Happy Thanksgiving!
Last night was the All Souls Procession in Tucson. This was my fourth year going. It was also the twentieth year for the procession.
It. Was. Pure. Awesome.
I love, love, love this parade. The people. The costumes. The alters. The memorials. The community. Everything about it rocks.
John came with me this year. We had an impromptu photo shoot in Homer's back yard.
Usually Homer & I carry signs about current politics, but this year, I made a sign for Elliott to take.
I saw some friendly, familar faces.
And met some new ones. Meet Jessica.
After I took their picture she asked, "Are you cheap blue guitar?" I don't know why but that always throws me. She was lovely and their costumes were terrific.
I focused more on the people this year. The alters are beautiful and I love the stuff people make, but the people bring such a great energy to this event. People celebrating loved ones who have passed away. Celebrating their community. Celebrating each other. It is truly one of the most beautiful things I experience.
There are tons more pictures on Flickr, or you can see them below.
Hey! Look what I got today.
Let's take a look inside.
Look familiar?
A few months ago, the kind folks at This Is Why You're Fat emailed me asking me if they could use my photo for their book. I had no idea it was on their site.
When they asked me what I wanted my credit listed as, of course I used it as an opportunity for shameless self promotion.
Guess what everyone's getting for Christmas this year. :)
This is why Facebook is completely evil.
I'll give you a few minutes to stop laughing.
Finished? Good.
Saturday a friend of mine from high school posted a few photos from a band trip we took to Epcot during our junior year. While in France® we watched a performance of Renaissance Street Theater. They pull people out of the audience to be characters in a humorous take on a famous play. The one we watched was Romeo & Juliet. I was picked to be Marcucio.
I blame the shorts. We called them "jams" back in the day.
Hawt, right?
As for the shirt, if I'm remembering correctly, it was an inside joke we had that had something to do with Billy Joel's Piano Man.
I think I could OD on nostalgia on all these. We. Are. So. Young. It was so long ago and yet, in some ways it feels like yesterday.
Good times.
My new printer-scanner is being delivered tomorrow. Photographic revenge will soon be mine.
(You're still laughing aren't you?)
This weekend has been more busy than usual. SO many birthdays this month! Including mine!
Friday night, we celebrated Kandy's birthday at Dave & Buster's in Tempe.
It was a fun night despite the SHITTY service from our douchey server. Unfortunately, I'm ancient and was falling asleep around 10 PM.
Saturday during the day, Julie and I hung out to celebrate her last weekend as a single gal. She and Jason are getting married this week.
We had pizza near where we used to live, shopped for shoes (OMG! Shews.) and then did something Julie loves... a mani/pedi.
This was my first time. It felt weird. Kinda ticklish. But otherwise, very relaxing.
Then last night we celebrated Mason's birthday.
It was a nice evening. Good to meet Mason's friends too. His friend Frankie made Redneck Sushi which should so be featured on This Is Why You're Fat. To be honest, it was more like an eggroll than sushi.
First Cookie Science and now the making of Redneck Sushi. Enjoy!
Photos are on Flickr here, here, here and here.
So it's been a while. There really hasn't been much to say lately expect to whine and complain about the constant pain. The nerve pain is starting to go away but like my doctor told me, it's going to take a very long time
Very. Long. Time.
Ugh.
I was encouraged yesterday morning when I woke up and felt no pain. NONE AT ALL. Of course that quickly ended when I got out of bed and sat dawn.
Ouch!
I have a follow up with my doctor this morning and more physical therapy on Wednesday. I've been trying not to go all Valley of the Dolls with the pain medication, but some days I can't survive without it. And truth be told, it doesn't help that much.
See what I mean about the whining and complaining? I've been a real treat to be around lately.
Any who... yesterday was Kristin's 8th Annual Birthday Bowling Bonanza. I opted out of the bowling and instead took pictures. You can see them below or on Flickr.
Oy! What a week! Last Friday night, I felt the familiar pang of diverticulitis. And by "pang," I mean "excruciating abdominal pain."
I ordered my prescription that night and started taking it the next day. I've taken these medications a few times. They have never made me so sick to my stomach before. I've been nauseous all week. And one leaves a horrible metallic taste in my mouth. Bleah.
I was reading the labels the other night and one says, "May be used to treat or prevent Anthrax exposure."
o_O
You know what that means, right? Hey Terrorists! BRING IT ON! Hit me with your best shot Jihad.
Again, bleah I say.
Adding to the "fun," I've been dog sitting all week. Meet George.
And Brownie.
They are very sweet, hyper animals who have convinced me to finally go on record as a Cat Person®.
Dogs. Are. Exhausting.
Srsly.
In between being sick and tackled by a pit bull mix every night, I found time to see the Chihuly exhibit one last time before it closes. This time with John. It was a lot of fun.
Photos are posted at Flickr or you can see them below.
Last weekend, I visited Gayle in Chicago. It was an awesome, super fun trip full of good food, lots of beer and great friends. I got to see Matt, who moved back last year (I miss him so much) and my lovely friend Nicci whom I haven't seen for many years. Also, while there I met the one and only Matt Blender, who is just an all-around great guy.
I think I may have fallen in love with Chicago this weekend. I can definitely see myself living there. I am already planning my next visit.
Photos from my trip are on Flickr or you can see them below.
Today, The Greg® and I soaked up plenty of vitamin D while enjoying the Chihuly installation at the Desert Botanical Gardens.
Photos are posted at Flickr or you can see them below.
One of my favorite Threadless designers has opened his own shop. His t-shirts are awesome. Check them out at Glennz.com.
I made my valentines for charity tonight to send to fredflare.com.
Does using glitter foam stickers count as "hand made" or is that cheating?
There's still time for you to make yours! Get them in the mail by January 15.
This weekend was Kristin and Kandy's (almost) annual holiday party. There was a smaller crowd than usual, but it was really nice. Everyone got a chance to visit with everyone else.
Kate, who's in the above photo, sometimes reads my blog so here is a special message just for her.
HEY KATE. STOP SMOKING!!!!
I capitalize and bold that with all the love in my heart.
Kandy and Kristin got a Wii for Christmas. I had fun kicking everyone's ass playing darts and trivia. But then the lesbians started playing golf.
Typical.
I'm trying out a goatee. I'm not sure how I feel about it. Any thoughts?
Other photos are on Facebook and Flickr.
Today was the grand opening of the Phoenix Metro Light Rail. John, Jason and I walked to our local station to check out the train while it still has that new car smell. Guess who else wanted to check it out.
EVERYONE!!!!
Any more people and we are gonna need a lubricant here.
Other photos are on Facebook and Flickr.
The holiday parties continued this weekend. And so did the crafts. I went with John to his friend Mike's to make gingerbread/graham cracker houses.
And now I present to you the fruits of our labor.
Here's mine.
For the record, those are topiaries in front of the house. Although, Mike claimed it was very Lord of the Flies looking.
Here's John's.
Welcome to Haus Bukkake. I think John used half the bowl of icing on his lovely A-frame house.
Here's Mason's.
We are borg.
Actually, I think it looks a little like Homer's house.
Mike was still working on his house. Very meticulous, that one. But it was shaping up quite nicely.
This is Shawn's house.
A double wide trailer complete with an outhouse, fallen over snow man and half dead front lawn. White trash is the new black. It reminds me of one of my favorite holiday songs.
It's a scientific fact that all the best holiday songs have the word tampon in them.
Other photos are on Facebook and Flickr.
Homer's party was a ton of fun. Lots of great food, even greater people and lots of crafts to make.
Decorating cookies is always a fun table.
It was nice to get to catch up with Ray and Cobban. Check out Ray's mistletoe tie.
I made a special card that reminded me of my childhood.
I wonder who'll receive this extra special card.
There are more photos on Flickr. Happy Holidays!
Denver was lovely. It was good to see Thomas and spend time with him. I miss him dearly. The snow was nice and it wasn't really that freezing. In fact, I had to take the lining out of my super duper new coat because it wasn't nearly cold enough for all those layers.
Friday, Thomas took me for a short tour of Denver University's campus. And showed me these creepy benches that look like lips.
File them under: WTF!? Could they be more creepy? Why yes they can! They talk too.
For most of the weekend, Thomas and I just hung out, watched it snow and ate carbs. The rest of the time, I forced him to watch ALL EIGHTEEN EPISODES of Freaks and Geeks and other DVDs, including Paprika which I think blew his mind. Three words: Animated vaginal fisting.
To quote Valerie Cherish's Aunt Sassy, "I don't need to see that!"
On my last day, I watched this little guy hanging around while the snow melted.
Cute, right?
I know I said I wanted it to snow while I was in Denver, but gee whiz. I say a lot of things.
Thomas and I drove to Red Rock today but when we realized we were the only people on the road not in a four-wheel drive, we just took a brief look and then followed this guy home.
He's my hero for today.
I haven't seen snow since 1998. Eeee!!!
What? Was no tofurkey available?
It was a lovely meal of sides/carbs. I am happy to report that you can make a bitch's Corn Casserole Yumminess in the Mile-Hile City.
After dinner, I crashed. Traveling always makes me sleepy. Later, I forced Thomas into watching six episodes of Freaks and Geeks, so I'd say it was a pretty super holiday.
Yesterday, I had breakfast with Mary. Isn't she adorable? We ate at The Farm at South Mountain which is a lovely place to eat outside now that it's no longer so hot one spontaneously combusts under the hot Arizona sun. But I will say, they have this trees with little flowers that fly all over the place during so you have to protect your food from tree debris every once in a while.
This is what Mary ordered.
The Farm Monte Cristo. Isn't this genius? All the goodness of breakfast in sandwich form. And it's on french toast! And there's syrup! Brilliant.
When they brought it out, I had breakfast menu, although mine was pretty tasty as well.
Mmm... sausage.
Insert joke here _________.
In general, Phoenix is politically lazy. It's hard to get people fired up and more difficult bringing people together for a common cause. Blame it on the suburban sprawl or inert apathy, or heck, blame it on the heat. Whatever it is, it's not every day when the people take to the streets.
So to see almost two thousand people banned together to support civil rights, is quiet an achievement. That number may seem small compared to our population, but trust me. For this area, that's huge.
I am so happy that Homer came up from Tucson to go with me. Being Mr. Popularity, he of course ran into a bunch of people he knew, including Frank.
One thing that bothers me about this movement is racial divide I see being promoted based on the media's ad nauseum reporting about exit polls showing 70% of African-Americans voted for Proposition 8 in California.
First, let me say this. The media is full of shit. This is not the first time they have beat a story – that's not really a story – to death over and over because it's either a slow news day or just to make something sound much bigger than it is because they are in it for the ratings.
Exit polls are notoriously an inaccurate representation of what's really going on. They survey a small percentage of voters after they leave their polling place. Many times it have been proven to be faulty data but the media treats it like pure unquestionable science.
I repeat, the media is full of shit.
There were many different categories of voters polled during the election that were either close to or over 70%. The media singling out the black polling data is not only racist in of itself but it's also race baiting. Shame on them.
During the numerous speeches at today's protest, one speaker, a state senator, specifically pointed out that African-American ministers directed their congregates to vote for Proposition 8 & 102. Hey guess what. LOTS of preachers, ministers and priests spoke from the pulpit in favor of these measures. Shame on them but moreover shame on YOU, Mr. Representative, for focusing on the black preachers in today's speech.
Ugh. Rant over. (For now.)
Despite this, I am encouraged by what I saw today. I saw a polarized, historically apathetic community respond with passion, vigor and unity. I saw people of all shapes, sizes, colors and types joining together for the good fight. It was in so many ways a beautiful day.
Many photos are on Flickr or can be viewed below.
Kristin, Kandice and I are making our posters for tomorrow's big ass national protest. Hopefully, Homer will be able to come up from Tucson to join us.
This year's All Souls Procession was HUGE! There were so many more people there than years before, which is amazing since the procession was so much later after Halloween and Dia Del Los Muertos than usual.
Homer, Sandy and I made tombstones commemorating the loss of gay rights.
After being so angry about the passing of anti-gay constitutional amendments, it was so awesome having people come up to us thanking us for making the signs and telling us they support us and it will be overturned. One girl came up and hugged us. Tucson is a very cool, progressive town.
I took a ton of pictures this year. They are on Flickr and below.
Look! It's Amy!
Yesterday I had lunch with Amy, Megan and cutie patootie Piper at Switch.
Last night, I watched The Invisible so you don't have to. DON'T SEE THIS MOVIE. For reals. It's SOFA KING bad. It's not even bad in a good way. It's bad in a "I will never get that hour and forty-two minutes of my life back" way.
Marcia Gay Harden must have needed to make some mortgage payments or something because I can't fathom why she would choose to be in this movie.
Did I mention it's bad?
Today, I'm off to Tucson to see Homer and Sandy and get my paradin' on at the All Souls Procession.
Tuna Girl rocks SO HARD. This hot t-shirt was waiting for me when I got home.
When I opened it, the little Teen Beat inside of me squealed. Then I thought, "Wait. How did she know?"
I didn't remember I had written about my boyhood crush on Shaun Cassidy a long time ago. How sad is that?
I hung out with Kandy and Kristin to pass out candy tonight.
When I asked Kandy who gave her her pearl necklace, she didn't get it.
How disappointing.
Later Cara and Korina showed up. Korina makes a good Winehouse.
The other pics are on Flickr.
I hope you all had a Happy Halloween!
I got this at the State Fair last weekend for $15. I had to have it.
Cheap? Check. Blue? Check. Guitar? Aaaaaad check.
Um, like didn't we already vote about this a couple years ago. Aren't there more pressing issues to deal with today? Apparently some people just aren't satisfied unless they are hatin' on the gays.
Proposition 102 is a needless distraction and a painfully obvious divisive measure. If you live in Arizona, please vote no on 102. Tell your politicians to stop wasting their time with discriminatory bullshit like 102 and do what they were elected to do.
Other pictures from today's No on 102 rally are on Flickr.
Yesterday, Dyanna, her mom Sylvia, The Greg® and I went to the Arizona State Fair. It was great fun but SOFA KING hot out. Bleah. Seriously. When is Not Summer going to begin?
They had a million deep fried on a stick option. The Greg had deep-fried crocodile bites. I'll say that again for empahsis. DEEP-FRIED CROCODILE BITES!
I opted for deep-fried dill pickles since I couldn't find deep-fried cheese on a stick.
Then we got to the real reason for attending a state fair.
Jackpot.
I still can't figure out how one deep-fries M&M's. It defies logic.
I had a deep-fried moon pie which sounded good at the time but was actually kinda gross.
And see all that powdered sugar? It gets on EVERYTHING! Note to self: NO powdered sugar.
Check out the rest of the photos on Flickr.
Geez. Do I still have a blog? It's like a houseplant I forget to water or grandparent I never call. Remember when I used to blog all the time and not just because Daniel forced me to?
Yeah, me either.
It's mid-October and it's still hotter than fuck here. However, The Greg® and I braved the heat and went to the Roosevelt Row Harvest Festival.
Why would we, you ask? Two words.
Pumpkin bowling.
The Van That Thought Out Loud was also in attendance. I of course took it as an opportunity for some shameless self promotion.
Other Harvest Festival photos are on Flickr.
I should really invest in barware.
I spent the weekend in Tucson visiting Homer. He says he's smiling in this picture.
Oh, and check out Homer's new ride.
I bet this baby gets great gas mileage.
We had a fun weekend playing with his many cats, shopping at dollar stores and making fun of rich conservatives.
As for the rest of the weekend, it started with this...
and ended with this...
And that's all I'm going to say about that.
This one goes out to Ricker who loooooooooves him some proper grammar and spelling.
Someone brought a package to my desk at work today.
Hang on. This looks familiar.
It's from Cute With Chris!
My very own Pervy the Horse T-Shirt! I am so wearing this to the polls when I vote in November.
I showed it to John after I opened it. He said, "That is a violation of the dress code."
What does he have against donuts? Or maybe he doesn't like yellow.
There was also a note.
Thanks Homer!
It was my turn to bring Friday Treats for work today. I think I chose wisely.
C'mon people! It's barely September. Geesh.
They really went all out for my birthday at work.
Okay people. Brace yourselves. This is what 39 looks like.
Scary, huh? I didn't blur the photo by the way. My camera's flash is starting to crap out. (Hey Oprah, I'm still waiting.)
In celebration of my final year of my third decade, I present you with this special hand-crafted birthday mix. Enjoy!
And if that's not enough, there is also this little gem. (Thanks Nicole!)
Yesterday, I let The Greg® talk me into walking around downtown in the late afternoon to take pictures.
What was I thinking? It's really fucking hot, yo.
That's what they say at least.
I have to admit, I love graffiti and murals.
Make clicky here to see the rest.
Silly Thomas. When I told him we were going to celebrate Kandy's birthday at Dave & Buster's, an arcade for grown folks, he thought he'd need these.
In his defense, he hasn't been to an arcade since they used quarters. I broke it to him that most laundromats don't use quarters either.
See the other photos here or below.
I hope you are having a happy fourth, however you are spending it. Here's a little clue how I'm spending mine.
My Benevolent Blogger donation for this pay period is to donate to Matt's marathon fund.
Remember, if you make a donation of at least $40, you can get your very own hand-signed set of postcards from Secret Simon/Alden.
Also, more and more people are joining Mike Lawson's Benevolent Blogger Project. Visit Mike to learn more about the project and how you can get involved.
12 of 12 is a monthly photo challenge created by Chad Darnell. To learn more, visit the 12 of 12 archive. Here's this month's complete list.
07:06
Sending Curtis a little sumptin sumptin on his birthday.
08:16
Elliott hacked up a hairball this morning so I covered my bed in plastic in case there was a repeat performance.
08:37
I have to drive on the freeway to get to my new job. Fortunately, traffic is going the other direction.
13:03
We had pizza at work. Nom nom nom nom.
13:38
John wanted to make a Starbucks run. I don't know what's reflecting on his face. Must be the sheer brilliance of my job skills.
17:47
I'm not sure what I order but I remember the barista said it had SIX PUMPS of raspberry syrup. "Six pumps" sounds naughty.
19:27
No mail for me.
19:27
He had a hard day of napping.
19:59
I had burgers and beers with John, since seeing each other for eight hours a day isn't enough.
20:28
Some of the best fries ever. And they were piping hot!
20:30
I can has cheezburger?
20:57
Nineteen minutes later, they were all gone.
First, remind me to NEVER make that face again.
Second, don't get used to this look.
The recruiter's email told me to "dress to impress," so I assumed that meant "wear a suit." I am SO not a suit person.
For your listening amusement, my thoughts on wearing this suit.
Last night I arrived at Thomas's for our ritual Friday Night Dinner® (Just like the Gilmores, only with less judgement) and SciFi channel palooza. I walked in with a canvas bag filled with markers, stickers and index cards. I held it up and exclaimed, "I brought us something to do!" He looked a little worried.
We made Hope Notes that will be distributed to girls living in Rwanda. You can read about how hopeREVO got involved in this here and here.
If you have time to make your own Hope Notes and get them in the mail by Monday, May 5th so they can be compiled and all mailed on May 14th, that would be awesome.
Also, if you could keep Odette and her daughters in your thoughts during this very difficult time, that would be equally awesome.
My friend St. John invited me to Saturday's Diamondbacks game. I like the idea of baseball. It's all American like apple pie, afterall. But every time I go to a game, I forget one thing.
Baseball is so freaking boring.
Seriously, I was nodding off in the first several innings. It is a sport of sitting and waiting for something — anything — to happen. It's like Waiting For Godot only with beer. And rednecks.
Oh and people worried about your eternal damnation.
That being said, what I LOVE about baseball is the over-saturated advertising the minute you step into the stadium. It's everywhere. Normally, I'd balk at this commercialism but I embrace it because it brings me the sheer joyous entertainment known as the Taco Bell Food Fight!
They pick three people and put them in these cumbersome costumes — a taco, a burrito and a Pepsi® — and have to run from one side of the field to the other, sometimes knocking each other over.
It's like something the Japanese came up with. And you know how brilliant they are.
It. Is. Genius!
I meant to get going much earlier this morning, however that last item has taken top priority. Oy!
I came home early from work because I felt like crap. I self medicated with a vigorous dose of simple carbs, Netflix and then slept it off. I woke up feeling much better.
Homer was in town for work so we went out for pasta.
The pasta was okay but kind of meh.
Homer had some cake. I declined on having dessert since I ate cookies for lunch but I had a taste. It was super chocolatey and moussey.
Our server thought it was weird we were taking pictures of our food. Srsly? She's never seen this before? The internet is filled with people taking pictures of their food.
As we left, she asked if I wanted to take her picture.
Sure lady. Whatever floats your boat.
Elliott's new favorite activity is sitting in the windowsill and watching the world in his limited view. He's probably watching all the birds around the bird-feeder or my neighbors having sex. Could be either.
It's liquid Christmas.
It's dessert in a can.
It's disgustingly awesome.
After months of lusting after one, I finally bought a Mr. Bento.
And now I've made my first submission in the Mr. Bento Porn pool on Flickr. Awesome.
This of course reminds me of a song from The Jerk. Equally as awesome.
If you are new to this, check it out here.
08:33
I woke up late today. Well, actually I woke up on time but I hit the snooze for about an hour and a half.
Please ignore my dusty car clock.
08:57
You know what's funny? I cook breakfast for myself just about every day. But for the last three months, on the 12th of the month, I've picked up breakfast on my way to work. Weird.
09:29
My work's holiday party is this weekend. We've hired an 80s cover band to play, so we've been asked to contribute embarrassing photos of ourselves from back in the day. Here I am scanning a polaroid taken before senior prom.
I had not intention of going to prom, but three days before I was asked to take this girl from choir. Don't we make such a cute couple?
Can you feel our burgeoning teenage sexual chemistry?
A few observations about this photo:
09:52
Korina and I have been very into America's Next Top Model this season. Every Thursday we mark the contestant who was sent home with a Post-It of a face with "dead eyes."
Here, Korina is taking risks with her photos.
09:53
We are moving our cubes and stuff around so my little silver tree is no longer by a plug. But we've added lots of toys and the Dashboard Diva is performing her Christmas Extravaganza.
Something about this reminds me of Christmas Evie.
(Loves me some Jack Plotnick.)
12:39
I intended to show you lovely pictures of the sushi we had for lunch, but I forgot to put the memory stick back in my camera. Doh! So I took a picture with my cell photo.
No amount of Photoshop can make this look better.
13:01
Walking back to work, we stopped in the Scary Lady Thrift Store across the street, where I saw this little gem.
17:40
I tend to be a little bah-humbugish about the holidays, but I do enjoy seeing this tree in the hallway every day.
17:40
After work, I went to find some new jeans. I lost a little weight this summer and all my jeans are baggy in the ass.
I'm digging these ultra dark ones.
18:52
Next I stopped at SUPER Target. It really is super. I feel its power when I walk inside. A power that compels me to fill my cart and spend my money.
19:29
This one goes out to Thomas.
20:17
I capped off the evening with some ANTM and Miss J's afro.
I'm happy to report my ANTM Fantasy Team came in 25th place overall. Go me!
Bonus: BELIEVE
I believe that pets make for excellent companions. When I come home, Elliott's happy to see me. And not just because his food dish is empty.
I received an email from Sandy this afternoon. He's in town for a couple of days before heading to Tucson this weekend and asked if I was free. For international bloggers? Of course I am!
We had dinner at Cafe Istanbul which never disappoints. (Mmm..shwarma!) It was great meeting him and learning about his life in Sydney. We'll see each other this weekend at Homer's too.
Has it really been THREE WHOLE DAYS since I last posted? After the blogpostpalooza, I thought I might be on a roll and continue posting daily. But instead (much to the chagrin of a certain someone), I decided to forgo blogging this weekend and enjoy a rare occurrence here in The Valley Of The Sun®.
Rain.
Wet, dark, cold rain. Such a beautiful sight. The sun beats down on us so much here, that we loves us some gloomy weather.
The best part is waking up and hearing it rain outside. Then when it stops, the sun starts to break through, trying to reclaim its territory.
So awesome.
Something else that's awesome, is Patty Griffin's song, Rain.
From everyone's favorite can of hearts of palm.
The can of hearts of palm also would like you to take a moment to read this. It's good reading for today.
Dear E & J Brandy,
Your love is like bad medicine.
Bad medicine is what I need.
Me love you long time,
Brian
Update: Since no one was entering our work's "Best Group/Department Costume," we did and won. Easiest $25 ever.
I finally figured out what to do with that can of hearts of palm.
This costume is very versatile. Just flip the back part around and bring it to the front for...
Darth Vader or Lord Dark Helmet? You decide.
The Mummy. A classic. Plus, it's the toilet paper with the lotion. Very soothing for the can.
Get it? It's hearts of palm that's dressed as a palm tree. Get it?
A can of Trader Joe's Cajun Style Black Beans. Clever disguise.
Not to be confused with the other Tin Man.
My personal favorite: Frida Kahlo.
Kristin and I met Korina and Cara the Downtown Phoenix Public Market. I bought vegetables for a salad I was making to take to Liz and Eric's that afternoon. I didn't get any green tomatoes but ZOMG! don't they look so good?
I love Cara's t-shirt.
Later at Haus Ubersax, everyone took turns holding the baby.
Baby's First Beer.
To see other pictures, make clicky here.
Returning a missed call from Kristin.
Me: What's up?
Kristin: I can't remember if you are eating healthy or not.
Me: Depends.
Kristin: Well, Aunt Patti made all this food: ham, mac and cheese, dressing, fried green toma...
Me: I'll be right over.
Click.
I have the best neighbors ever.
And lucky us. We get to store the leftovers at our house.
After participating in the 12 of 12 project last year, I intended to do it more often. And then an entire year went by.
Oh well.
06:34
Further proof of my forgetfulness is that I was supposed to have had blood drawn last week. It kind of slip my mind, so I needed to go today. My doctor's checking my cholesterol, so I had to fast for the test. Any one who knows me, knows that breakfast is my favorite meal of the day, so I was ready to get that blood drawn so I could eat.
07:39
I actually have two of these because she couldn't get blood from the other arm.
I look like a junkie.
08:19
What better way to reward myself for getting my cholesterol checked than by having the BIGGEST FUCKING OMELET. I believe they called it an everything-but-the-kitchen-sink omelet.
09:29
Fridays are publishing days for the site so there is always lots to keep me busy. Brewing tea for iced tea helps.
12:41
Tim and Matt met me for lunch at Fuego Bistro. I love how the lady in back decided to be in the photo as well.
13:18
We split this yummy creation made of bananas, chocolate and walnuts.
Most. Phallic. Desert. Ever.
14:14
I always see self taken bathroom mirror shots on Flickr, but have never taken one until today. (I put the camera on the hand towel dispenser and set the timer.)
15:33
Busy making pretty, pretty for teh intarwebs.
Lately on Fridays, Thomas and I have dinner and hang out but today he is feeling very ill. You should have heard his voicemail. He couldn't say any consonants or breathe. Poor guy.
So I looked in the freezer to see if there was anything I wanted to eat.
17:56
Mmm... Ice. It's what's for dinner.
18:23
A trip to the store was needed.
19:03
Hunger took over and I ripped open a box of Triscuits while driving home. Eating out of a grocery bag in the car just seems so wrong to me. Next thing you know I'll be eating grapes while shopping for groceries and hand the cashier an empty bag at the checkout.
So what's a single gay guy to do on a Friday night?
19:25
Watch Ugly Betty, of course.
The sad thing is, I'm not sure I remember what some of these are for.
Today, the mighty sun god decided to be kind to the peoples of Phoenix and give us a reprieve from his balls-stuck-to-the-legs-hot temperatures. (Thank you Wayne for that new descriptor.)
Today was gorgeous! Just the right amount of sun and the right amount of breeze. I just walked outside and a wall of nighttime heat didn't smack me in the face. I need to check the tires on my bike. Me thinks nighttime bike rides are in order. (Don't worry. It has a light on it.)
After being cooped up all summer protected by ice cold A/C and the greatest invention of all time, the ceiling fan, it was such a treat actually WANT to be outside.
Thomas and I took a walk around Tempe Town Lake. Many other people had the same idea. The cutest couple asked us if one of us would take their picture for them. They were adorable.
It's days like these that make the horrendous summers worth it.
After The Greg™ shared with me the site icanhasderbygirlz.com, I mentioned that one day there will be a LOL site for everything. My current faves are LOLpresident, I Can Has Fug and LOL80s.
The Greg™ responded with, "I'm still waiting for the LOLbrian sites to start cropping up. Attached is my contribution."
I sit with my back to the entrance to my cubicle in the corner. Usually I am listening to my iPod while I work so people are constantly sneaking up behind me. (When I'm working of course. NEVER when I'm reading Mo Rocca's blog. I would never do that.)
So I installed a highly sophisticated security system to alert me of approaching visitors. Here, Korina demonstrates how fine-tuned this surveillance solution is.
Now to find some Windex to take care of those fingerprints.
I said, "I don't want it spiky." I think I should have been more specific.
Yesterday Adam and I flew to Portland for the day. We went to the Portland Saturday Market, ate delicious lebanese food, walked around Old Town Chinatown, took lots of pictures at the Portland Classical Chinese Garden, shopped for books at Powell's and then went back to the Market to eat vendor food. I even ate an Elephant Ear. (Carbs don't count when you're out of state. Did you not know that?) After all that, we went back to the airport and went back home.
It was an awesome time. I'm completely exhausted and a little sunburned, but I want to do it again.
Make clicky here to see the entire photo set.
And check out Adam's photos too!
I'm exhausted. I'll post photos of all the fun tomorrow.
Today is Kandy's 30th birthday. On Friday, Kristin threw a huge surprise party for her. The biggest surprise was her mother and grandmother flew in from Ohio for the party.
Her mom, grandma and aunt cooked all day in Kristin's kitchen and mine making a huge feast for about forty people. There was so much food. And so many carbs.
The dinner was at my house. Kristin really wanted this to be like the parties Kandy grew up with in Ohio, so the party had theme colors and everyone came dressed in white, navy blue, denim and silver.
Well, almost everyone.
After dinner, we went next door to Kristin and Kandy's house for the after party. More food, lots of drinks and dancing in the backyard.
It was an awesome time and if anyone deserves a huge party like this, it is Kandy. She is an amazing friend and we all love her very much.
To see the entire set of birthday photos, make clicky here.
I have this box of photos that is in desperate need of sorting. Most of the photos are from high school and college. I was quite the prolific photographer. If only I would have had the skills to warrant such productivity.
At some point, I should probably scan and label these photos. But for now, how about a look at some vintage Brian.
I have absolutely no recollection of this photo being taken. I remember when and where it was taken (senior year in college, spring break, Orlando), but don't remember the photo actually being taken. That wine glass may have something to do with it.
Luckily that lampshade is hiding my mullet. Yes, I had a mullet. It was the 90s. Everyone had a mullet. Or as my friend Kristin likes to say, everyone in Oklahoma had a mullet.
Even though you can't see the mullet — and trust me, you will see it eventually; there are countless photos of its existence — you can certainly see the swinging fashions of the day. Shirt buttoned up to the top. Friendship bracelets. And HELLO! Rolled up jeans!
Effin' classy.
In June, Patrick found this staring up at him while eating lunch.
Last night, I found the perfect accompanying beverage for his meal.
Yesterday, Dyanna came over and we decorated cookies for the hell of it. Dyanna is by far a mos def better cookie decorator than I but I gave it a good shot.
While we were listened to the 80's music station on cable, head bopping to Wham and Richard Marx, I realized that I think my high school reunion was this weekend. I decided a few months ago not to go. Since moving, I don't really have it in my budget to afford any traveling right now. It would have been nice to see some folks I haven't seen in a long time, but it's also nice to pay for air conditioning since it is 147° outside.
I know this is Pride weekend for many of you. So just for you, I made a very special cookie.
When the world gets loud, overloaded and seems unruly, it's good to stop, close your eyes and just breathe.
Tonight Julie came over to watch the Heroes finale. I made baked pasta for dinner. It. Was. Awesome. Both the pasta and the finale.
It's good to see Julie. I miss her.
Tonight I attended the Diamondbacks game with my friend St. John. We sat so close in left field, I could smell the dirt.
They played the Mets.
The Dbacks lost.
See other photos by making clicky here.
Friday, Thomas and I had dinner with Homer while we were in Tucson. Homer was sporting his new overalls.
Homer took us to Grill. When I realized that this was where Homer took Glenn when he was visiting, I knew there was only one choice for dinner.
Nutrition really is over-rated.
Moving sucks. For both of us.
Luckily, it will be over on Monday.
Mostly.
Yesterday was Homer's Non Denominational Boiled Egg Decorating and Backyard Egg Hunt. A Homer party isn't complete with an activity of sorts. It was a fun time. I got to meet a lot of his friends (including the visiting Glennalicious) and got dye all over my fingers. I didn't fare so well in the egg hunt. I think I was fourth from last. Next year, I'll have to employ more of a strategy than "wander around and look for eggs."
Pics of the party are on Flickr.
To prove to him that I can not only dish it out but also take it, let's take a peek inside my desk drawer.
Oh my! What a neat and tidy desk drawer. Do you think the bodies are kept in the basement or the freezer?
Let's take a closer look!
In case there was any doubt that this was the drawer of a gay man, one only needs to gaze upon the many health and beauty aids present. A toothbrush and toothpaste. A container of Q-Tips and let's not forget the most important item; because if To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar taught us anything, it was the importance of moisturizing.
And I use the glue stick to tame my eye brows.
And yes, I still have too many stamps. I got rid of a bunch last year, but I still have some left over.
And what germ-phobe wouldn't be complete without a travel size can of Lysol®?
Notice the scent is "Soft Powder" or as I like to call it, "Nana".
Dyanna gave me the Make a Wish pin and of course, I must show my love for the AZRD.
And finally to prove you can take the boy out of Oklahoma but not the Oklahoma out of the boy, I present you a wonderful discovery from a local cake decorating store.
Beer can cupcake toppers.
If there is anything more genius in this world than these beauties, I am not aware of it.
I'm waiting for a most auspicious occasion to use these. Like a white trash party or blue velvet cake.
This afternoon, Julie and I cleaned out and separated two closets full of stuff. It's amazing how much useless crap we have accumulated over the years. Magazines we've already read, rolls of gift wrap from holidays gone by, and video tapes of assorted Ally McBeal and Joan of Arcadia episodes. Plus, the greatest video of all, my coveted For Your Consideration tape of the pilot for Felicity, that was actually supposed to be a gift for Julie, but I instead decided to keep it for myself.
Wait a second! Ally, Joan and Felicity? That's right. I'm scheduling my vagina surgery soon.
Any who...while digging through the closet, I found this shiny silver lunch box with a bright red handle.
I had no idea what this was. We had completely forgot about it.
Presenting our emergency preparedness kit for those dire times like when mothers visit or...well, it's only for when mothers visit really.
What a lucky girl she must be to have someone luv her soooooo much he'd deface private property.
Who says romance is dead?
Have you met CB?
He's in a tragic shame spiral that involves watching televised wrestling and Nascar.
I'm calling on all bloggers to help intervene before it's too late and this is what we are left with.
Please, help CB help himself before pork rinds and Jeff Foxworthy tickets are the norm.
Coworker: Why do you have four little pigs on your desk?
Me: Because one is in my pocket.
Duh.
What is it about balloons that make even grown adults compelled to stuff them under their shirts and giggle like little girls?
Yes. That is me from many moons ago. I can't remember how old I was. Probably three or four.
I'm just going to go ahead and say it. Damn. I was a cute kid. Too bad it went all downhill.
When I look at this, I think two things. First, I'd kill to have that hair color. (Hell, I'd love to have that hair, as mine diminishes on a daily basis.) Look how perfect it is. What would you even call that? Auburn? Chestnut?
And secondly, what the hell did my mother dress me in? Is that a plaid tunic? Jeez.
I don't know a lot about my family. I only met my father's father a couple times; once when I was five and another when I was in junior high. He died my freshman year in college. I knew he had a twin brother, but that's it.
Honestly, I've never been that curious about his side of the family, but this weekend Homer was asking me about them. He then put his genealogy hat on and started tracing my family tree. After a few minutes he told me my grandfather's father's name was Speed. Now that's a soap opera name if I ever heard one.
Speed is engaged to marry Dominique but is secretly having an affair with Jasmine who is married to his brother Lujack who is trying to take over their father's, Harlan, international consulting firm.
He found the above photo of my grandfather's brothers. There were nine of them. I'm not sure if he's in it.
Homer also found out my great great great grandfather died fighting in the Civil War. Fighting for the Confederacy.
*blank stare*
Sometimes ignorance is bliss.
Yesterday, I decided to tap into my Inner Homer and do a little baking. I bought a green tea muffin mix from Trader Joe's a while ago out of curiosity, but had yet to make it.
I mixed the batter as directed. Let's just say, looks aren't everything.
Okay...I admit I didn't follow the recipe totally as directed. I never do. I added a little ground ginger to give it a slight kick and iced them with a lemon glaze and a touch of yellow colored sugar.
They actually taste quite yummy. And don't forget that green tea is chocked full of antioxidant goodness!
And just in time for Christmas!
And the winner is...
Thanks to all who voted and thanks to Homer for encouraging people to vote. I hope he didn't get very, very put out and pouty.
Since the vote was so close, I decided to post a picture of the runner up too.
Delicious!
Holy crap! Check out those eyebrows!
Scary, huh? They look like they need their own zip code.
I think Mary said it best. "You grew into your eyebrows."
Nice.
This is my friend Kimberly. Kimberly, not Kim. Isn't she adorable? I miss her and her husband Todd so much. They just had a kid. It completely blows my mind to think that they have a kid. He is as adorable as they are.
I'm cleaning out a bunch of closets and boxes and stuff and finding a tons of nostalgia to OD on. I found a picture of one of my friends who died this year. She is so happy and smiling in this photo. I'm glad I have found it.
For Thanksgiving this year, I showed Thomas how to make Angry Black Bitch's Corn Casserole Yumminess. Here is Thomas excited to be given the task of opening the cans of corn.
Because Thomas is a vegetarian, I had to substitute the Jiffy Corn Mix with one that doesn't contain lard.
Mmm...tasty, tasty lard.
This is what the corn casserole looks like in the bowl. Disgusting looking...isn't it. That's a sure sign it's going to taste awesome.
After I added about 10 pounds of shredded cheese to it, it's ready for the oven.
While, they were baking, I decided to take a picture of Thomas's pantry so I could ridicule him on the internet.
Here it is in its sad, sad bachelorness.
Would you look at all that spaghetti on the top shelf of which has remained UNOPENED for the last two months.
Sometimes a Costco card is just not a good idea.
Time to check on the casseroles.
Still not done. This gives me time to mock the contents of Thomas's refrigerator.
Just look at all those microwave dinner for one meals. So sad. And check out that industrial bag of french fries. What goes well with french fries?
That's right...two vats of ketchup. With a gleam in his eye he announced, "Oh, I loves me some ketchup."
To reward Thomas for being such a good sport about making fun of his sad, sad bachelor kitchen, I gave him a tasty cake named after our Governor.
Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!
From the Signals catalog I present you the Dancing Solo Limestone Sculpture.
I think Korina says it best.
"Apparently she hasn't been dancing solo for too long."
So...who wants to be my Wingman®? Anyone? Anyone?
Yesterday, I visited Homer in Tucson.
We went to the All Souls' Procession which is a celebration inspired by Mexico's Dia de los Muertos holiday.
While there we ran into Kacy and her friend Amy.
I love going to the All Souls' Procession. It's so amazing see the community in Tucson come together for this unique celebration.
There are many pictures in my Flickr set.
Happy Halloween! Have a cup of joe. It will only cost you your soul. Mwhahahahaha!!
Sad news. Today, during my daily walk to Starbucks with Korina, we discovered the toothbrush we've seen every day for almost six months is gone. We looked around to see if it was moved or blown away, but alas...it is gone, seemingly forever.
Goodbye nasty toothbrush. I hope no one is using you.
So I saw this on Alden's site. (Not "All Done" mind you. It's Alden.) He did it in May, very creatively I might add, and it seemed like fun so here I go.
6:32 AM
Green Salsa is an important part of a balanced breakfast.
7:34 AM
Cube Sweet Cube.
8:55 AM
I just moved to this desk a couple weeks ago. I need to figure out what to do with the wall. Some artwork perhaps. Any suggestions?
9:42 AM
Every day Korina and I walk to Starbucks and feed The Machine® as well as our addictions. We've been doing this for several months. For that entire time, this toothbrush has always been there. I was on the side walk for a long time, but eventually was swept aside to the curb. And, like the dorks we are, we look to make sure it's there every day.
2:23 PM
I forgot to take my camera to lunch, so I brought some of the soup to show you. What's the secret ingredient of Le Peep's vegetable soup? Chicken!
Le Peep? More like Le Poop.
4:06 PM
I'm a bit of a clock-watcher, especially in the afternoon. Once it hits 4:30 PM, I am out of there. Usually.
5:07 PM
I took this picture because of Alden's May drawing. I love these shoes but they squeak when I walk. I could never be a ninja.
6:09 PM
Please ignore the dirty floor. It's the maid's week off.
7:14 PM
I had dinner at The Orange Table, one of my favorite places to eat. Conveniently it's just down the street from my house. The food is so good. I eat there often.
7:33 PM
I had the Taco Potstickers for dinner. They rock so hard.
8:09 PM
Later I called Homer. You know, it's difficult taking a photo of a phone. Very difficult.
8:26 PM
The night is still young.
Bonus: Halloween
And the bonus photo in the theme of Halloween.
We all have them. Here are a few of mine that I'm willing to own up to. (There's at least one that I would NEVER reveal publically...for now.)
What are some of yours?
Dear Korina,
Thanks for the pizza stone. I haven't quite mastered its use yet.
XO,
Brian
Birthday gift certificates + free two-day shipping = one happy Brian
I also got a Starbucks gift card from a couple of the dudes in the sales department for helping them out with an ad campaign.
iPod Nano. Free iced tea. Good Friday indeed.
I think everyone had a good time at le birthday bash o' dinner last night. It was nice getting people together and seeing the groups mingle. People from old work. Other people from even older work. Community Center peeps. (There's that word again.) And then friends who are more like family.
All my pictures looked like ass, but Adam's turned out pretty good. I'm a little scared by the one of me with giant swirl of ice cream like product.
Update: Dyanna took some pictures too. Yay Dyanna!
Adam had a little bit too much fun, knocking out the background of this photo for a Kristin Around the World montage.
Last night a big storm hit. Finally after months of deserty dryness we got some rain. Not just some. A lot. Our power went out for a while. Oddly enough, computers don't work without electricity. How sadly dependent I've become. Thank goodness for text messaging and cell phones.
Monday is Adam's birthday. I took him to lunch today and gave him his present: the new DVD edition of Mommie Dearest with commentary by John Waters.
I made the wrapping paper myself. :-)
Seriously...do you see where the tank is in relation to the countertop? Now, go look at your toilet and see where the tank is compared to your countertop. This is One. Squatty. Toilet.
I asked Liz if her house was a day care center before she moved in.
The kicker is her husband Eric is like 3 stories tall. The dude TOWERS over me, and I'm pretty tall.
There were tons of new people at roller derby on Saturday. The vibe was a little weird at the beginning. Could be since all the newbies didn't quite know what to make of it. Also, the band packed up and left when the game started. (What the H?)
There is a slideshow today on azcentral.com from Saturday’s bout. In one of the pictures you can see Kacy's head and my body. (That would be an odd looking FrankenBrian.)
regretfully
i guess i've only got three
simple things to say:
why me?
why this now?
why this way?
with overtones ringing
and undertows pulling away
under a sky that is grey
on sand that is grey
by an ocean that's grey
grey — Ani DiFranco
Whaddya think?
Aaron Edwards is revealing his sweet Photoshop secrets. Take a look what they can do! (Here is the original.)
If he could talk, I think Elliott would say this is the best present ever. The runner-up would be the paper bag it came in which he also like to hide in. Elliott loves him some paper sack. Our living room usually has a bag from Trader Joe's on the floor for his amusement.
The purple cat toy you see in the bottom right corner is something Elliott largely ignores. Again...he'd rather play with a paper sack than the four dollar cat toy, and yet I never learn to stop buying things like that.
Julie said we should name him and I suggested Michael since Elliott was named after Elliot on thirtysomething.
She said that was stupid and decided a more appropriate and dignified name would be Mr. Peepers.
I'm not too fond of mailing cards this time of year. It kills too many trees.
I am a fan of making your own. Here is a holiday offering for you.
Happy Holidays!
Homer always says when he doesn't have anything to post, he writes about his cats.
I'll just post a picture.
Jason (The Roommate's Boyfriend™/The Male Roommate™) took this. I think he's in love with Elliott (The Cat™), but I mean...c'mon...who wouldn't be?
If you are old enough to GROW A MOUSTACHE...then you probably shouldn't be trick-or-treating. My guess is that you are tragically geeky and aren't getting laid and for that, you have my sympathy so, yeah...I'll give you some candy anyway Oxy Pad.
But hats off to you on your costume selection of going as a business man and using a briefcase to collect your candy. Very clever. Your teenage companion Gandalf could benefit from some originality.
And now...a Halloween Joke for you.
Q: What does a vegetarian zombie say?
A: GRAAAAAINS!
Mary Mo made sushi with Twinkies, Fruit Rollups and Swedish fish. She was kind enough to bring me the rejects.
I did not try it. However it couldn't have been worse than this.
Inspired by this, I decided do a Google image search of my name. No tombstones, but I did find this.
This is equally as disturbing.
So I'm at Trader Joe's and it's a glorious Sunday afternoon. Perfect day for the week's grocery shopping. I head for the store and stop by the carts to grab one.
There I find the oldest, worn, rusted, plain saddest little shopping cart in front of the bin full of bright, shiny new carts. As the Snottsdale Rich Bitches moved The Little Shopping Cart That Could out of there way so they could get a new, fancy cart for their shopping, they looked at it in disgust.
"You are simply too filthy to hold my groceries," they'd say just before they spat upon it.
TLSCTC looked up at me in shame with its big, sad eyes. "Nobody wants me," it whimpered.
"I'll take you!" I proclaimed. "I will help you fulfill your shopping cart destiny!" And with that I whisked TLSCTC from its bin and proudly pushed it into the store.
I wobbled it through the produce aisle and listen to the appalled crowd gasped. Whispers were heard as my rickety friend and I turned every corner. The Scottsdale Rich Bitches grabbed their children and covered their eyes so my brazen use of a rickety shopping cart wouldn't scar them.
I stuck my tongue out and made a face at each one of those little privileged snots. The fled in terror.
After I checked out, I took TLSCTC back to the bin so I could tell it goodbye. I can not lie. There were tears.
After we said goodbye, I grabbed my bag and noticed there was a sign on the seat.
Turns out TLSCTC was just a long way from home and its family.
The End.
"I stay away from bread. To be honest, bread constipates me,
and I like to have my daily bowel movement.
I'm going to keep this up because it's become a lifestyle
that I'm almost addicted to."
- Jessica Simpson
I really don't think there is more I could add to that.
Godly advice for all you Hail Marys out there. Check
out the papal wit & wisdom of Pope Adam.
Send your questions, confessions, or thoughts to pope@aristoi.org.
I posted this outside my cubicle last week.
src="http://cheapblueguitar.blogspot.com/untitled.jpg" width="432" height="288" align="center" alt="Untitled (Human in Cubicle)">
So far not a single person has commented about it.
The humor may be a bit too high brow for this place. Either that or they just think I'm weird.
Probably both.
