Obsessive audiophiles like myself like reading the liner notes. Here's the format I like: Title, Lyrics, Performers.

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Permalink | File Under: Movies, Music