Initially I was going to title this post, "Drowning," but then I thought, "Oh THAT'S melodramatic, Mary. Dial it back a few clicks." Next thing you'll know, I'll start quoting Virginia Woolf and taking long, solitary walks down by the river.

You can stop rolling your eyes now. I have.

My head is full of thoughts lately. Bobbing up and down, colliding into each other. Bouncing on the surface. There's so much going on in there and yet it feels like so little.

So many things I don't want to think about.

Not yet.

And then a little treasure pops on my screen and reminds me it's not so bad after all.

And here's a little something something for you to say thanks for visiting my blog, even when I have very little to say.

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Permalink | File Under: Depression, Drawings, Music

Has it really been THREE WHOLE DAYS since I last posted? After the blogpostpalooza, I thought I might be on a roll and continue posting daily. But instead (much to the chagrin of a certain someone), I decided to forgo blogging this weekend and enjoy a rare occurrence here in The Valley Of The Sun®.

Rain.

Wet, dark, cold rain. Such a beautiful sight. The sun beats down on us so much here, that we loves us some gloomy weather.

The best part is waking up and hearing it rain outside. Then when it stops, the sun starts to break through, trying to reclaim its territory.

So awesome.

Something else that's awesome, is Patty Griffin's song, Rain.

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Permalink | File Under: Music, Photos, Raving

It was bound to happen sooner or later this month. I'm too exhausted to blog properly this evening. My eyes are heavy and I'm dragging myself to bed soon.

But before I publish this pitiful excuse of a post, I want to share this awesome video of Duran Duran shot at a concert a couple weeks ago. I've been watching it over and over.

I love that they don't try to un-80s themselves in any way. Leather suits + techo background + little drum machine = like totally rad.

And a bonus is that Nick Rhodes actually cracks a smile.

Also, John Taylor is still hot.

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Permalink | File Under: Music

A few weeks ago when I asked Homer if he'd go see Josh Rouse with me, his response was, "I don't even know who that is." But being the good sport he is, he agreed to go any way.

We had dinner at Grill and once again, I had the most health conscious item on the menu.

Looking at this photo I took of Homer last night, I realize he's wearing the exact same thing he wore the last time we ate at Grill in April. Weird.

How is it that I've lived in Arizona for ten years and never been to Club Congress? I've been by it plenty of times and attended a few concerts across the street at the Rialto, but never even set foot in the door. What a shame that is, because I now have a favorite venue for seeing concerts. The show was awesome. Small, intimate but not dive-y or gross. And the stage is beautiful. Josh and his band did a great set of songs and played all of my favorites, including Love Vibration.

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Permalink | File Under: Friends, Music

Click here to view a larger version.

Inspired by Oranges and Graphic Design by They Might Be Giants

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Permalink | File Under: Drawings, Music

Yesterday, Dyanna came over and we decorated cookies for the hell of it. Dyanna is by far a mos def better cookie decorator than I but I gave it a good shot.

While we were listened to the 80's music station on cable, head bopping to Wham and Richard Marx, I realized that I think my high school reunion was this weekend. I decided a few months ago not to go. Since moving, I don't really have it in my budget to afford any traveling right now. It would have been nice to see some folks I haven't seen in a long time, but it's also nice to pay for air conditioning since it is 147° outside.

I know this is Pride weekend for many of you. So just for you, I made a very special cookie.

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Permalink | File Under: Friends, Music, Photos

Thomas and I are having a two-night concert-going-palooza. Tonight we are going to see Nickel Creek, which is good since they are taking an indefinite break following this tour and they were such a hoot last time.

Tomorrow, we are driving to Tucson to see Andrew Bird, who is purely sublime. Seriously, if he's ever in your town, go see him. It's amazing to watch him perform.

I'm going to try to talk Thomas into stopping at the ostrich farm on the way. I told him it was mainly so I could post more mocking photos of him on The Internetz®, as if I don't give him enough crap as it is.

I give Thomas a lot of shit and good-natured ribbing. It's purely out of love. He is one of my best friends. Out of respect for him, I decided NOT to post his birthday ecard for all The Internetz® to view on his birthday.

See Thomas, I can show restraint some times.

Of course...

Today's not his birthday, so the man who saw the first Lord of the Rings movie a total of TWENTY-ONE times IN the movie theater back to being fair game. (The ecard is after the jump.)

Continue reading "Tix & Thomas" »

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Permalink | File Under: Friends, Music, Thomas

Inspired by Keith at BFF, I sifted through my iTunes last night to make my own 90s mix.

• Groove Is In The Heart - Deee-Lite


• Constant Craving - k.d. lang


• Man On The Moon - R.E.M.


• I'm Diggin' You (Like An Old Soul Record) - Me'Shell Ndegeocello


• Knockin On Mine - Paul Westerberg


• All I Wanna Do - Sheryl Crow


• So Much Mine - The Story


• I Alone - Live


• God - Tori Amos


• Rollin' With My Homies - Coolio


• Where Will I Be - Emmylou Harris


• Right Hand Man - Joan Osborne


• Taffy - Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories


• Sick Of Myself - Matthew Sweet


• Time Bomb - Rancid


• Possesion - Sarah McLachlan


• Desperately Wanting - Better Than Ezra


• Locked Out - Crowded House


• Criminal - Fiona Apple


• Down Together - Refreshments


• Everlong - Foo Fighters


• When My Ship Comes In - Jill Sobule


• Fall Down - Toad the Wet Sprocket


• Sale or Return - bis

What are some of your favorite songs of the 90s? Please share or you'll get the business end of Adam's cat Corky.

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Permalink | File Under: Lists, Music

Driving into work this morning, I turned on the radio just in time to hear the Mix 96 Ooh Yeah song of the day. Today's was Mr. Roboto by Styx.

At a stop light, and I see the guy in front of me with his hand up. He's sort of waving it like a conductor when I realize he's listening to the same song. I love catching people rocking out in their cars lost in the moment. Unfortunately, when he saw me watching him, he quickly stopped. At the next light, I was in the lane next to him. He was a bit further up from me, but I could still see him. Then he slowly started to inch forward so he's be out of my view.

"Aw...it's okay Mr. Roboto," I said to myself. "You should see me when The Pretenders' Middle of the Road is on."

What song makes you rock out?

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Permalink | File Under: Music

We all have them. Here are a few of mine that I'm willing to own up to. (There's at least one that I would NEVER reveal publically...for now.)

• Bootylicious by Destiny's Child


• Daybreak by Barry Manilow


• Dance, Dance by Fall Out Boy


• God is a DJ by Pink

What are some of yours?

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Permalink | File Under: Music, Photos

• This is a pretty cool acoustic cover of Outkast's Hey Ya from a local band.

• Have you gotten your copy of Womenfolk, Volume One? No? What are you waiting for? It rocks. Just buy it already. Gah.

• Driving home from dinner with Adam Sunday night, I heard this song on the radio so I googled the lyrics until I found it. I should probably be appauled that I like a song with the word breasteses in it, but it's just so damn infectous. Like chlamydia.

• Sondre Lerche...how do I love thee? Let me count the ways. Thank you for this little slice of heaven.

• The Greg™ has added to my obsession with the song Only by Nine Inch Nails with this sweet mash-up with Kool & The Gang's "Get Down On It."

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Permalink | File Under: Music

A couple years ago, Robbie told me he was thinking about starting a music blog devoted to women singer-songwriters.

Soon after, he launched Womenfolk. It very quickly became very popular not only catching the eyes and ears of people yearning for independent and obsure female singers, but also garnering attention of the artists themselves, many of whom have contacted Robbie to submit their music to his site.

With Womenfolk, Robbie has created something very special: great music, well-researched biographies, a beautiful and elegantly designed website...all in one lovely package.

And now, he can add record producer to his list of accomplishments. With the second anniversary of this MP3 blog, comes the first compliation album featuring thirteen songs by some of Womenfolk's favorite artists.

I bought my copy last week and it is an amazing set of tracks. I encourage you to check it out. It really is worth it.

Congratulations Robbie!

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Permalink | File Under: Music

I've been getting my Eighties on lately. Not sure why. Maybe I'm feeling nostalgic. Maybe I just want to listen to something fun. Here's some of the rotation.

Wouldn't It Be Good by Nik Kershaw - The original. Not that crappy version on the Pretty in Pink soundtrack. I spit on that one. I was completely mesmerized by the white glowing suit.

No More Words by Berlin - Three Words. Mutha effing Bonnie & Clyde. Nuff said. Wait. Was that four words?

The Metro by Berlin - I've always thought this work well in a acoustic, slowed down version.

Speaking of acoustic and slowed down, check out this awesome remake of You Spin Me Round. That's some good stuff.

The Waiting Game by Squeeze - It's off the same album as 853-5937. One of my favorite 3/4 songs.

Hero Takes A Fall by Bangles - Before the Pop days of the big ass hair and Walk Like an Egyptian. (Oy. How many times did I do that dance.) It was the first song on that album. I'd rewind my Walkman and listen to it over and over.

Brass in Pocket by The Pretenders - Hands down one of my favorite songs of all time. It's just so perfect.

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Permalink | File Under: Music

regretfully
i guess i've only got three
simple things to say:
why me?
why this now?
why this way?
with overtones ringing
and undertows pulling away
under a sky that is grey
on sand that is grey
by an ocean that's grey

grey — Ani DiFranco

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Permalink | File Under: Music, Photos

Homer popped into Scottsdale yesterday morning to take me out for breakfast. I don't think that makes him my Sugar Daddy® but it definitely makes him my Omelette Daddy®. It's always nice to see Homer. We once laugh about wildly inappropriate things that will no doubt secure our place in hell, if there were such a thing. Silly myths.

After that I puttered around the house pretending to do chores. Load of laundry here. Wash some dishes there. Work on a website for a bit. Uploaded photos.

Throughout the course of the day I could feel myself getting moody and cranky dreading the next morning. It is currently The Thing I Shouldn't Blog About™ which really frustrates me because this is suppose to be my outlet for getting shit out...therapy on a web server. But for many months, I don't feel like I have the freedom to do so here and THAT truly sucks.

So for the meantime, I hunker down and listen to Loverboy's "Everybody's Workin' for the Weekend" on the radio in my head and eventually my thoughts turn to tight, red leather pants and that makes me giggle. Aw, the Eighties. So much tragic excess accompanied by a Roland synthesizer.

Permalink | File Under: Depression, Friends, Music, Ranting

I give my friend Adam a fair amount of shit and good natured ribbing. Luckily, he's a good sport about it and very adept at dishing it out as well as taking it. He's also pretty good at self deprecation.

So when I realized I could alter his podcasts in GarageBand, there was only one thing to do.

Make the hottest frickin' dance track EVAH!

This one's for all the boiz out there. Turn it up and shake what ya mama gave ya!

Comments (1)
Permalink | File Under: Friends, Mac, Music, Sharing

I have a feeling I am going to go into diabetic shock before the 25th. There is candy ALL OVER the place at my work. As if that weren't enough, people are bringing in homemade candy and cookies to pass out. I hope Jenny Craig has group rates cause we are going to need it.

So to retaliate and not add to the madness, I decided to not make holiday candy to give to my co-workers, but instead a mix CD of holiday tunes. I snagged a few of them from Womenfolk. Check out what's available. There's some cool stuff there.

Holiday Mix 2005

The Christmas Waltz - Peggy Lee
Christmas Time Is Here - Shawn Colvin
Blue Christmas - Bright Eyes
All That I Want - The Weepies
Let It Snow - Luscious Jackson
Christmas Song - Stevie Wonder & India.Aire
Baby, It's Cold Outside - Zooey Deschanel & Leon Redbone
I'm Gonna Lasso Santa Claus - Brenda Lee
Merry Christmas from the Family - Jill Sobule
What a Wonderful World - Russ Taft

But then I had a change of heart and decided to add to the madness and made candy anyway.

Peppermint Bark

2 16 ounce packages white chocolate chips
3 cups puffed rice cereal
1 7.5 ounce package hard peppermint candies, unwrapped

Spray a 10x15 inch rimmed (tee hee) baking sheet with nonstick cooking spray; line with waxed paper.

Double bag and then crush the shit out of your candies. I used a wrench because I'm just a butch stud like that.

Melt the chocolate chips in the microwave. Stir in the cereal and spread to the edges of the pan.

Sprinkle the crushed candy and cover with another piece of waxed paper. Press and then chill in the fridge.

Break apart and enjoy the minty deliciousness.

Happy Holidays Everyone!

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Permalink | File Under: Cooking, Life, Music

Calling all dykes and boys who love dykes.

Get this album...like right now! It kicks ass.

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Permalink | File Under: Music

Many months ago, Andrea Scher posted about a lovely evening having a concert by one of her favorite groups smack dab in her home. She suggested giving them a listen. I did and I was instantly smitten with them and made a mental note to buy their CD.

Finally last week I ordered it and today it arrived. It's been filling my home with its folky pop goodness all evening.

The Weepies don't technically rock, but in my heart they do. They have the perfect mix of light melodies and beautifully blended harmonies.

Give All That I Want a listen. It's perfect for this time of year. It's even got sleigh bells.

While I'm at it, I'd like to say a word about CD Baby. Without a question, the do indeed rock. While music today is dominated by a soulless corporate record industry, they provide a great service to independent musician and the people who love them. They champion musicians and singer songwriters who would never be given a chance to find an audience or airplay. (Corporate Radio®, I spit on you!) And they have excellent customer service to boot. If I remember correctly, I placed my order on Thursday evening, and I received it today...in two business days. And they send you cute emails.

And while I'm spreading The Love?, a few words about Andrea. I've said it before, but it bears repeating. She is simply amazing. Do yourself a favor and visit her phoblog. While there, check out her suggestions for DYI gifts in her Gift Guide.

Speaking of amazing, let's talk about Homer's party. First, Homer himself is just a big sweetheart. He is a gracious, warm host. His home is so frickin' cool. Very cozy and fun. I'm not sure which I heart more, Homer or his house. I may have to collect more data before I make a final determination.

I had the pleasure of meeting many of Homer's friends including fellow bloggers, Doug and Jim. Cookies were decorated and crafts made. I was particularly proud of my contribution: a Hasidic Jew fashioned out of pipe cleaners. I hope it adorns Homer's tree for many years to come.

Mazel Tov Homey! Thanks for inviting me to your party.

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Permalink | File Under: Music

This morning while on the bus, I read the following in The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times by Pema Chödrön. (Hey Zenchick. Lay off me for not knowing how to pronounce her name correctly. Geesh.)

"All too frequently we relate like timid birds who don't dare to leave the nest. Here we sit in a nest that's getting pretty smelly and that hasn't served its function for a very long time. No one is arriving to feed us. No one is protecting us and keeping us warm. And yet we keep hoping mother bird will arrive."

She goes on to ask: "Do I prefer to grow up and relate to life directly, or do I choose to live and die in fear."

This was one of those moments that hits you. A light shines down. A crack in the dam releases a trickle of water and can ultimately become a flood.

Although it seems like a lifetime ago, I remember very vividly my life in Oklahoma prior to moving to Arizona. I was miserable. I felt like a complete failure. A college graduate managing a small department in a retail giant barely making above minimum wage. I'd get up every morning with a definite "time to make the donuts" mentality. A gay man in a small city of only a hand full of homos. Every day I felt my life slipping further and further away from me. I'd go to work, come home, watch TV or read and go to bed. I was that timid bird in a smelly nest.

Once I decided to move to Arizona, I was rejuvenated. I felt alive for the first time in a very, very long time. It was an exciting, scary adventure, but I was ready for it. I packed all my things and The Cat and drove under the cover of night into the desert. I smoked too many cigarettes and listened to Live and The Refreshments over and over. I'd talk to The Cat who was drugged up, yet very unhappy in his pen in the backseat. I was on my way to a new life.

It was very exciting at first. A big city with highways and malls and many more job opportunities than my little hamlet had to offer. I found a new job quickly and found myself transforming into someone new. New job, new friends, new experiences. I was refreshed and looked at the world with new eyes.

After a few years, I found myself settling in to old patterns. Slowly depression and fear kept me alone at home. I withdrew from those I loved and felt afraid to break out of the confines I created. Although hundreds of miles away, I felt very much the same as I did living in Oklahoma.

The rest of the story you've probably already read. The past several months have been remarkable and I truly feel like a new man. I have left many nests to get where I am. I no longer wait for mother bird. I'm not saying I am nest-free, but there are fewer in my cul-de-sac than there were before.

In the beginning of her book, Chödrön speaks of a lesson she learned when she was a little girl.

"We can let circumstances of our lives harden us so that we become increasingly resentful and afraid, or we can let them soften us and make us kinder and more open to what scares us. We always have this choice."

I just sat there looking at her, wishing I knew what to say, but I knew I could offer nothing to help her, so I sat in silence. I felt very sad for her but knew that I could not help her. She has to help herself. She has to choose to accept the fear and pain that life brings her to open her heart instead of letting it become calloused and impenetrable.

I felt both powerless and very sad for her as I sat there, thinking about my own heart. Taking risks, whether it is a transition such as creating a new life, searching for a new job, or dating, always leaves us venerable. And it is a very scary place to be. But oh, the rewards we earn from taking that kind of leap are so very worth it.

and they can call me crazy if I fail
all the chance that I need
is one-in-a-million
and they can call me brilliant
if I succeed
gravity is nothing to me
moving at the speed of sound
I'm just gonna get my feet wet
until I drown

— Ani DiFranco - Swan Dive

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Permalink | File Under: Music, Thinking

Mother, mother, you're not listening any more
I am still the little boy with his height notched on the door
And it seems that my life has not turned out cut and dry
And it should have been love, love that showed you why

You cannot deny, you cannot deny me now

Father, father you are making a big mistake
I am not a shiny trophy, or another call that you forgot to make
And I have listened very closely to every word you have not tried
And it should have been love, love that showed you why

You cannot deny, you cannot deny me now

Oh my Lord, why's it taken you so long?
To give me grace and the dignity to right these wrongs
I will lead today, and I will follow you tomorrow
When the gloaming of my life, brings the promise of a peaceful night
And there's just one thing that I need to know

That you will not deny, you will not deny me now

- Jonatha Brooke

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Permalink | File Under: Music

Last night, The Roommate and I went to see Ben Kweller who opened for Death Cab For Cutie. I love, love, love live music but I hate, hate, hate the experience that goes with it.

Of course when we ordered our tickets, we were charged about twenty bucks in service charges and
miscellaneous fees. We intended on picking up our tickets at Will Call, but for
some reason had to pay a "handling fee". Go figure. And naturally since they
have the only lot any where near the venue, they charged to park there.

Sign of Aging #1. Bitching about exorbitant fees.
Sign of Aging #2. Bitching about parking.

Walking to the front door, I noticed that aside from the cop on duty, we were the oldest people in line. Two of my least favorite words: All Ages. Once inside, I saw a few people older, however we were the oldest people not
accompanying their children.

Sign of Aging #3. Realizing you are the oldest person in a crowd.

Entering the venue was a chore as well. There was a boy's line and a girl's line. In the girl's line, The Roommate had her purse searched. In my line, I not only had to empty my pockets and disclose their contents,
but also get frisked...twice.

Sign of Aging #4. That uncomfortable feeling that comes with being frisked by a twenty-two year old with a bad hair cut.

The venue was one of those giant floors without any seats, so that meant standing a lot. The Roommate wore the wrong shoes and well...I'm just old and so is my body, so standing for many hours started hurting my back.

Sign of Aging #5. Bitching about your back and/or feet hurting.

The venue was in desperate need of air conditioning...something I consider to be a sin of great proportions in the desert. My guess is since it was an All Ages show, they kept it
hot so all the tweens and such would pop down their allowance on the highly over-priced bottles of water.

Sign of Aging #6. Bitching about it being too hot.

BK was awesome. He is a great performer, but the show was TOO FUCKING LOUD. Towards the end of his set, I thought my ears were bleeding from the piercing volume.
No, Not bleeding, just sweat dripping onto my ears.

Sign of Aging #7. Bitching about music being too loud.

I am seriously going to have to reconsider my next concert going experience before deciding to go. Maybe some nice folky lesbians will be better for this grumpy old man.

Comments (8)
Permalink | File Under: Music, Ranting

Voting

I went to vote in the primary yesterday. I was very discouraged that
1) there wasn't a line to stand in when I got there (I was in fact the only
voter there) and 2) when the poll person pointed on the list for me to sign my
name, there were no other signatures. This was at 4:45 PM. Very
disappointing. What is it going to take to inspire people to vote?

Mourning

The loss of Nita's Hideaway.
Nita's was the best place to see local and national acts. Its
closure is a really sad sign for all music in this area.

Listening

What is it about the latest Pernice
Brothers album, Yours,
Mine & Ours, I like so much? It it their sweet soothing voices and
lush harmonies? Is it their catchy hooks? Is it that they remind me
a bit of The Judybats? Perhaps it's all of
these things. I am still kicking myself for not getting to see them last
time they were in Phoenix.

I have been listening to Rosie Thomas's
song Wedding Day in constant repeat. It is a perfect little song. The
rest of the album is pretty good too, but this song really stays with
me.

Monday I received a wonderful surprise. Robbie,
someone I've never met but whom I suspect is as kind as he is creative,
generously offered to make and send me a CD
compilation of songs by Lisa Germano, one
of his favorite singers. I knew this was being delivered, but what I didn't
know is how much effort he would end up putting into it. This CD is
amazing. He hand picked 22 of his favorite song, even formatted
some songs so they blended into each other seamlessly. He designed a
booklet complete with lyrics (he actually typed all the lyrics!) and
artwork. It's a wonderful introduction to an artist who's talent I am
growing to admire. Thank you Robbie!

Leaving

I leave tomorrow morning to fly to Raleigh/Durham, North Carolina to visit my
friend Diana. She's only been gone about 6 weeks, but I already miss her
dearly. I'm looking forward to spending to time with her. I'm not
looking forward to freezing my ass off. I am spoiled by the desert and
will probably freak out at the temperature being in the low forties. I'm
going to take this opportunity to shop for a good coat. I don't own a
coat. Since moving to Phoenix, I've never needed one. I think I
should get one just for things like this.

Comments (0)
Permalink | File Under: Lists, Music

Wah.

That's all I can say. I've been sitting here, trying to write something to post and every time I read it back it is so gloomy and whiny. You don't want to read that kind of crap...do you?

Suffice it to say that over the last couple month I have sunken into a bit of a depression. However, I will spare you all the "woe is me" bullshit and instead post more about the music I'm interested in lately.

My Detroit
Cobras CD was delivered today. It's terrific. Very retro, but with a real grrrrl-eque twist. These are some hard drinking, chain smoking mamas belting out these covers. I heard a song of theirs during an episode of Angel. (Yes, I watch Angel regularly. I am such a 14 year girl.) It was at the very beginning of the episode. It rocked. I immediately knew I had to have it, but of course, they didn't do the "tonight's episode of Angel featured music by..." thing The WB regular does. So I did a bit of internet research. Needless to say, trying to find out about a song and band without knowing either's name was a bit of a challenge, however in about a half hour I had both. (Thank you fan message boards!) Then proved another problem. No album I could find, had the name of the song on it's track list. After about another half hour I discover the song, "Hey Sah-Lo-Ney" was incorrectly listed on the album as "Hey Sailor".

February 24 can not get here sooner. I have been listening to Jonatha Brooke's new single Better After All in constant rotation and I am ready to hear the entire album. If Better After All is any indication, this may be her best album yet.

I ordered a few CDs from Paste Music today. Paste Magazine went on and on last year about Over the Rhine's OHIO, giving it five stars (they've only done that for two CDs), so I decided to give them a whirl. There's a song I've had stuck in my head for weeks but I couldn't remember who it was or what it was called. When I finally took the time to look it up, it turned out to be by Over the Rhine so I'm pretty sure I'll end up liking it.

Shane Nicholson's It's a Movie is on the way. The song Nice to Be Here was on Paste Magazine's last sampler. I actually stop what I was doing to listen to the song. It was was that good.

Not only does Paste sell music and write about music, they also have a record label. (Talk about synergy.) So I'm giving one of their albums a try. Bill Mallonee was on a recent sampler and that song stuck in my head for a while. What can I say, I am a sucker for a great hook.

Now I've heard Lisa Loeb should have a new album out in March. Patty in April. Indigo Girls in a couple weeks.

This was supposed to be the year of responsible spending. That is going to be seriously challenged over the next several months.

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Permalink | File Under: Music

I have had the song Heavy Metal Drummer running through my head in a constant loop this evening.

shiny shiny pants
bleached blonde hair
a double kick drum
by the river in the summer
she fell in love with the drummer
another
then another
she fell in love

Damn that Wilco for writing such a catchy
song, causing it to get stuck in my head, forcing me to pull out the CD to play
it over and over again thus reinforcing the looping to continue. It's a conspiracy I tell you.

Another song I have been obsessing over lately is Ani DiFranco's Swan
Dive. Well, this isn't anything new. I've been obsessed with the
song on and off for a couple years now. I must have like 6 different
recordings of it, each a little different from the other. There is
just something so pure, honest and personal about it, that it stays with me.

I teeter between tired
and really, really tired
I'm wiped and I'm wired but I guess it's just as well
because I built my own empire
out of car tires and chicken wire
and I'm queen of my own compost heap
and I'm getting used to the smell

After giving up trying to figure out the way odd tuning on my own and Googling it
(like I
should have in the first place), I've been learning the chords and such on my
guitar. Of course, I don't have the super industrial Nailene
brand "action length" fashion nails Ani uses to make her playing come
alive, but don't think I haven't thought of running the Sally's Beauty Supply to
find a set in extra large nails for myself.

Oh..the paradox of Ani's fake nails. During her performance last year, she
broke one and stopped between songs to reapply another. Someone in the
audience yelled out, "Ain't bein' a woman a bitch?"

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Permalink | File Under: Music

"Where the hell are the artists, where are your voices, why is no one
speaking up, we're about to go to war and our names are on every one of those
bombs!!" - Patti Smith speaking at the Future of Music Conference
in Washington D.C.

"Every morning I get up and I watch the war...and every morning it
upstages everything I know." - Jonatha Brooke from her song War.

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Permalink | File Under: Music

I'm in Eighties nostalgic overload today. The Roommate got Before
You Were Punk: A Punk Rock Tribute to 80's New Wave in the mail
yesterday. I heard about this album when I was in a Hello Kitty store
several months ago. (Don't ask why I was in a Hello Kitty store. I just
was.) I overheard the music playing over the PA and asked what it was. I wrote down the
name of the album, but still haven't gotten around to buying it. The Roommate beat me to
it. So, I borrowed it this morning to listen to at work. (She had it
for 12 hours...it's that enough?)

Now...say what you will about the Eighties, and Lord knows I have enough scary
VH1 Before They Were Stars-ish photos to be embarrassed about, but the music was
pretty damn fun. (Okay, not all of it. There
was some crap.) You can't
not tap your foot and/or smile during
Turning Japanese or Goody Two Shoes. You just can't. I dare you to
try.

Also, call me dense, but I never realized until today the implication that the
guy in 867-5309
(Jenny) got her number off a bathroom wall. Ew! (I must have been a
dense teenager suffering from the toxic fumes of applying tons of Aqua Net to my
perfectly coiffed hair.)

Every time I go to the gym, there is a different style of music playing. One day
it's Hip Hop. Another will be Alternative Creed-esque Rock. After
sampling the variety, I must admit that Eighties music is pretty good music to
work out to. It's much better than that Trance bullshit they were playing
a few weeks ago.

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For about a week now, I've had this extremely annoying song stuck in my head.

I heard it in a store last week. I don't remember which store or which
day, but I remember the song. It plays over and over in my head. Once I think it's
gone, it comes back.

If I could remember where I heard the song, I'd probably go back there and hurt
someone.

It's one of the more annoying tunes of the Eighties. You may remember
it. It's by the family group The Jets. It's called "Crush On
You".

Actually, I don't remember the whole song. Just two measures. Over and over and over and
over and over.

"The words you read, my heart?s been displayed / You found out I?ve
got a crush on you"

Until I looked up the words, I didn't know the first ones, just the "You
found out I?ve got a crush on you" part. So my version sounds
like this:

"Blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah / You found out I?ve
got a crush on you"

This must be hell.

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I'm
cleaning out some files & old emails today and I ran across the results of an informal
poll I conducted with friends and coworkers in April 2001.

If the
Bangles
and the Go-Go's
were to get into a fight, who do you think would win?

Bangles 60%
Go-Go's 37.5%
Unsure .5%

Total Votes: 40

61% of women and 59% of men polled preferred the Bangles over the Go-Go's.
Among my co-workers the Bangles were favored 62.5%.

While those from my high school chose the Bangles by 60% over the Go-Go's at
40%, it is interesting to note that all the men voted for Susanna Hoffs and
company and the women chose Belinda Carlisle et al.

Don't discount the Go-Go's completely. In Texas, they were favored by
68% and in Washington, Utah and Illinois they racked up all 100% votes.

The Bangles however we chosen by 75% of Oklahoman and 68% of Arizonans and a
whopping 100% in Georgia and California.

So what exactly is the cause for the Bangles victory and the Go-Go's defeat?
A number of factors were cited. Most who voted for the Bangles did so out
of love for their music. While many die hard Go-Go's fans accused the
Bangles of being "a bunch of posers", supporters of Bangles referred
to them as "tough looking" and "full of attitude".

Perhaps the popular series VH1
Behind the Music is to blame for the Go-Go's downfall. Many were
convinced the Go-Go's past history would affect their chances of winning.
Among the comments were, "The Go-Go's are a bunch of old, dried-up,
ex-drug addicts."

However don't discount the Go-Go's completely. By far the most
persuasive and compelling argument for the Go-Go's came from a friend of mine at
work, Michael.

The Go-Go's, and I'll tell ya why.....

Finally,
Urgh!
A Music War - Small flick...Came out in the early 80's.
Starred The Police, the Dead Kennedys, Surf Punks, and many
more...including The Go-Go's. When ya see them in this movie, with
their original bassist and two lead singers, (well..Belinda is so big
she looks like two singers) you will have no doubt who the victor will
be.

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Poor Lisa Loeb. She
put out a
fine, dandy little album and then her record
company doesn't spend the money or take the time to promote it. So she, like so
many other
frustrated artists, left her big fat cat corporate label for
greener, albeit smaller, pastures.

In order to release her album again on a new label, she had to make some
changes to it so it's not exactly the same previous album. I can just
imagine slick guys in slick suits being more than happy to release her from her
contract but remind her that Cake and Pie is their property.

I remember reading that the label the Cowboy
Junkies were on decided to release a greatest hits compilation without
even consulting the band. They posted their anger and frustration on
their website and asked fans to not buy the album. They went as far to
post the songs on their website and let people burn a copy for free.

Bottom line: Corporate music sucks. It's soulless and without any
substance or artistry. It's only reason for existence is commerce.

Mini Sidebar Rant: Corporate radio is just as bad. It seems like all the
radio station are now own by one guy
and they all play the same play lists over and over and over, which is why I
never list to the radio.

In other news, she's posting again.

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Two weeks ago I started suffering from a horrible allergy attack that turned into a nasty sinus infection. I was a good boy. I took time off work, slept a lot, drank plenty of fluids...the usual. I started to feel a bit better last week but have still been taking it easy because I am not 100% yet. Yesterday I started to feel crappy again but this time it's different. Now I have this dreaded coughing and a runny nose.

The real pisser is this. I had tickets to see Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers at their CD release party on the 16th. Like a little trooper I waited all day to see if I would get better before I called my friends to cancel. They were disappointed. I was disappointed. Money down the drain. But ultimately I did the right thing and stayed home and drank fluids and got plenty of rest etc.

Tonight I was supposed to see the goofy Brazilian concert pianist in concert. The real draw is my friend D is doing something in the show. It's top secret and he won't tell me what but he has alluded to the fact that it is embarrassing and he will be making a fool of himself. I, of course, don't want to miss that, but sadly I will have to because the cough medicine, she calls to me.

Now...I have displayed a Job-like patience throughout my suffering. I actually took time off work. (Something I rarely do). I have tried to keep my whining to a minimum. (I said tried.) I have used more Kleenexes in two weeks than I use in a year and have consumed more medications than I care to think about. But my patience is wearing thin.

Tomorrow night is the Ani DiFranco concert and I will not, repeat, will not miss it. I don't care if I have to lug a box of Kleenex with me into the theater...I will be there. I don't care if I have to suck on Hall's lozenge after Hall's lozenge until the final encore...I will be there. I don't care if I look like Death's ugly stepsister amidst all the righteous babes in their halter tops and bandana head wraps...I will be there. I don't care if my voice is more growly than Tom Waits...I will be there!

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I saw Queen of the Damned this weekend. The commercials capitalize on the death of Aaliyah
and make it seem like she is a lead in the film. She's not. The real lead is Marguerite Moreau, the dullest actress in the entire universe. Although she is playing the only "living" person in the primary cast, she was the most inanimate and uninspired of them all. Since I knew it was going to be a bad movie, I wasn't disappointed and even enjoyed seeing it. Although I think I am going to run away from anything I see Marguerite Moreau's name attached to.

I also saw In The Bedroom, the feel bad movie of the year. The actors all gave very good performances, but I really don't understand what all the hype is about. The story was pretty predictable and at times it drags. While I thinks it's a good movie, it's not a great movie.

I've been listening to Irving, Texas born singer-songwriter David Garza a lot lately. At times he sounds like Jeff Buckley. I think his music is innovative and pioneering like Prince can be. I bought a couple of his albums on a whim and liked them so I got his latest, Overdub, a few weeks ago. On Overdub there are bonus MP3s on the disc. They sound like the demos for the albums' songs which provides and interesting contrast to the finished product. One of my favorite songs is "Let Me". It's just a simple and sweet song.

Here's what I don't like. His liner notes are crappy and hard to read. One album doesn't even have any, just the packaging. On his latest album the are all printed in one big run on paragraph. That's not amusing David. Obsessive audiophiles like myself like reading the liner notes. Here's the format I like: Title, Lyrics, Performers.

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I saw Blast last night. I heard it was like Tap Dogs & Stomp. It's really not. It's more like marching band on crack. It's pretty amazing to see. The performers' energy and enthusiasm is really infectious. When the show is over, they leave the stage and go to the lobby. Some stand around the auditorium and say thanks and shake hands, while the others are in the lobby still playing. The thing that is so cool is they are having so much fun and you are really taken in by that.

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Check out Jonatha Brooke's version of Emmanuel. It's a duet with Kevin Gilbert who was one of the musicians on Sheryl Crow's Tuesday Night Music Club.

In other news, My friend Nicole is building an online gallery to feature her artwork. I really miss her.

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If you are looking for something a bit non-traditional for Christmas, I recommend You Sleigh Me: Alternative Christmas Hits. It's not a great album, but there are some really nice songs. I really like Tori Amos's version of Little Drummer Boy. I can do without anything by Donna Lewis (ew!). There's a song that Juliana Hatfield wrote for the TV show, My So-Called Life. Dillon Fence's (who the hell is he?) song sounds like mopey 80's music, but it has a certain charm.I bought this album for one reason, Jill Sobule singing Merry Christmas From The Family. It's funny as hell. Here's a sample:

"Brother Ken brought his kids with him
The three from his first wife Lynn
And the two identical twins
from his second wife, Mary Nell
Of course he brought his new wife Kay
Who talks all about AA
Chain smoking while the stereo plays
Noel, Noel, the first Noel."

Ah. Reminds me of my childhood.

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I've been listening to the Roches? Christmas album, We Three Kings. I just got it yesterday. The Roches have unusual sounding voices but they make beautiful harmonies together. (You may recognize them from background vocals on Indigo Girls' Rites of Passage.) The album was recorded in 1990, so it sounds a little corny and dated. It?s not so much putting me in a Christmas mood rather than putting me in a Christmas mood a decade too late.

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Being the end of the year, I thought I'd ring in with my five favorite albums of the year.

musicforthemorningafter
by Pete Yorn

I'm not sure if I can truly express how I feel about this album, but I will try. This is the best fucking rock album I have heard in a long time. I have being listening to it pretty much non stop since I bought it in August. I can't really do it justice in a review, however I found one that summarizes how I feel.

Innovative without calling attention to itself, musicforthemorningafter raises the bar on straight-up rock & roll and, in a perfect world, might just divert attention away from the TRL juggernaut to the solid song compositions that Yorn offers. Yorn?s self-deprecating enough not to be pompous, abrasive enough not to be sentimental, and bizarre enough not to be safe. His voice sounds like he?s channeling Paul Westerberg, but his guitar rhythms and drum patterns tilt and whirl like a game of pinball, providing momentum when his lyrics could begin to get sappy. Instead of letting sentimentality get the better of him, he lets the music undercut his voice and spins all the elements together into miniature sonic masterpieces.

The only complaint I have is that it's an enhanced CD that doesn't really do much. It has a link to his website and you can play the CD. Big Whoop.

Abulum
by Glen Phillips

I have been a terrible mess since my beloved Toad the Wet Sprocket broke up, so when I saw Glen Phillips was releasing a solo album, I was one of the first in line. However I must issue a warning. If you are looking for Toad, this ain't it.

Clearly, he has gone through some shit since the band broke up and lucky for us, he's decided to share it. Glen is adept at both writing songs of both personal stark introspection (My Own Town) and songs that tell a story (Drive By), but it's also his choice of instrumentation that makes this a beautifully textured collection.

Steady Pull
by Jonatha Brooke

I have a confession to make. Although I have been a huge fan of Jonatha Brooke and her old band, The Story, for several years, I didn't really like this album very much when I first listened to it. When I first played Steady Pull, by song two, it was clear this was some sort of "pop" album and I think that's what put me off. Anyone who knows me knows I love acoustic chick music ("just give me a girl strumming a guitar singing a sad song.") so it was kind of a shock to hear one of my artists going "pop".

Then I actually listened the album. Jonatha's songwriting has remained consistent...insightful, intelligent and catchy. Her voice is as expressive and strong as ever. As the songs started to grow on me I realized they really work in this new style. They work very well.

Now for what I don't like. This summer I was at my friend Micheale's . She bought this album based on my suggestion and had it playing. Then a song came on I hadn't heard. After inspecting the CD case, it appears Borders released the CD with three bonus tracks. Those bastards! I really hate that kind of marketing trickery. I still have yet to buy this bonus CD out of spite.

Fan Dance
by Sam Phillips

Sam Phillips writes the music for the Gilmore Girls, the best TV show you're not watching. (Don't let the fact it is on the WB scare you.) In between scenes, she does the "la, la, la" incidental music that helps set the tone of the show. That sound is present here, but this album has a lot more in its short set of 12 songs.

It is an intimate quiet album that is very stripped down and not overdubbed. That's what makes it so sublime and subdued. Her songwriting is an exercise in an economy of words and phrases, which lends to its simplicity.

Factoid: Turns out Sam first began as a Christian music singer named Leslie Phillips in 1984. Apparently by the late eighties, she became frustrated artistically with the restrictive constraints of Christian pop , denounced her association with it and started recording under the name Sam.

Essence
by Lucinda Williams

Have you been dumped? Need to wallow in some self pitied misery? From the first song titled, Lonely Girls, you realize this is album for such an occasion. When I first started playing the album I had to turn it off. I had to wait about a week of so to really get into it. You see, when I bought it, I was too happy. I had to be in a certain frame of mind to truly appreciate it. It's not an album you listen with anyone but yourself.

Lucinda is by far the most elliptical songwriter there is. By comparison, Essence makes Sam Phillips' Fan Dance sound complicated and wordy. These are songs that are laid back, pure, simple and unpretentious.

I know a lot of people resist Lucinda because of her whiskey-soaked gravel voice. It doesn't always have the endurance to sustain the yearning she wants to express. Her voice is one of her flaws, but it is also one of her charms. It's that kind of unabashed imperfection that makes Lucinda and Essence a true America original.

Honorable Mentions

Revelling/Reckoning
by Ani Difranco

I couldn't in
good conscious put this album in my top 5. I only like one CD in the 2 CD set. Revelling is a wonder fusion of Ani's unique finger picking, songwriting, jazz and funk. Reckoning is a little too contemplative for me. Maybe one day, I'll be in the mood to really listen to it.

Quick
by eddie from ohio

eddie from ohio
is a quirky little band from Virginia who defy genres. Amazon.com's editorial review says it best:

Virginia-based (go figure!) eddie from ohio are not an outfit you can easily tuck into a genre. Folk, pop,Latin, a cappella, jazz, mariachi, Celtic-- this album's a pizza with
everything to go. With a strong catalog of independent work already behind them, including 1999's exceptional Looking out the Fishbowl, they have plenty to live up to, but Quick is virtually flawless thanks to its sardonically witty lyrics ("Lovingcouples, holding hands / Shop and play hoops, making plans / Share a purpose,
share a bed / Those loving couples, I wish they were dead"), ace musicianship, and harmonies so smooth they make maple syrup seem like coconut husk by comparison. Every track is a flavor burst, but check out the airplay-worthy title track; the nutty, doo-wop "Let's Get Mesolithic"; and the a cappella gospel gem "Great Day." eddie from ohio have already made a small mark, now they deserve to break out. Quick may just do the job.

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